New Makeover

I thought it was time to lighten things up for summer so I changed my background. I was drawn to the pink so maybe that's foreshadowing for the sex of the babies? Ha!

Not really anything new to report. I've still felt those little tappings off and on and it's consistently happening in the same spot so I'm leaning toward thinking that I'm really feeling something.

My next OB appointment is June 4th and I can't wait. I don't know if she'll do another ultrasound but I'm hoping to at least hear the heart beats again. It's been 3 weeks since I've seen or heard my little babies and I miss them!

Tomorrow, we're going to my niece's baptism. I can't believe she was born a year ago. Where does the time go? I looked back at my archive and I did my very first Lupron shot the night before she was born. Oh, how naively hopeful I was before that first IVF cycle.

None of that matters now. We got here and that's what counts.

14 Weeks & Belly Pic

I'm feeling much better today. Hopefully I got all of my "Debbie Downer" out yesterday.

I think that maybe, I just might have felt the babies move today. Since I don't know what it feels like, I really have no idea but it happened off and on all day and it sort of felt like someone was lightly tapping me. Surprisingly, it seemed to be happening where Baby A is located so maybe he/she has been fooling us the whole time. Here I was thinking he/she was the quiet one!

Here's a few 14-week belly pics:

Second Trimester Eve

I am officially in my 2nd trimester tomorrow. While this is a BIG milestone, I’m still scared (and nervous and anxious and excited…) because I know something could still go wrong. Up until now, if I miscarried, it was most likely a genetic defect with one of the babies. That’s hard enough to accept. Now, if I miscarry, it’s most likely a defect with me. In some ways, that’s harder to digest.

There are still times when this doesn’t seem real. When I’m reading other girls’ blogs, it’s so easy to return to the thinking that I know. The wondering what it feels like to be pregnant, the questions of when it’ll happen to me. Maybe that will get easier when I start to feel the babies move and they become “real”? I don’t know. I’m surprised by the feelings of guilt that I have. Yes, I went through my share of disappointment and heart ache to get here but I can’t help but feel the same heart ache for others who haven’t gotten here. I hope that doesn’t sound cliché because it is truly heart felt. It’s a feeling that surprises me. I thought getting pregnant would solve all of those feelings of inadequacy, emptiness and utter frustration. In a way, it has but I still find myself being very guarded and wondering when the other shoe will drop. I feel guilty for not being naively happy about my pregnancy. I’m really trying to live in the moment and to cherish every day that I have with this healthy pregnancy. I know too well the feeling of loss and I NEVER want to go there again. EVER.

Wow, I totally didn’t intend to go there when I started this post. Sometimes things just need to come out, I guess.

So, here’s the “happy” portion of the post:

How far along? 13 Weeks, 6 days

Total weight gain/loss: May have gained 5 pounds according to my scale at home. Yippee!

Maternity clothes? Since I was 9 weeks

Stretch marks? None but I’m lubing with Belly Butter every day!

Sleep: Better now that I have a Snoogle pillow but still not great

Best moment this week: Learning the results of the NT scan

Movement: Hopefully within the next 2-3 weeks

Food cravings: Still craving carbs but I’m still very finicky.

Gender: Won’t find out until my 20-week appointment – BOO!

Labor Signs: No

Belly Button in or out? In but my belly button looks like it shrunk. Is this normal?

What I miss: I did crave a hot dog the other day.

What I am looking forward to: My next OB appointment but mostly learning the sexes.

Weekly Wisdom: If symptoms haven’t changed, assume everything is still OK.

Milestones: Getting to the 2nd trimester.

NT Scan Results

N-O-R-M-A-L

The best words I could ever hear! The doctor called this morning and missed me but got Todd (DH). I'm really hoping he got the message right because well, you know guys. They seem to miss things like... uh, details?

She said all test results were normal and that our risk factor was 1 in 2,000 for the kids to have Down Syndrome. I'm simply ecstatic with that since I was going to be happy with a risk factor of 1 in 200 (for my age range).

So, Todd & I talked and we don't see any point in doing any further tests. Even if something showed up, we wouldn't terminate so it wouldn't do us any good to go through the stress and increased risk for a miscarriage.

I'm still feeling good although I had a real scare the other night. I chowed down on a burrito bowl from Chipotle for dinner around 6:30 and went to bed at my usual time of 9:30-ish.

Don't laugh... I'm old and pregnant. 9:30 is a perfectly acceptable bed time!

Anyway, I woke up around midnight with horrible chest pain. I mean horrible and right between my boobs. At first, I thought I was sleeping funny and pinched a nerve between my shoulder blades because I have a pesky nerve there. It almost felt like I needed to crack my back.

And, then, it just hurt. Like someone was sitting on my chest. I tried to lay on my left side, and then my right and nothing was working. Every time I layed down, it hurt worse.

I seriously started to evaluate whether I was having a heart attack. I wasn't short of breath, I wasn't sweating and my left arm wasn't tingly but it was enough for me to sit up and ask, "What the hell is going on?"

After sitting straight up in bed for about 45 minutes, the pain started to subside and it went away enough for me to lay down.

I haven't had it since so I think it was just really, really bad indigestion.

Damn Chipotle! Why must you be so good and yet so bad?

On a side note, please stop by and give some love to Tiffany at Slow Journey. She is 20-weeks pregnant with twin boys and was just put on bed rest for an incompetent cervix. I'm thinkin' of ya girl!

NT Scan

We had our NT scan this morning. I wasn't sure what to expect and man, was it long!
Our appointment was at 10:45am and of course, they didn't take us on time.

I was escorted to a dressing room where I had to take every thing off but my bra and then proceed to put on this hideous hospital gown. Why don't those things ever tie right?! My right boob was playing peek-a-boo the entire time.

They took me back to the exam room and then went and got hubby. The ultrasound machine looked like the flight panel from the space shuttle. Holy crap!

About 10 minutes later, the u/s tech came in. Wow, was she a treat at first! Absolutely no bedside manner. Before our appointment, I told hubby that I would try to sweet talk her into looking for the sex and/or revealing the results of the scan.

Uh, that wasn't working with Atilla.

She sat down at the machine and said "Twins, huh? Through IVF or natural?"

And then, "Twins are always difficult to get. I'll try for an hour and then I might have to send you to lunch and then you'll have to come back".

So she squirted the u/s goo on the stomach and went to town. Baby A was doing yoga and standing on his/her head so we skipped that one.

Baby B is still a spaz. I really don't think that child sleeps. Every time we see him/her, its doing a crazy dance. This time, it was kicking and swatting one arm like there was a fly in there with it.

"Par-tay ova here. Wave yer hanz like yu jus don care"

Anyway, at least he/she was cooperative and it went pretty quick.

Atilla offered no feedback.

On to Baby A and more u/s goo. I'm getting a vibe on that baby too. It's either really shy or doesn't put up with any shit. It was having none of what we were doing.

We poked and prodded and finally, he/she moved into a position where we could get some measurements.

After the ultrasound part, they took a small amount of my blood and placed 5 drops on a piece of paper that will be sent to the lab for evaluation. I think there are 2 proteins that will be elevated if there's a sign of an abnormality.

Atilla left the room to check her measurements and to make sure she got everything and said the doctor would come in next.

It was like night and day. The doctor was very personable and immediately said both babies look great and are exactly the right sizes for their age. She also said the nuchal measurements were normal and that they saw nasal bones in each baby. All good signs!

The measurements combined with the blood work have a 95% accuracy rate of identifying potential problems. I think the results will come back as a ratio with an indicator of low, medium or high risk.

She squirted more goo on my tummy and took a look for herself. She tried to get us a 3D image and thinks she may have gotten one but she needed to play with it. If it turned out, she said she'd mail it to us.

The whole thing lasted about 1 1/2 hours and I'm really glad we decided to do it. I already feel some peace of mind just from what the doctor said.

When the doctor left, I had to attempt to get the 2 inches of u/s goo off my stomach. That stuff was everywhere!

I just went to the bathroom (4 hours later) and it's still in my belly button.

And that's the end of story time.

12 Weeks..... almost

I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow. I'm nearing the end of the first trimester and I can guarantee that I'm doing a big "Phew".

I don't really have anything new to report. I'm still trying to find calories wherever I can to gain some weight. For lunch today, I had a big whopping portion of spaghetti with meatballs, a side salad and a piece of garlic bread.

And, it was yummy!

Erin at Hoping For Our Own Peanut always posts an update and I liked it so I'm stealing it for my update this week. :)

How far along? 11 Weeks, 6 days
Total weight gain/loss: None
Maternity clothes? Since I was 9 weeks
Stretch marks? None
Sleep: Still sporadic but I'm getting used to sleeping on my side
Best moment this week: Doing absolutely NOTHING on Sunday
Movement: Hopefully within the next 4 weeks
Food cravings: Still craving pasta, salty foods, mashed potatoes. It sort of changes day to day
Gender: Would love to have one of each but will be happy with whatever combo we get!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In still
What I miss: Can't think of anything
What I am looking forward to: Hoping to catch a glimpse of the babies on Friday when I have the NT scan done
Weekly Wisdom: It's normal to have gas like a man when pregnant. Yuck!
Milestones: Every day

And, here's this week's belly pic:

I Got In Trouble

I saw my endocrinologist today to check my thyroid levels. During pregnancy, it's not uncommon to have the levels get all crazy. I've been going every 6 weeks because I'm at an increased risk for miscarriage if my levels get too high or too low.

Anyway, they always weigh me and apparently, I haven't gained ANY weight. Zippy. Zilch. She was NOT happy.

I had to review my entire diet with her and to put it bluntly, she said, "You have to eat more. You aren't eating enough".

Translation - "You are starving your babies".

So, here's my typical diet:
Breakfast (one of the following)
A bowl of cereal (usually multi-grain such as Raisin Bran or Total). Sometimes with fruit and usually with a glass of calcium-enriched orange juice
A bagel with cream cheese with OJ
An English muffin with a slice of tomato and American cheese OR peanut butter with OJ

Mid-morning snack (one of the following)
Granola bar
Trail mix (about a cup)
Crackers (Cheez-Its or Rice cakes)

Lunch
Leftover dinner or
Lean Cuisine frozen dinner with chips or salad

Afternoon snack (one of the following)
Pudding
Granola bar
Peanut butter crackers

Dinner
I pretty much eat whatever seems appealing. I'll usually eat some sort of pasta at least 2 times/week, chicken has been grossing me out so I haven't been eating as much of that. We eat out twice/week at someplace like Baja, Chipotle.

I've never been a huge junk food eater and I try to eat healthy. Obviously, I'm trying twice as hard now that I'm pregnant. I eat until I feel full.

So, where in the hell am I supposed to get another 600 calories per day? I don't think I can fit it my stomach! I fully expect to gain at least 40 lbs while pregnant so I'm not trying to NOT gain weight.

She suggested that I start drinking more milk and/or milkshakes and I can do that (the milkshakes will be easier because I've always hated milk).

If anyone has any suggestions, I will gladly take them. My OB/GYN didn't mention any concerns about my weight at my appointment on Tuesday but she also didn't have a baseline to compare.

Amazing

I had my first "real" doctor's appointment today with my regular OB/GYN.

It was absolutely amazing. We got to hear both heart beats and both babies were moving and dancing.

Baby A seems to be a little calmer. He/she was active at first and then got shy and curled up with his/her knees tucked. Heart beat was 177.

Baby B likes to dance. He/she was kicking and shaking his/her arms and legs the entire time. Heart beat was 168.



We've opted to do the NT scan next week to pre-screen for any genetic disorders such as Down Syndrome. The results of that test will determine if we want to pursue any further testing (i.e CVS or amnio).

The rest of the appointment was pretty standard. They took some vaginal samples, 7 vials of blood and urine. My next check-up is June 4th (4 weeks).

I feel so much more relieved now that we've seen them again and especially since they were so active.

Is this really happening? Am I really going to have 2 babies?