Conception Deception

Bubble Fun

2012-01-22T11:00:00.000-08:00

Shameless Plug

2012-01-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about finally starting another blog that I had been thinking about for quite some time.

The name of the blog is Meals for Moms and I'm happy to report that I've posted 19 recipes so far!

Thank you to everyone who has left me comments. My main goal with starting the blog was to offer simple, easy meals to other moms who were faced with the same time constraints and struggles as me. I really hope it helps to relieve some of the stress associated with trying to get a meal on the table at the end of the day.

If you haven't already, please check it out. And, if you like what you see, tell a friend! I love reading comments so please give me your feedback if you've tried a recipe or if you have one that you'd like to share.

I have a ton more recipes to share and I'm commited to posting new recipes each week. So far, I've been focusing mainly on main dishes but I promise you, I have some wonderful appetizer and dessert recipes too!

Happy Cooking!

Where's the instruction manual?

2012-01-10T10:49:00.000-08:00

The twins moved over to the Pre I room at their daycare on their 2nd birthday in October. The room that is also known as the “potty training” room.

I remember thinking to myself, “Are we really here already”?

The kids were quite apprehensive about the whole potty experience at first. Christopher approached it with his usual “I’m not afraid” attitude and then quickly came to the conclusion that it wasn’t exciting enough and he didn’t want to be bothered with it.

If it doesn’t involve footballs, markers or sharks, forget about it!

Kendall was much more intrigued but would sit with a death grip on the teacher. She slowly learned that it was OK and she now sits there like a big girl. And then suddenly, Christopher thought he was missing out on something and began to exclaim, “My turn!” when Kendall was on the potty.

I thought it was probably time that I joined in on the fun and the kids started sitting on the potty at home. Admittedly, I’m completely clueless with how the whole process works.

I mean, I know how to use the potty myself but how do you teach someone how to do it? What equipment do I need? How will I know when they need to go?

I knew I didn’t want to buy one of those potties that sits on the floor. To be honest, it grosses me out. Who wants to empty and clean that thing multiple times per day?

It’s so 1800’s.

I debated on buying a training seat for the big potty but decided against it. They don’t use anything at school and I thought it was probably better to keep things consistent.

Until about 2 weeks ago.

The kids started sitting on the potty at every diaper change. It was Kendall’s turn and she was happy as can be. Beaming with pride as she sat on that potty.

Christopher walked in and started climbing on me. I grabbed him so he wouldn’t knock her down and as I did that, I lost my grip on Kendall.

S-P-L-A-S-H!

Oh, yes. My baby fell in the toilet. Ass first.

She looked at me with this look of horror. And then she started crying. I tried not to overreact because I didn’t want her to be scared. The whole time I’m thinking, “Crap. I just set back the whole process by months”.

I didn’t push the potty the rest of the day. At the bedtime diaper change, she approached me and asked if she could sit on the potty.

Ah. No permanent damage done. The next day, I went out and bought a Sesame Street training seat.

And, that’s as far as we’ve gotten. We do A LOT of sitting with no action to date.

So, here’s my question for those experienced potty trainers: What’s the next step? Do we just keep doing what we’re doing? Or, should I start setting a timer for every 30 minutes and asking if they need to go?

To be honest, I’m not sure I’m ready. The thought of training 2 at the same time freaks the hell outta me.

Can’t they stay in diapers forever? If I play my cards right, they’ll be in Depends Undergarments before they hit the 1st grade.

Saturday Morning Snuggles

2012-01-09T06:23:00.000-08:00

New Blog Meals for Moms

2012-01-01T10:30:00.000-08:00

With the start of a new year, I thought I'd finally get off my butt and do something that I've been wanting to do for quite some time.

As I'm sure many of you have, I am constantly struggling with finding easy, quick and healthy recipes that I can make after working all day. There are a ton of websites that offer recipes but who has that kind of time? Over the last 2 years, I have compiled many "go to" recipes that are simple and delicious.

So, I'm starting a new blog called "Meals for Moms". I hope it will become a place that you can visit to get ideas and hopefully a few good meals too.

I'll continue to post on this blog as well. After all, I still need a place to brag about my kids! ;)

Come on by for a visit!
http://meals4moms.blogspot.com/

Can I get a Christmas Re-do?

2011-12-27T12:52:00.000-08:00

Ugh, I wish I had one of those "happy, everything was wonderful" Christmas posts. Nothing tragic happened, it just wasn't the best Christmas.

The morning of Christmas Eve, DH came downstairs and said he wasn't feeling well. He was awake for about an hour and then went back to bed. By the afternoon, he was running a 102 fever. We always celebrate with my husband's side of the family on Xmas Eve and we had plans to go to my BIL house that night at 5:00.

I ended up taking the kids by myself and it was fine. The twins love their 2 cousins and they played with them all night. I had planned to come back home by 9:00 or 9:30 but my husband's other brother and his wife shot that plan out the window. I'll refer to them as T & D.

Do you have anyone in your family that is so self-centered and selfish that you just can't comprehend their actions?   The type of people that think everything revolves around their schedule?

Yep, that's my husband's youngest brother and his wife. They do this sort of thing ALL OF THE TIME.

We have celebrated with my husband's family on Christmas Eve for the last 10 years. It's a set plan and everyone knows the routine. A few years ago,  T & D started attending the 5:00 service at their church but they would always come over afterwards and would usually arrive by 7:00 or so.

This year, they decided to attend church and then go to dinner afterwards. They said they thought they would still arrive by 8:00 but that time came and went. Keep in mind this is 3 hours after the rest of us arrived.

My kids go to bed by 8:00, at the latest. So, now I've got 2 increasingly sleepy and grumpy toddlers on my hands. By myself.  And, then 8:30 came.  And, they still weren't there. I was started to get a little mad.

We haven't seen T &D or their 3 kids since my twins birthday in October. I was tempted to just leave without seeing them but I wanted to see my nieces and I wanted to see them open their presents and I would hope that they would like to see the twins open theirs.

Apparently their dinner plans were more important?

They finally arrived at 9:45 and you better believe I made a few comments:

To my BIL: "If you had been 5 minutes later, you would've missed us". And then my SIL had the nerve to say, "I can't believe you're still here".

Are you friggin' serious?!

I quickly replied, "Well, we wanted to see you and I thought you'd want to see us too. But, we need to leave in the next 10 minutes. The kids are tired and so am I".

We quickly exchanged gifts and then I loaded the kids in the car. They were completely exhausted and I was thinking about all of the stuff that I still needed to do back home (put some toys together, finish wrapping).

I fell into bed at midnight and DH was still sick as a dog.

And, then Christopher woke up at 2:30 am. And, wouldn't go back to bed. I finally took him down to the living room, where he caught the first glimpse of his Xmas presents. So much for capturing the kids' expressions as they entered the room on Christmas morning. We both dozed on the couch until 7:30 am.

I went upstairs to wake up Kendall and Daddy and thought, "OK, here we go! It's Christmas morning!" and I was super excited.

And, then the kids weren't interested in opening any presents. At all.

I stayed up until midnight wrapping their gifts and I had to open all of them. Why did I bother?

And, DH was still sick.

So, it was just the twins and I all day on Christmas.

I know that none of what happened is a big deal if I'm looking at the big picture but I was so disappointed at how the day went. I have such fond memories of Christmas as a child and it's my favorite holiday. I envisioned getting pictures of the twins opening their presents and laughing and giggling. Instead I got temper tantrums and 2 toddlers who had their own agenda. I hated that DH was sick and stayed in bed all weekend. I hated that his brother was so selfish and that we didn't get to spend more time with everyone.

I guess there's always next year.

A Letter to my RE

2011-12-21T11:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. Browne,
I drove past your office today and couldn't help but smile to myself. I can't believe it's been over 2 years since you gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for.

I've been meaning to write this letter for so long but somehow, I've just never been able to find the right words. How do I express my gratitude? How do I express how full my heart is? We have 2 beautiful children and it wouldn't have been possible without you. I am thankful beyond words.

You truly have the best job in the world. You have the ability to provide miracles to families who thought it wasn't possible. Families who thought they could never have children. You get to see life as it happens, literally. I'm so thankful for your abilities and your passion for what you do.

I remember our conversation after my first failed cycle. I entered that meeting so discouraged and broken hearted. You looked at me and said, "There's absolutely no reason that we can't get you pregnant. We still have alot of options and I'm confident we're going to get you there".

And, you did.

After my 2nd IVF cycle, I remember you called me with the beta results and sounded just as excited as me. At my first ultrasound, you told me it was twins and when you looked up, you had tears in your eyes. I'll never forget that.

I know you have helped so many more families over the last 2 years and I'm sure they feel the same sentiment as me. You are a very special human being. Thank you for giving me my miracles.

All the Best,
S & T

It Ain't Over 'Til The Toddler Has A Tantrum

2011-12-20T11:41:00.000-08:00

We took the twins to see Sesame Street Live: Elmo Makes Music on Saturday. We bought the tickets back in October and, at the time, December seemed far away. I honestly can't believe that Christmas is in 5 days.

I tried to keep my expectations in check. We haven't really taken the kids to many public events - partially because of their age and mostly because we're on a pretty strict budget.

If it ain't low cost, we ain't doin' it.

So, needless to say, we splurged on the tickets because I truly thought the kids would have a blast. They adore anything Sesame Street.

When the show started, Bert and Ernie came out first and the look on Kendall's face was priceless. Her eyes got wide and she pointed and yelled, "Errrrrnieeee"!

I seriously got teary eyed. I'm not joking.

Christopher was much more stoic about the whole event. He sat on hubby's lap and watched but really showed little emotion.

The one obstacle that I didn't anticipate was the seats. It was stadium seating and the kids weren't quite heavy enough to keep the seat in the downright position. It kept wanting to pop up. So DH and I had to hold the seat down the entire time for fear that we'd look over and see just a head and feet sticking out.

They did fairly well up until the first intermission (about 45 minutes into the show). Christopher seemed to have more fun running around in the hallways than he did watching the show.

When it was time to go back in for the 2nd half, neither of them wanted to go back to our seats. They were done.

(you can call this part foreshadowing)

Ohhhhh no. We paid for these tickets and we're using them, darn it!

I coaxed them back in with the allure of Apple Jacks but they were both super antsy for the remainder of the show.

Kendall kept getting in and out of her seat and I swear she kicked the lady in front of us in the head at least 10 times. God Bless Her for pretending she didn't feel it.

Toward the end of the show, DH and I had to resort to pulling out our iPhones and letting the kids play games to keep them occupied. The entire show lasted about 90 minutes and my kids were ready to go.

DH took his phone back from Christopher as we packed up and that started the meltdown. Ohhhhhh ho yes.

Full on "throw myself on the ground kicking feet screaming" meltdown. We had to fireman carry him out into the main hallway and tried to calm him down but he was not having it.

I tried to get his coat on and I would have had more success trying to dress a cat.

And then, in true twin fashion, Kendall started. We carried 2 screaming, crying kids from the stadium to the parking lot.

We got a few stares and a few people glancing back at us. Thankfully, it was a kids' venue and most everyone was immune to it. Had we been anywhere else, I would have been humiliated because of how they were carrying on.

All in all, I don't regret going. I was a little surprised at the length of the show - I was thinking an hour max. The show itself was cute although it did incorporate a human character, Jenny. She was a little boring and honestly, the kids all just want to see the characters. There was a story line with lots of singing and dancing and some of the repetition got a little... well, repetitive.

"C is for cookie... it's good enough for me"

R.S.V. without the P

2011-12-12T09:18:00.000-08:00

We gots da RSV up in da house.

Both kids have had runny noses for oh, the last 2 weeks so it's impossible to tell what's new and what's still hanging around. They both started with some juicy sounding coughs on Saturday but energy and appetites were good.

We went to my BIL house that night and they played with their cousins. One of whom was diagnosed with strep but had been on antibiotics for over 24 hrs. The kids stayed up WAY past their bedtime and we were home by 10:00.

Christopher woke up Sunday morning at the usual 5:00 am time and DH got up with him. Kendal slept until 7:00. It was my morning to sleep in so I didn't come downstairs until 8:30. I found Kendall sitting next to Daddy watching Sprout TV and Christopher was asleep on his chest.

I didn't think much of it since he went to bed late and got up early. DH took him upstairs to his bed and went to take a nap himself.

2 1/2 hours went by and not a peep from Christopher so I went to check on him. He was burning up. Took his temperature and it was 101.3. It came right down after a dose of Motrin but we battled it all day.

Something still wasn't sitting right with me though. The late onset fever after runny nose and cough surely indicated an infection of some sort and Christopher just didn't seem like himself. After the 2 1/2 hour morning nap, he went back to sleep on the couch for another 2 hours.

They went to bed at their normal bedtime but he just seemed uncomfortable and his breathing seemed more rapid than usual. He also started doing this grunting thing. I was sure he was on his way to the pneumonia train.

So, at 7:30 I decided to take him to the ER. We had to wait about 45 minutes before they even called his name. I took his temp right before we left and it was 99.0 but as we sat there, I could tell it was climbing.   They finally called us back to the triage area and his temp was 103. They took us to a room and the nurse said she'd be right back with some Tylenol.

45 minutes later, we're still sitting there. And, my little boy is miserable. And, I'm thinking, "I should have brought my own medicine.   This is ridiculous".

The nurse practicioner came in to take a preliminary look and took his temp again. Now, it was 104. Uh, can you get a move on with the Tylenol, please?!

She checked his lungs and said they still sounded clear. Phew. She said every child that has come in with runny nose and high temp has tested positive for RSV and she suspected Chris would too. They did a strep culture just to be safe.

All said and done, we got home at 11:30. With the same instructions that I would have done at home anyway. Treat the symptoms - Motrin as needed. Saline drops, suction with bulb syringe.

The cost of peace of mind?   $100 co-pay but at least I could sleep last night.

Kendall woke up with a fever this morning so I'm guessing she has it too. They've been playing well today and appetites are OK; not great.   Just put them down for a nap and I'm not too far behind!

Wordless Wednesday ~ Amateur Photography

2011-12-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

I've become interested in photography lately. I get some OK shots here and there but I need more practice. Here's a few that I've taken over the last few weeks.

Snuggles are still the best

2011-11-28T17:08:00.000-08:00

It's beginning to look alot like.....

2011-11-27T10:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas!

This is hands down my favorite time of year! I could not wait to get the Christmas decorations up this year so I could see the pure amazement and excitement in the kids' eyes.

We put up the Christmas tree the Friday evening after Thanksgiving. Last year, we placed it in the corner of our dining room and completely gated off the dining room so the twins couldn't bother it. I debated on whether I should do the same this year. Or, are they now old enough to understand?

That question, along with my frustration of constantly picking up the kids' toys in the family room, gave me a brainstorm. After the kids are in bed every night, I have to stumble over toys and their mess just to relax on the couch and it drives me absolutely bonkers.

We live in a townhouse but it's a decent size and very wide. Our dining room is almost the size of what you would find in a single family home. And, since having the kids, we just don't entertain like we used to. Now, it's essentially wasted space. If we have a family meal, it's at the kitchen table. The dining room table just sits empty.

So, I decided to move all of the kids' toys into a designated kids play area at the back of the dining room.

Work in Progress

Christopher being a "helper"

Finished view from family room

Finished View from hallway

So far, it has served the purpose of keeping the toys in the dining room and not under my feet when I'm trying to walk around in the family room.

With the toys now in their new home, it allowed us to place the Christmas tree in the corner of the family room where the toys used to live. Now we can keep an eye on it and stop the twins if they start to get curious.

It's hard to see but the "theme" of the Xmas tree is rustic. There are balsam wood stars and bells, burlap snowmen, wooden animals, patchwork stockings. And, red berry garland. Nothing is breakable, which is a good thing.

I thought the kids would show an interest in the ornaments but instead they are fascinated with the berry garland. Christopher keeps pulling off the berries and saying "Balls" and throwing them across the family room! And, this morning, Daddy said Kendall stuck a berry up her nose. Niiiicce!

On the bright side, at least the tree is still standing after 3 days.

What a 25-month old can do

2011-11-21T06:05:00.000-08:00

I love reading other blogs to see how other twins’ are developing so here’s an update on mine (in case anyone likes to read my blog for the same reason).

Kendall

• Knows every letter and will identify them out of context. We take the kids’ to the mall play area on Sunday mornings before the mall opens and we often stroll the hallways so the kids can run and get out some energy. This past weekend, Kendall stopped at a store window and started reciting the letters that were on the window.

• Can count to 1-10 in English and Spanish. She’s been counting in English for about 2 months and has even started counting on her fingers. A few weeks ago, she was in the back seat of my car and I heard what sounded like Spanish. When I started repeating the numbers, they seemed familiar to her. She must have learned it at school because it’s not something we’ve practiced at home.

• Has started saying simple sentences like “Kendall singing”, “Mommy dancing” or “Chris crying”. I put new PJs on her a few weeks ago and told her she looked cute. Now, she walks around saying, “I are cute”. Why, yes you are my little cutie!

• She still loves to color and draw. I think she’s going to be a lefty.

• Will point out the colors of things she sees. “I wear brown”, “Mommy wear pink”, “Red car”.

• Loves listening to the Wiggles. I purchased a “Best of” album for my iPhone and she asks to listen to it constantly. “Wiggles”? “Wiggles”? And, I have to admit. Some of their songs are catchy!

• She also requests an animal game that I have on my iPhone. I highly recommend it. A flashcard pops up that shows the animal, the name of the animal and it makes the sound of the animal. Both kids love it and they are learning the names of animals they would not normally see.

• Is becoming more independent. If I’m carrying her, she will say, “I walk, Mommy”!
• Her favorite foods are mac ‘n cheese and pizza. In between bites, she says, “Nummy Nummy”.

Christopher

• Has started talking much more over the last 2 months or so. He is also saying simple sentences like, “I want apple juice”. If I don’t respond as quickly as he thinks I should, he will walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator door and yell, “Mommy”!

• When the kids’ are fighting or whining, I will often say, “Enough”. Last weekend, Kendall was carrying on and crying about something. Christopher turned around with this scowl on his face, pointed his finger and said, “E-nough”!

• Loves to climb and jump. His new favorite game is to place a chair from their craft table next to the knee wall that separates our living room and dining room. He climbs over the wall and falls on the couch. We’re still trying to stop that one.

• His favorite toy right now is his football. Daddy bought him a real football a few months ago. It was a nice day yesterday so we went outside and they threw the football. Well, actually Daddy threw the football and Christopher chased it and dove on it. But, still fun for everyone.

• He’s very loving and empathetic. If Kendall is crying, he will walk over and pat her back or give her hug. He often comes over to me and says, “Lap” and then climbs up and snuggles.

• He has taken a special liking to our cat, Kisa. He often goes to the bottom of the stairs and yells, “Kisa! Treats”! When she comes downstairs, he gently pets her and lays his head on her.

• Loves to color with markers. It’s my “go to” distraction if I need to get something done.

• His favorite foods are grapes, yogurt and pancakes

And, here's my "Awww" moment for the week. We were driving to daycare last week and when I looked in my rearview mirror, I saw this:

Hamster on a wheel

2011-11-19T11:25:00.000-08:00

When people find out I'm the mother of twins, they often ask, "How do you do it"?

My answer is usually the same. "Oh, it can be challenging but it's worth it". And then I walk away and say under breath, "I don't know".

The truth is, there are many days when I feel like I don't do it. There are days when I feel like a boss, a wife, a mother, a maid, a chauffeur, a chef, a teacher, etc., etc.

There are days when I don't know if I'm coming or going. And my memory? Oh sweet Jesus, my memory.

I feel like a hamster on a wheel. I keep running and running but I'm not really getting anywhere.

I clean the house and it's trashed within an hour.
I do the laundry and the basket is full by the next day.
I cook dinner, only to be followed by rejections and requests for something else.

When I look back at my posts when the twins were 3-4 months old, I ask myself, "How did you do it"? And to be honest, it's all a blur.

It was cycles of pumping, bottles, diaper changes and sleeping. I remember thinking that I was living my life in 3 hour increments, just trying to get through the day.

Twins at age 2 has it's own set of challenges, there's no doubt about it. The demands of me physically have diminished and now it's a mental challenge.

The temper tantrums, the independence, the fighting, the sibling rivalry, the quest to be "first".

Yes, it can be enough to make any one crazy.

But, we ARE doing it. We brought these 2 wonderful little kids into this world and we will be the best parents we can be.

And, maybe, just maybe. This hamster will get somewhere some day.

PukeAPalooza

2011-11-05T18:17:00.000-07:00

Oh yes. We had stomach flu times two today.

Christopher woke up at 5:30 and immediately started dry heaving. By 7:30, he had gotten sick 4 times. Kendall woke up and seemed fine.

Until 9:30 am. And then she threw up.

Poor Christopher got sick every 45 minutes until 11:30. Thankfully Kendall only got sick the one time.

They seemed to be coming around by this evening.

Me: "Do you want to try to eat something"?
Christopher: "Yes"
Me: "Do you know what you want"?
Christopher: "Ice Cream"

That's my boy!

Twin Love

2011-11-03T16:46:00.000-07:00

Halloween - Why It's Now Bittersweet to Me

2011-10-21T18:37:00.000-07:00

Ah, Halloween. The holiday that officially welcomes Fall.

Yes, the air begins to have the first bitter chill and children's eyes light up at the prospect of baskets of sweet candy.

I love Fall. But, now it has a different meaning for me. I can't think of Halloween without thinking of the twins' first Halloween.

They had been home from the NICU for exactly 10 days. They were 4 weeks old. DH and I were still trying to figure out what the heck we were doing and barely able to see straight from the neverending cycle of bottles, diapers and 3 hours of sleep per day, if we were lucky.

October 31, 2009 started as usual but by late afternoon, Kendall became really fussy and would not stop crying. We thought it was gas but after 2 hours of not being able to calm her, we started getting worried. Could it be colick? She showed no interest in eating and the cries became more stressed. It was becoming obvious that something was wrong. Should I call the pediatrician? Are we overreacting? What if it is just gas?

She finally fell asleep around 7:00 pm and we thought we handled it. Whatever it was, it passed. It was time for their bottle at 8:00 pm and when we attempted to wake her, she was lethargic and pale. I remember standing at the changing table and thinking she looked really pale. Blue, almost.

We decided we weren't messing around anymore and that we needed to get her to the hospital. I called our neighbors to watch Christopher. It was right in the middle of H1N1 flu season and we knew we couldn't take him to the hospital. He was way too small and way too young.

We were out the door within 10 minutes. I'll never forget the drive. The hospital is about 10 minutes away and DH was weaving around cars and riding on the shoulder of the road so we didn't waste any time. I was sitting in the backseat next to Kendall with my hand on her chest to make sure she was still breathing.

We checked into the ER and they took us back within 5 minutes. The nurse asked us to undress her so they could take her weight and temperature. The thermometer read 96 degrees and we thought it was a fluke. Surely, her temperature wasn't 96 degrees?! The nurse told us she worked in the NICU for 10 years and that was a relief, considering we had just spent every day of the previous 4 weeks there.

She walked us back to the exam room and started asking what had happened. I was holding Kendall and talking to the nurse. All of the sudden DH said, "Something's wrong". Just as I looked down, the nurse grabbed Kendall from my arms and started rubbing her chest and shaking her gently. She kept saying, "Come back to us, come back baby".

Kendall had stopped breathing.

The shaking startled Kendall and her respirations started right back. Immediately, the room took on a different feel.

4 additional nurses came in the room. They moved in a warming bed, oxygen and immediately hooked her up to the monitors. They started an IV.

For most parents, I think the site of their child being hooked up to monitors, IVs and oxygen would be disturbing but oddly, hospitals were comforting to us. Juggling IV lines and monitor cords is how we got acquainted with our children for their first 3 weeks of life. It was familiar.

The doctor came in and gave us his thoughts on what was going on. He felt confident that she was battling some sort of infection. The question was -- what kind?

He wanted to be proactive and start her on antibiotics immediately. I remember him saying, "We can figure out the cause later. Right now, we need to get her started".

I'm convinced his decision saved my little girl's life.

Urinary tract infection was the frontrunner. That was a relief to hear. Easy enough to cure.

They got a urine sample and took it away to get tested. They also drew some blood.

An hour later, the nurse came back and said her urine was clear. Not a UTI.

The doctor came in and mentioned bacterial meningitis. He said we would need to do a spinal tap to be sure. He assured me it wouldn't hurt Kendall. The nerve endings in a newborn's spinal cord don't connect until after they are 10 weeks old so she wouldn't feel any pain. At the same time, it also makes the spinal cord vulnerable to infection because the column hasn't closed off yet.

30 minutes later, they were performing the spinal tap. Kendall had stablized at that point and her body temperature came back to normal. Yes, her temperature really was 96 degrees when we checked in. The nurse later explained that preemies tend to drop their temperature when they have a fever.

The nurses started talking about transferring Kendall to another hospital. One of the best on the East Coast and about an hour from our house. They started coordinating the transfer with that hospital's PICU unit.

They wanted to Life Flight her to the hospital (via helicopter) but it was raining that night and the choppers were grounded. We waited for an ambulance.

In the meantime, the results of her spinal tap came back. Spinal fluid is supposed to be sterile and it was growing bacteria.

It was meningitis. Now we needed to know what bacteria we were dealing with.

It was 2:00 am when I climbed into the ambulance with my baby. DH left to relieve our neighbors from watching Christopher around midnight. My sister was meeting me at the new hospital with an overnight bag. There was NO way I was leaving Kendall's side.

The rest of that night was horribly memorable. I never went to sleep. I just sat beside her bed, holding her hand, sobbing and praying.

After everything we had been through. The horrible delivery, 3 weeks in the NICU. How could this be happening?

She spent 2 weeks in the hospital. The doctor's weren't sure if she would suffer any long-term brain damage. Only time would tell. They did 2 extensive hearing tests that came back normal. A good sign.

My little Kendall would endure one more life threatening infection one month later that landed her in the hospital for 3 weeks. That was our first Christmas.

Two years later, she's a thriving, smart little girl. The doctor's are now confident that we caught the infection before any damage was done. She should continue to grow as a normal, healthy child.

And that is the best TREAT of all.

Farm Fun

2011-10-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

We took advantage of a fantastic fall day and ventured to a local animal park / farm. It was our first time at this farm and I'm so glad we went. The kids had a blast!

"Hello "Or See""

Kendall loved this camel - we couldn't tear her away!

Catching a glimpse of "hoppy hoppy" (bunny)

Best Friends

Parlez-vous, Toddler?

2011-10-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

I took 6 years of French in high school and college. I won't admit how many years ago that was. But, if you're an avid blogger, you'll know you can find my age in my profile.

At any rate, I don't remember much of what I learned. The old "use it or lose it" cliche.

I do remember whacky things like how to conjugate verbs. Because, you know. It's useful in every day conversation to know how to say "to remember" to any audience.   Like, duh!

You can imagine I don't fashion myself to be some superior linguist who is able to master any language within minutes.   No. I'm no Rosetta Stone user.

But, I have conquered the language of Toddler. I have cracked the code and I think I owe it to all of you to share my knowledge.

Please print this handy guide and keep it with you at all times. It makes translation so much easier when you are visiting Toddlerland as a tourist.

Toddlerism                     English Translation
ba mina                            banana

Bof fom                           Bottom (also known as rear end)

Melk                                Milk

Zooes                              Shoes

Zocks                              Socks

Woof                               Dog

Mee owwww                 Cat

I wan yellow                   I would like to color

Be air                             Bear

All wet                           You took a bath and smell nice

Or see                            Horsey

pump key                        Pumpkin

Buck key                        Buckle

Daw fee                         Coffee

Bra fur                           Brother

Where go?                     Have you seen my ?

Poon                              Spoon

Man Go                         Mango

Box                               Blocks

Bach                              Book

Air                                Hair

Please feel free to add to the list as you learn additional words in your own travels.

Je vous en prie.

October 4, 2009

2011-10-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

The day I will always remember. The day that changed my life forever. The day my beautiful children were born.

It was a Sunday and the days preceding it were "off". I worked from home that Thursday and had an appointment with the perinatologist that morning. When I got there, the ultrasound tech did her thing and said both babies looked fine. She left the room and said the doctor would be in shortly. About 5 minutes later, she came back and said he was called over to the hospital but I was welcome to wait, if I wanted. She didn't know how long he'd be gone and I had been feeling OK so I decided to come back home. The afternoon went fine but by early evening, I started having some back pain. I knew Christopher had been sitting low and thought he was probably just laying on my pelvic bone. By 8:00, the pain was uncomfortable enough for me to take a Tylenol. I also put myself on bedrest for the rest of the evening and the next day.

Friday and Saturday, I felt fine. No pain. No aches.

Sunday, around mid-morning, I started feeling like I had to pee every 5 minutes. I've had my share of UTIs and thought that I was probably getting one - although there was no pain when I did go and most times, it was just a trickle. I layed on the couch for most of the day watching football.

At 4:30, I got up to pee for oh, the 10th time that day. Again, I thought either UTI or that Christopher was sitting on my bladder. I had absolutely no idea - I've never been pregnant!

I also noticed an increase in pressure but again, I had no idea if it was normal. After all, I was carrying 40 lbs of fluid and baby. Why wouldn't there be pressure?

And then, all of the sudden, I started peeing like I hadn't gone in 6 months. After a few seconds, I thought, "This is weird" and I looked in the toilet.

Bright. red. blood.

Thank God I knew I had a partial placenta previa or else I would have FREAKED out!

I opened the door and yelled, "DH! I'm bleeding and I think my water broke. I need a pad and a ride to the hospital"!

We arrived at the hospital in 10 minutes and I explained what happened. They were very casual about the whole thing. Which I guess is good in hindsight.

If they freaked, I would have freaked more than I was. I remember the nurse just kept saying, "It's going to be OK. You're 32 weeks".

They confirmed both babies were doing fine and the doctor ordered an ultrasound to see where the blood was coming from. They also confirmed that my water was leaking.

I was starting to feel a little cramping but the doctor assured me it was normal with bleeding. It was tolerable. A 4 on a scale of 1-10.

The doctor finally said I was on immediate bedrest and that he wanted to get me to 34 weeks. Oh, and that I wasn't leaving the hospital until I had the babies. I got checked into a regular room and then the fun began.

The cramping really picked up and the back pain came back. With a vengeance. Oh, and the heartburn too. Out of my whole "labor" experience, I remember the heart burn the most.

Since I was bleeding, I had to lay flat. Which is pure torture when you have heartburn. We left the house in such a hurry that I didn't grab anything. Including my sacred Tums.

I called my sister and my mom and told them I was admitted to the hospital and that I thought I was in labor but the doctor thought the contractions would taper off as the bleeding stopped.

After an hour, the contractions were picking up. The nurse came in and looked at the tape and asked if I was feeling them. I said, "yeah" as I squirmed in the bed and she said, "You're really cranking those out - every minute or so".   And then she said she was going to call the doctor because it was obvious they weren't going away.

10 minutes later, she said they were prepping the ER for an emergency c-section.

The c-section started normally. I got the epidural and some medicine for the heart burn (finally!). The kids were born without incident - both cried immediately.

I thought everything was fine until I heard the doctor say, "I need a mop, my hysterectomy kit and 2 units of blood".   It still didn't register with me. I thought he just needed something out of this kit, like a tool?

And then I heard the nurse tell DH that he needed to go with her. I didn't really think anything of it because I thought it was procedure for him to leave with the babies.

Finally, I asked the anesthesiologist (because he was the only one I could see) if I was having a hysterectomy. He politely replied, "Yes, you've had a complication".

From here on out, it was organized chaos. Everyone remained calm but I could tell there was definitely a sense of urgency. Another team was pulled off another c-section to assist. Suddenly, there were double the people in the room.

I heard the doctor ask for 2 more units of blood. At this point, I was still aware of what was happening but starting to feel funny. I was shaking uncontrollably and started feeling really, really sleepy. I also got really cold.

I heard the anesthesiologist say, "Her blood pressure is 80/30" and then he ordered 4 more medications.

I don't really remember much after that. I'm pretty sure I passed out for a period of time. When I came to, I was still on the operating table and they were counting all of the instruments to make sure they recovered all of them. I still don't know how long I was actually in the operating room but I suspect it was over 2 hours.

I was in recovery for another 2 hours and then finally moved to a room where I could see DH. He assured me the babies were fine and showed me their first pictures.

Christopher was born at 11:00 pm weighing 4 lbs 7 oz. Kendall was born at 11:01 pm weighing 3 lbs 15 oz.

I received 4 units of blood throughout the night and wasn't allowed to get up to see the babies until 6:30 Monday night.

It wasn't until the next day that I realized the severity of the delivery. The doctor came in to see me and apologized for doing the hysterectomy but said, "I had to do it to save your life".   He told me I hemorrhaged when he attempted to remove one of the placentas and lost 1/2 of my total blood volume in 20 minutes. I almost bled to death.

Wow.

Here we are 2 years later and I'm thankful every day for the blessings I have. They have filled my heart with more joy than I could ever imagine.

Happy Birthday my babies. I love you.

2nd Birthday Party - Sesame Style

2011-10-02T16:42:00.000-07:00

We had the twins' 2nd birthday party today. You might remember in one of my last posts that I was kicking myself for not reserving the picnic pavilion at our local park.

Now, I'm glad I didn't waste the $80. The weather turned bitterly cold yesterday and continued into today. It was 45 degrees this morning. And, rainy..... again.

So, all 21 members of our immediate family piled into our townhouse. And you know what?

It was OK!

I started alot of the prep work last night and thankfully my MIL came over and stayed the night. We were up until 11:30 last night blowing up balloons, hanging streamers and just trying to make things look as cute as we could.

The twins were excited when they heard their cousins were coming to see them.

So excited that they both fell asleep about 30 minutes before our guests arrived.

Everyone arrived around 11:00 am. And, it quickly became a full house.

The play kitchen from Mom Mom and Pop Pop was big hit for all ages!

We had some munchies to snack on until the pizza came. Keeping with the Sesame Street theme, we had chocolate chip cookies, Dorothy the Goldfish crackers and pretzels.

We even put the Dorothy crackers in a fish bowl!

And, of course cupcakes! An acquaintance from high school started her own cupcake business in honor of her best friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. All of the proceeds go toward cancer patients and their families.

Aren't they awesome?

They were delish!

The twins got some great gifts including Elmo's Sesame Street guitar, Elmo's Learning ABC blocks, a Thomas the Train starter set, a princess dress up costume, Doodle pads, Legos and a lot more!

It was a long and somewhat exhausting day but the kids had a blast and that's all that matters.

Yellow Buses

2011-09-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

The kids’ daycare is about 20 minutes from our house. Most mornings are uneventful because the kids are still half asleep.

The afternoons are a different story. I suppose it’s a good thing they don’t want to leave daycare because they love it so much. Not such a good thing for Mommy when I have to fight with them every afternoon.

Yes, I have carried both of them, at different times, to the car kicking and screaming. Literally.

(The kids were kicking and screaming. Not me).

So, I invented a game. We have a book at home called “Let’s Go” and each page has different things that “go”.

Seems like an appropriate title for the book, no?

They have become fascinated with buses. Yellow buses to be specific.

So, everyday we look for buses on the way home. And, now I have created bus fiends. As soon as we get in the car, they both start:

“Yellow bus”?
“Please”?
“Bus, Mommy”

Most days, we see at least 4 or 5 on the way home. And the kids clap and yell with pure glee. I am suddenly the most amazing mommy e-ver!

If one of the kids spots a bus first, we all give each other high fives. It’s quite a scene when I’m reaching behind the driver’s seat to blindly slap a hand.

And, if we don’t see any buses, I have a Plan B. After all, if the kids don’t get their bus fix for the afternoon, there’s a very good chance they’ll take over the car and we’ll veer off the road into a ditch. Hey, it could happen.

The out of service buses for the county are parked at the middle school around the corner from our house. I told the kids that’s where the buses “sleep”. So, if we don’t see any buses, we drive past the parking lot and quietly drive through as the buses get their zzzz’s.

One day last week, we were about ½ way home and we hadn’t seen any buses yet. I started to panic because the kids were getting restless and begging for me to find a bus. I started calling the buses.

“Bu-us? Where are youuuuu”?

And, the kids started calling them.

“Bus? Are youuuuu”?

As if that will help? Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Finally, Christopher says, “Bus night night?” and then he started snoring. Seriously, the cutest thing ever.

Birthday Decorations

2011-09-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

I've been a busy girl. Here are some of the decorations that I made for the twins' birthday party in October.

What do you think?

Birthday Countdown

2011-09-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

The twins' 2nd birthday is coming up soon and I can't believe it. I started researching ideas a few months ago.

I knew I didn't want to have it at our house again. We live in a fairly spacious townhouse but I've learned very quickly that it becomes the Incredible Shrinking House when we entertain. Here's a scene from last year's celebration.

Pure chaos. The twins and I are in there somewhere:

I finally figured out the perfect venue. There is a county park around the corner from our house and we love to go there. It has 5 age appropriate playsets and the kids love it. My nieces range in age from 3 to 10 so I needed something that would entertain everyone. There is a picnic pavilion nearby so I planned to keep it simple with pizza and cupcakes.

Aside from the convenience, I needed to keep it budget friendly. With the kids' in daycare full-time, we've really had to budget our money and make wise choices. The pavilion rental was only $79 for 6 hours and the playground is free. And, I'm keeping it to family only.

Perfect.

I printed off the rental agreement for the pavilion back in June. I figured I had plenty of time because it was well, June.

And besides. We go to that park at least twice per month and the pavilion is ALWAYS empty.

Yeah. You know where this is going, don't you?

At the same time, I started researching birthday invitations. The kids absolutely love Sesame Street so I knew the theme. I found a really cute template on Etsy and almost purchased it for $20.

Then my frugal side kicked in and I thought I could make it myself. So I did.

I finally called to reserve the pavilion this week and damn if it isn't booked. Not only for the day that I wanted but for the following Saturday as well.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

I was at work when I called and of course, I immediately went into panic mode. Now what?!

The thoughts that went through my head were pretty comical..... and unrealistic.

In the end, I compromised and I really hope it works out. I'm going to have everyone meet us at the playground from 10:30-11:30 and then we'll come back to our house for pizza and cupcakes.

I'm not happy about having 21 adults/kids in my house because it's what I wanted to avoid but at least I'm minimizing the length of time that we're bumping into each other.

And, thank God I didn't pay for the invitation because now I can change the wording to read the new plan.

Here's my custom, self-made invitation (with personal information hidden):

Temper Temper

2011-09-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know what happened to my sweet little boy.

Someone has replaced him with a screaming, kicking, hot-headed mess.

Both kids started with the "Terrible Twos" around 18 months so we've experienced temper tantrums with both of them.

Kendall is my drama queen, pure and simple. She'll start crying over something and you can tell that she's over it within a few minutes but she continues to "fake cry" for another 10 minutes. Looking over her shoulder the whole time to see if I'm watching.

Christopher is definitely quicker to throw a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants but he was also easier to calm down.

Until the last week.

When he doesn't get his way, he has started throwing himself down on the ground, kicking and screaming with face bright red. He would usually allow me to come over and hug him and that would calm him down but something has changed.

He has turned into the Incredible Hulk. Yes, sometimes he does rip his clothes off.

I'm really hoping it's just another phase of toddlerhood.

On the brightside, it will make his Halloween costume easy.

Don't Quit Your Day Job

2011-09-02T18:32:00.000-07:00

I was singing to the twins on the way home tonight.

Kendall, "No, Mommy"!

Me: "Do I really sound that bad"?

Christopher: "Yes".

In other news, Christopher has reverted back to being 6 months old by waking up at 4:30 every day this week.

I think Monday and Tuesday mornings were because I had the AC hiked up to 77 and their bedroom was the temperature of Mercury.

Tuesday night, Christopher refused to put his PJs on and wanted to sleep in his diaper. I got the hint and turned the AC back on.

Wednesday morning, I think he woke up because their bedroom had accumulated icicles from the AC being back on. I guess sleeping mostly naked in a diaper with the AC isn't very comfortable.

This morning, he insisted on coming downstairs and once I tried to get him settled on the couch with me, he announced "Poo Poo".

I'm thinking we'll probably have to do some sleep training in the mornings now. With the kids sharing a room, there's a very fine line of letting him cry it out and settling himself back down and risking having 2 kids awake instead of 1.

Stupid toddler beds....

Tempting Mommy

2011-08-29T08:12:00.000-07:00

It's been 2 weeks since the twins converted to toddler beds and I've made a decision.

I want my babies back!

Overall, they have transitioned fairly well. They are still really excited about the beds which I'm happy about.

What I'm not happy about is the additional hour it's taking to get them to sleep. They can be practically falling asleep on the couch and as soon as they hit their bedroom door, they are suddenly rejuvenated.

The newest game is called "Tempting Mommy". Here's how you play:

Lay in bed and pretend like you are going to sleep
When mommy leaves the room, quickly get out of bed and run around the room
When mommy returns to the room, squeal and giggle and run back to bed
If mommy decides to stay in the room, quietly put one foot on the floor and watch her to see if she will react. If she does react, quickly get back in bed and go back to step 1.
If mommy yells, "Get back in bed!", she doesn't mean it. If you laugh at her, she gets even madder and that's really funny
If Daddy comes in to the room, he means business and you must act like you are going to sleep until he leaves. Once he leaves, get out of bed because mommy will come back in and then the game begins again.

I'm also realizing that Kendall takes much, much longer to settle down. Here's a typical pre-sleep routine with her:

Lay head on pillow and then pop up and say, "Ut Oh" because the blanket "fell off"
Do this at least 5 times
Say hi and/or night night to every stuffed animal in the bed and as you name them, kiss each of them

Hi Elmo,
Hi Baaa,
Hi Un-key (monkey),
Hi Woof,
Hi Minnie Mouse,

After saying hi and/or night night, throw each animal off the bed and say "Ut Oh"

It's NOT an Ut Oh if you do it on purpose!
This is usually where I start to lose my cool

Get out of bed and put each animal back in bed
Start singing
Start fluffing pillow

Do this at least 10 times

You get the picture.

Once they are asleep, they have been staying in bed all night. Although, for some reason, they are getting up earlier. As in 5:00 am earlier. Yuck!

Christopher is usually the first one up and he doesn't like to party alone. If we don't get in the room and grab him, he'll go over to Kendall.

"Dendall! Dendall!"

I was asked if I've thought about splitting them up and putting them in different rooms. Eventually, I think we'll have to. I guess part of me feels guilty for doing it. They didn't get to spend a lot of time together for their first 3 months and sometimes I wonder if they lost some bonding time.

I was convinced they hated each other for the first 6 months. Every time I positioned them next to each other, Kendall would cry.

And, I don't think Christopher would do well in a bedroom by himself just yet. He's much more clingy and he's starting to ask for her when they are apart.

"Where Dendall?"

I guess my plan is to let them decide when it's time to seperate. I found one idea that suggested asking them every year before their birthday. I like that idea.

I like the idea of an easy bedtime even better.

Toddler Bed Update - We're All In

2011-08-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

We made the conversion. I stayed home on Friday and got the room ready. The whole process was bittersweet. On one hand, I was really excited to get the room done so I could see the kids' faces. And, I'm so proud of them for hitting this milestone.

But, it made me sad too. As I tore down the cribs, I couldn't help but think about everything we've been through so far. The first time they slept in the cribs, the first time they pulled up and I found them standing, the excitement of picking out the cribs when I was still pregnant. I got a little teary eyed. I guess, in a way, I was letting go of my "babies".

Here's the bedding that I decided on. Kendall's is on the left and has red & yellow dots and Chris' is on the right with navy and light blue dots. I'm so happy with it and it goes perfectly with the room decor so I didn't have to change a thing!

I brought the kids home from school and immediately took them up to the room. I've been talking to them about their "big kid beds" for almost 2 weeks but I wasn't really getting any reaction so I didn't know if they understood what would happen.

When they walked in, their faces lit up and they both ran to their beds and jumped in! They were SO excited. I let them play for about 15 minutes and they just kept climbing in and out of their beds and then they would run to the other bed and climb in and look at each other. Oh, and the giggling!

I told them we had to go back downstairs for dinner but they didn't want to leave their room. I finally got them down the stairs and for the rest of the evening, they both kept saying "Night night?".

When bedtime finally came, we stuck to our normal routine and took them up about 30 minutes early. It took an extra hour before they finally settled down. They were so excited and just did not want to lay down. By 8:30, they were both asleep. I didn't know what to expect but was prepared for a restless night.

At 9:30, Kendall woke up screaming. When I got to their room, she was sitting in bed. I don't know if she had a bad dream or woke up and didn't know where she was but she was so scared. I got her calmed down after 10 minutes but wasn't sure if she would want to get back in bed. I walked over and asked if she was ready and my little trooper said "yes" in her little girl voice and went back to sleep in her big girl bed.

At 11:30, Christopher woke up. DH got him and 10 minutes later, he was back to sleep in his big boy bed.

They both woke up at 5:30 yesterday morning which is a little earlier than normal.

Round 2 happened yesterday at naptime and that didn't go quite as well. 2 attempts and we only got a 40 minute nap squeezed in before leaving for their cousin's birthday party. They just wouldn't stay in the beds.

The kids fell asleep on the way home last night and I knew they'd be exhausted so we put them in their PJs before we got in the car. Easy transfer to the beds and they were out!

Christopher did wake up at 4:00 this morning and DH got up with him. At 6:00, I looked at the monitor and saw DH laying on the floor between the beds. He said it was the only way he could get Chris to sleep.

Naptime today happened at 11:30am and it only took about 10 minutes. I was able to tuck them in and leave the room this time without them getting out of the beds at all.

I think we're making progress. Let's hope it continues and we get a good night's sleep before work and school tomorrow.

Here's some pics of the finished room. I took them with my iPhone so the quality isn't great:

And, since it's been awhile. Here's some pics of my "big kids":

A Much Needed Break

2011-08-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

DH and I just had our first weekend alone in TWO years. Yep, that's right. We haven't taken any time for ourselves since having the twins and it was greatly needed.

I can count the number of date nights we've had on one hand. It was never intentional to neglect each other. It just happened. Days and weeks go by and before you realize it, you're in a pattern of the daily rut.

We initially had plans to go to my parents beach house but neither of us could take Friday off and the 4-hour trip didn't seem worth it for what would essentially be one day. We talked about taking a day trip somewhere but in the end, we decided to stay home.

We dropped the kids off at my BIL and SIL's house yesterday morning at 10:00 am. DH came home and took a 3-hour nap. He was in heaven!

I, on the other hand, decided to rearrange the kids bedroom to prep for our toddler bed transition next weekend. I know that sounds like work but I LOVE to decorate and I was looking forward to it all week.

We went to dinner last night and then went and played pool and had drinks. Before kids, we both really enjoyed playing pool. I quickly realized that without practice, I'm not as good as I used to be.

We were back home by 11 because well, let's face it. We are old now. I didn't have a ton to drink but it was enough and I started feeling a little drunk. Better to get home before that turned ugly.

Nobody wants to see a 41 year old woman dancing on a pool table.

I'm really realizing my age today with a headache from hell. Damn! I'm a lightweight now!

While it was nice to have the time to ourselves, I am counting the minutes until we pick up the kids. The house is too quiet. I miss their hugs and kisses. I missed not tucking them in last night. Instead of sleeping in, I woke up at 6:00 am waiting for one of the kids to call out to me to let me know they were awake.

Yes, it was nice to be childless for a weekend. But, I never want to trade my life now for anything.

Together or Separate?

2011-08-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

The big toddler bed debate has brought on another dilemma.

To separate or not to separate?

We have a spare room that we're using as a storage room/office. It would be easy enough to clean out and it's already painted in a grayish-blue color so it would work for Christopher.

For the most part, they are still OK being in the same room. They play and talk before going to sleep but they don't really keep each other up. BUT, I am afraid they will get out of their toddler beds and start to wake each other up once we make the transition.

By giving them their own rooms, I'm giving them an opportunity to have some individualism and independence. But, I'm also taking away a support system and comfort.

I'm so torn...

Mommies of twins - are your twins still in the same room and if not, when did you separate them? Did the kids have any separation issues when you did split them up?

Operation Nursery Makeover - Do You Accept the Challenge?

2011-08-08T05:11:00.000-07:00

It's time.

Time to make the move.

To toddler beds.

Christopher is still climbing out; although he seems like he's starting to understand that he's supposed to stay in the bed.

Kendall still hasn't scaled the side but she's trying and since she has my coordination, it's only a matter of time before she falls on her head.

2 weekends ago, I decided to convert the cribs into daybeds by taking the fronts off. But, I quickly realized that the front is all one piece and when I took it off, I also took the front legs of the crib off.

I called down to DH and asked if there were any parts leftover when we put the cribs together and he said no. WTH?!

After doing some research on-line, I realized we should have purchased a toddler conversion kit that included the guard rail and 2 posts. It would have been nice if Babies R Us told us that when we bought them 2 years ago.

It's still possible to place a special order but it takes up to 3 months for it to come in. Not wanting to wait that long, we bought 2 toddler beds and we'll just store the cribs until the twins are ready for twin beds.

So, that takes me to my dilemma. I need to buy new bedding. I still want to keep the kids in the same room so it needs to be as unisex as possible. Ideally, I would love to find boy/girl coordinating bedding that matches (like stripes and polka dots).

Here's the nursery colors now. The walls are Granny Smith apple and the bedding is light blue, green and brown.

I found this set at Target and it would match perfectly but it's a little too boyish for Kendall. I'd love to find a girly pattern with the same colors that would match.
http://www.target.com/DwellStudio-Target-Dot-Blue-Toddler/dp/B0042F2NPY/ref=br_1_17?ie=UTF8&id=DwellStudio%20Target%20Dot%20Blue%20Toddler&node=16313661&searchSize=30&searchView=list&searchPage=1&sr=1-17&qid=1312805050&rh=&searchBinNameList=target_com_category-bin%2Ctarget_com_gender-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Cnumber_of_pieces%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_character-bin%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin%2Cpattern_name-bin&searchRank=salesrank&frombrowse=1

Here's your mission....

Can you find something for Kendall? Or, find something else for both that matches the current room colors?

The Great Escape

2011-07-29T06:32:00.000-07:00

We hit a milestone yesterday morning. One that I started to think wouldn't be an issue because it hadn't happened yet.

My little man has conquered the crib.

We had tickets to a baseball game yesterday so I tried to put them down for a nap in the morning before we left. It's not unusual for them to play a little before finally settling down. Christopher got quiet so I assumed he laid down and went to sleep. Then I heard Kendall start to fuss. That turned into crying and calling my name. When I looked at the monitor, she had her right leg slung over the front rail of the crib and she was teetering on the top - half in the crib and half over the side. I ran in to get her and Christopher met me at the bedroom door.

Since then, Christopher has climbed out of the crib 6 times. Going to bed last night was a disaster. He climbed out every time we left the room. Once he finally fell asleep, he stayed in the crib but I kept waking up all night to look at the monitor to make sure he was still there. We put a baby gate in the doorway but I'm still super paranoid about him having "free range" in the bedroom. They don't really play in there so I don't know the danger zones yet. For the most part, it appears to be baby proofed but who knows?

So, does this mean we convert to toddler beds? I knew this day would come but before they turn 2? The whole thing makes me sad. Being in their cribs means they are still my babies. Being in beds means they are kids. Big kids. :(

Any advice??

STOP! Hamma Time!

2011-07-18T16:58:00.000-07:00

So, I think I guaranteed a spot for Mother of the Year this weekend.

Over the last 2 weeks or so, I noticed the kids' shoes were starting to get a little tight. At least once per week, I would do the "push the toe in" test to see how much room was left. For the most part, they still seemed like they had room but they were getting tight across their foot.

We took a trip to Stride Rite on Saturday and I told the clerk they were currently wearing size 4.5 but I wanted to measure their feet because I thought they were probably a 1/2 size too small.

Maybe a whole size, at the most.

Yeeeaaah.  W-R-O-N-G!

They both needed a size SIX!  I think my jaw literally dropped when I saw the measurer thing.

How horrible am I? My poor kids have been walking around with their toes all scrunched up in their shoes.

My kids are gonna have HAMMER TIME!

It's no wonder they take their shoes off as soon as we get in the car! I always hear them saying "Not nice" in the back seat and now I think they are saying it to ME!

"Can you believe this, Christopher? This lady just won't buy us new shoes. Man, this sucks. We're trying to run around the playground and look! I have corns!"

"You're tellin' me Kendall. NOT NICE"!

First Haircut

2011-07-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

Christopher and I are having a Mommy & Son day today. He had an upset tummy yesterday at daycare (3 loose stools) and their rule is that the child can't return for 24 hours. He's fine so I think it's something he ate.

Like, maybe the 3 bowls of yogurt?!

You may have noticed from my last post that his hair was starting to get that 1970's look.

Now, Don't get me wrong.

I get retro.

And, I get Justin Bieber..... sort of.

But, my son? Nope. He won't be sporting that Austin Powers look as long as I have a say.

So, we ventured to Cartoon Cuts this morning. And, Mr. Man did great. He wouldn't sit in the chair by himself but he did just fine on my lap.

(Sorry for the picture orientation. I can't get it to upload correctly).

Such a big boy now!

Beach Vacation

2011-07-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

We went to the beach for a few days over 4th of July weekend. My parents bought a house just outside of the Outer Banks, NC and I have to say, it was awfully nice to not have to pay to rent a place this year. My sister, BIL and their 2 kids as well as my step brother and his fiancee also came down.

It was a full house with 4 kids under the age of 4!

The kids did great on the car ride down. We only had to stop for lunch and still made it within 5 hours. We got there around 2:30 pm and immediately changed into our bathing suits so we could enjoy the pool.

I was hoping the kids' attitude toward water would change but nope. Both were pretty apprehensive. Kendall tends to be the more adventurous one and she started to relax after about 10 minutes. Christopher, on the other hand, clung to my husband like there were sharks in the water.

We ventured to the beach on Saturday and man, was it hot! Poor Kendall still doesn't like the sand on her feet. She would not move off the blanket for anything.

Christopher took right to the sand again and had a great time playing.

"Oh, now I have a snack cup and everything is just fine".

It was close to 90 degrees that day and I was worried about the kids getting too hot so we only stayed about 3 hours. It was even unbearable sitting under the umbrella.

On the 4th, we took the kids to a local playground so they could get some exercise.

That night, we let the kids play with glow sticks as their "fireworks". This is Chris playing with his older cousin.

Hoping everyone is having a wonderful summer so far!

Aarrrghh, matey!

2011-06-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

(I couldn’t make this up, even if I wanted to).

One morning, a few months ago, we were finishing up our morning routine before heading out the door for work/daycare.

I was putting my daughter’s shoes on and heard my son in the dining room. I knew he was in the dining room because both kids like to play with the handles on the china cabinet.

After all, the handles do clink and jiggle. And who doesn’t like things that clink and jiggle, for cryin’ out loud?

I didn’t think anything of it because they play with the handles all of the time.

And, the kids were too short to open the drawers. Plus, the drawers are super heavy because I have them stuffed with our good utensils.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my son running out of the dining room, toward me. And, then passing me and heading toward the front door.

He was running like a pirate, with one hand straight up in the air.

And, he was holding something.

Again, not alarming because they are always holding something.

You know. Like, my bra, my shoes, the TV remote. You name it. They hold it.

It took me a minute to focus and to comprehend what the item was.

OH MY GOD!

He was running with a 6 inch butcher knife in his hand.

No lie!

I immediately ran after him and tried to grab his hand so I wouldn’t grab the blade. He spun around like a character from a karate movie and aimed the knife at me.

“Whoa, buddy! Mommy doesn’t want to go down like that!”

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. And, I couldn't believe that it was happening with me standing right there!
Thankfully, I was able to grab the knife and lesson learned.

The drawers are now empty.

Fathers Day Weekend

2011-06-20T07:10:00.000-07:00

This was technically hubby's 3rd Father's Day since we got pregnant.

We started the weekend with a little splish splashing in the kiddie pool .

And, then we went to the park. The kids LOVE to swing and slide.

This is one of my favorite photos from the day. They are truly BFFs:

Sunday, we went to my BIL house and spent the day with my husband's family. The kids had a blast playing with their cousins and were so exhausted when we got home.

The weekend also brought some new words from the kids. Christopher started saying "Dot dice" (not nice) and "Stop It" while shaking his finger. At least the kid knows when stuff bothers him, I guess. Kendall now knows 2 colors (yellow and purple) and I think she's up to 50 words in her repertoire.

What to do when your 20 month old twins are smarter than you

2011-06-07T11:19:00.000-07:00

I never thought it would happen this soon.

I’ve suspected it for the last few months but it became apparent this past weekend.

My kids are smarter than me.

(You’re probably thinking, “Duh”! After all, they did outsmart me by locking me out of the house last week). Look below for that post.

My kids began learning sign language in their daycare as soon as they started in January. Something, I’m guessing, that is probably done in a lot of daycares. After a few weeks, they started using the signs at home. I quickly realized I was ill equipped so I briefly brushed up on some of the more common signs like “More”, “All Done” and “Please”.

I delighted in the fact that I was being a good mom. A smart mom.

How smart am I that I can now communicate with my kids? I learned sign language (albeit 3 signs, by hey! It’s more than I knew last year)!

Saturday, I was putting the kids down for a nap and out of the blue, Kendall started saying “Daddy” and put her thumb to her forehead with her fingers extended. And then she said “Mommy” and put her thumb to her chin with her fingers extended. She did it several times and I thought to myself, “Are those the signs for mommy and daddy”?

After I left their room, I went straight to the computer and looked it up. Sure enough, she was signing!

And, I felt like an idiot. My 20 month old knows more than I do!

Kendall easily has 30 actual words in her vocabulary now. Those are the legible ones – I’m sure she has more that I just can’t understand. Christopher is not quite as linguistic (he’s more concerned with tackling the cat and jumping from the ottoman to the couch. Who has time for stupid words)?

(By the way, don’t you hate not understanding the “jibberish”? The kids will be talking to me and all I can do is shake my head and say, “Uh huh”. And, they look at me like they are thinking, “Look stupid. The question wasn’t a yes/no question. I require the answer to be in full essay form so I can gauge your comprehension”).

Then, I started to freak out a little. What if the kids have been talking to us the whole time and we’re too stupid to understand because we don’t know sign language?

What if she’s telling me she wants to be a doctor and I’m across the room eagerly waving back at her saying “Goodbye to you too”.

During the weekend, I also noticed that Kendall kept repeating what sounded like “Abbo”. I thought she already knew “apple” because she says that when she sees a picture of one. Is she saying “apple” and I’m misunderstanding?

What in the world is she saying?!

I asked the teacher when I picked them up Monday afternoon and she said, “Oh, she’s saying sapo. It’s Spanish for frog. I sing a song about sapo”.

Just like that, the teacher knew. And, I didn’t.

Stupid mommy. Now my kids know Spanish too?!

The 6 years of French that I took isn’t looking like a smart idea right about now.

I’ll be signing up for Toddler 101 in the fall so I can be as smart as my twins!

Ohhhhhpen the door!

2011-06-01T11:52:00.000-07:00

We keep a pretty tight schedule in the morning.
DH gets the kids up at 5:10 am while I jump in the shower.
He feeds them breakfast and gets them dressed while I get ready for work.
And, 3 times per week, he goes to the gym at 6:00 am.
Between 6 and 6:30, I finish getting ready, pack my lunch, make my coffee and we’re out the door no later than 6:40.

Sounds pretty routine, right? It is.

Until this morning.

I always take my stuff to the car first (purse, laptop, supplies for daycare) and then come back in the house to get the kids.

I did the same thing this morning. Except, when I tried to come back in the house, the storm door was locked.

With both kids staring at me through the glass.

I kept pulling on the door hoping, just hoping, that maybe it was stuck?

“Oh, who am I kidding? The damn door isn’t stuck. One of the kids just locked me out of the house”!

Christopher! Turn the lock. Tuuuuurrn the looooccckkkk. C’mon buddy. Be a smart boy! Just reach up and turn the lock.

Kendall! Open the door, sweetie! Ohhhhpen the dooorrrrrrr.

My mind starts racing.

My neighbor has a key but not to the storm door.
Are there any other doors open? No, of course not because I just walked through to make sure everything was locked.
If I call DH, will he answer his phone? Probably not. Who carries a cell phone with them when they are at the gym?

OK. Worst case, DH will be home in 30 minutes. Oh good God! Can I really sit on the front porch for 30 minutes and watch the twins destroy the house without being able to do anything about it?

Meanwhile, the twins are getting restless. Christopher is just staring at me, nose pressed against the glass with this look like, “What in the world are you doing? Why aren’t you coming inside”?

Kendall is getting upset and starts crying. She doesn’t understand why I’m playing this game.

“Stop your crying”, I snap. “I’m the one that’s locked out!”

Ok, think Suzanne. Think.

I look at the kitchen window. It’s a box window and the bottom of it sits just above my waist. I know the one storm window doesn’t quite lock all the way. I wonder if I can pry it open from the outside?

I worked my fingers around the edge and one corner starts to give a little.

And, then I pry it open just enough to get my fingers in. And, WHA LA!

It slides up and I’m staring at an open window!

OK, that’s great but, how am I going to climb in? I looked around the front yard and briefly thought about pulling my car into the front yard so I could stand on it.

Because THAT wouldn’t attract ANY attention.

Finally, I see a flower pot. The flower pot that I totally wanted to plant flowers in but instead, it’s growing a nice, lush clumping of weeds.

I flipped it over and tried to stand on it. Well, teter is a better word.

Like a circus bear on the high wire.

And then I think to myself, “Really? You pick TODAY to wear white pants”? Seriously.

I fling my left leg over the window frame and for about 10 seconds, I’m standing there straddling the window.

I can’t believe I’m doing this right now.

I’m able to touch the kitchen floor and I hoist myself up and into the kitchen.

Tah Dah! And for my next trick…..

And, just like that, we’re back on schedule and in the car by 6:45.

Don’t mess with a Mama of twins. We know how to keep things rolling without missing a beat!

Am I Too Cool For A Mini Van?

2011-05-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a normal, middle class family. We weren’t rich but I always had everything I needed. We lived in a nice, colonial-style house with 5 bedrooms and 3 baths. It was a nice house.

Our family cars on the other hand? Not so much.

My parents always seemed to buy cars that were THE most embarrassing. The first was a white Pinto. It was a fun car at first. Until I was old enough to understand the countrywide recall.

Oh, c’mon. You remember! The one that said Pinto’s can catch on fire if hit from behind?

Ooh yeah. Between the ages of 7 and 10, I was terrified to ride in the backseat. Thankfully, my younger sister joined the family and we outgrew that piece of crap.

So, my parents upgraded. To a Cavalier station wagon. Seriously.

And, at first that was a fun car because what kid doesn’t like to ride all the way in the back without any type of restraining device?

Then I realized that a station wagon wasn’t a cool car. And, all of my friends’ families had cool cars. Like sedans.

What isn’t cool about a 4-door sedan?

I endured the embarrassment of the station wagon for years. And then I got my learners permit and, the station wagon was the only car I had to drive.

Any hint of cool that I had as a young, naïve 16 year old was completely sucked out the window.

And, then, as if it couldn’t get any worse. It did. I remember the day with such vivid detail. I had just graduated from high school and was returning from beach week. I got home and no one was there. I waited and waited for hours.

Finally, my mom, dad and sister came walking through the door and they announced they had a surprise outside. Really?! My mind started racing.

I just graduated from high school. What could the surprise be? Could it be a car?!

I eagerly walked outside and my mouth literally dropped.

Sitting in the driveway was a brand new, shiny, bright red…..

Mini van!

Oh, I kid you not! Out with the station wagon and in with the mini van.

From that day forward, I vowed I would never, ever own a mini van. Ev-er. I would always own cool cars that my kids wouldn’t be embarrassed by.

My husband would kid me and ask hypothetical questions like, “What about when we have kids? Will you get one then”?

He wouldn’t even have the complete sentence out of his mouth before I would respond “Hell NO! I will make do with my very cool Ford Escape”.

Fast forward to now. I’m still driving my very cool Ford Escape. And, I still love it. And, it’s working. For the most part.

I drop off and pick up the kids from daycare and this is the area where I struggle the most. In the mornings, I get Kendall out of her car seat first and put her in the driver’s seat while I get Christopher out. It works.

In the afternoons, they have both decided they want to WALK to the car. If I attempt to carry one, they squirm to the point of me almost dropping them. And, if I try to hold their hand, they drop to the ground like they were just shot and refuse to walk.

The daycare parking lot isn’t super busy because it’s exclusive to the daycare but, it’s busy enough. Every day, it’s a test to see how quickly I can get the kids pointed in the direction of the car and actually make it there.

Most days, we make it. And then my go-to move is to put Christopher in the driver’s seat while I get Kendall in her car seat.

We’ve been playing this game for the last 3 months. And then one day, something changed.

I was putting Kendall in her car seat and a mini van pulled up beside us. Nothing new because hello? Mini vans are everywhere.

It was like everything was in slow motion. The mom jumped out and went into the daycare. I was aware of Christopher in the front seat playing with every knob and handle. I was aware of trying to negotiate the car door while straining to maneuver Kendall into her seat.

And, then I saw it. The magic of the mini van.

The mom came bouncing out of the daycare with her 2 kids, hit a button and the side door popped open.

And, her 2 kids ran right into the car! Right into the car, I tell ya!

And! And! She had enough room to actually get in the car to stand in front of the car seat so she could comfortably place her child in the seat without straining her arms, neck and back.

It was a like a dream sequence and I swear the mini van had a halo-ish glow around it.

Honk! Honk! Honnnnnk!

And, just like that, I was brought back to reality by the sound of my son pounding on the car horn.

Oh my God! Was I really just in awe of a (gulp)… mini van?!

I kept the incident silent for weeks and kept telling myself the feeling would pass. But, as I drove around, I found myself longingly watching the mini vans as they passed me on the road. Could it be? Have I reached that point where practicality overrules being cool?

It’s been a few months since all of this happened and I’m still not a mini van owner. The 16 year old in me still has a voice and it’s screaming “You’re still cool! You’re still cool”!

The Bug from Hell and First Stitches

2011-05-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

Oh boy, did last weekend suck. There was a stomach bug going around daycare that hit both of my kids about a week apart.

Friday
I picked the kids up from daycare at the normal time and the teacher told me that Kendall had just gotten sick for the 2nd time. She woke up from her nap with a deep sounding cough and the teacher thought she might have gotten sick from that. It takes about 25 minutes to get home and I tried to go as fast as I could. No luck. Kendall threw up twice more in the car. All down the front of her, all over the car seat. Gross.

That night, I kept her in bed with me because the cough started sounding croupy. She didn't vomit any more that night.

Saturday
Our pediatrician's office has emergency Saturday morning hrs so I got her an appt at 8:20. The doctor said her airway sounded OK but prescribed 2 inhalers and an antibiotic because there was some fluid started to accumulate in her right ear.

She started to have a little bit of an appetite so I let her have some yogurt. Big mistake. That all came back up. All over Daddy.

Sunday
Cough started sounding a little better and no vomit all day. We kept the diet pretty bland with toast and rice. I thought we were in the clear until bedtime. I was washing my face and heard her cough and then gag. But the time I got in there, she had already vomited all over her bed. I grabbed her and started heading downstairs when the rest of it came up. All down my shirt and in my bra. So disgusting!

Monday
Kept her home from daycare and decided to let her have a little milk around 11:00 am since she didn't vomit the rest of the night. Big mistake #2 and vomit all over mommy again.

The weird thing about the bug is that she seemed to feel fine other than vomiting. She was playing and never had a fever. I decided to chance an errand and we went to Target around noon. Got in and out without any incident.

And, then she got sick again in the car ride home. All down the front of her and all over the car seat. Again.

We got home and I cleaned her and the car up and started putting some of the stuff away that we bought. She came into the kitchen riding their little riding toy car. I had my back turned and heard it fall over but that happens all of the time. And, then she started crying. When I turned around, she was laying face down with her butt in the air and straddling the front of the car. I picked her up and didn't see any blood, checking her mouth and teeth.

We started walking out into the living room and she lifted her head back and then I saw the gash. She had a 2 inch cut under her chin. I have no idea how she cut herself there - she must've cut it on the toy when she fell over?

DH just happened to be home for lunch so I called him and he thought she needed stitches. It wasn't bleeding that bad at all. So, we gathered her up and headed toward to the ER.

Being back in the ER was a little creepy. We've been there twice before with her and neither trip ended well - the first being the meningitis and the second being the return of the bacteria with a blood infection. Oddly, the sounds and smells of the hospital brought back all of those emotions. That hospital has been way too familiar to us.

The nurse and doctor came in pretty quickly and determined that she did need stitches. They asked how it happened and in that conversation, I mentioned why we were home that day. They brought in some Zofran to give her to stop the vomiting and put some nubbing lotion on a cotton ball that we let sit on her chin for 40 minutes before they cleaned off the wound and started the stitches.

She actually fell asleep during that 40 minutes and we had to wake her up for the stitches. She was NOT happy. We wrapped her in a sheet to keep her hands down and the nurse had her head. To make sure it was good and numb, they also did 2 shots and then cleaned and sterilized it.

She got SIX stitches!

She didn't really bother it at all until yesterday and I think it's starting to itch. I take her tomorrow morning to get them out and I'm sure that won't be fun.

And, thankfully, no more vomiting.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

I have a great story about somebody's first stitches but for now.... here's a few pics.

Ahem (tap, tap tap...). Is this thing on?

2011-05-10T17:38:00.000-07:00

My name is Suzanne and I'm a horrible blogger.

I've been trying to think of some witty post that would ooh and aah all of you. But, truthfully, all I have is stories about diarrhea, fevers and snot.

You can thank me now. I'll spare you.

So, how about if I just make this the most random post ever and write down whatever comes to mind?

* Kendall continues to build on her vocabulary. New words this week are Mo Mo (Elmo), Oh baby, shoes, cheese, and no no no (as she shakes her finger)

* Reading with her is like a quiz. She points at things so quickly and won't let it go until you say the word. If you hesitate or get it wrong, she keeps going back to it until you say it. Hey! Who's the one learning to read here?

* Christopher has learned to throw. We're having a hard time getting him to understand that it's OK to throw the soft ball. Not so OK to throw the blocks and basically anything else that's hard which, invariably always hits Kendall in the head.

* The twins 2nd birthday isn't until October and I've already started putting together ideas. No, I'm not a planner. Not me. Not at all! I think the front runner at the moment is a local zoo that has some smaller zoo animals as well as a petting zoo and wagon and pony rides. I had their 1st birthday here at the house with family only and I decided this year, we're going out. It's just too hectic to try to plan and host. And, don't even get me started on what a scam it is to pay for these birthday parties! Good grief!! We're looking at close to $500 if we do the zoo.

* My niece's 3rd birthday is coming up in a few weeks and we're planning a trip to the National Zoo. Depending on how that goes, the above point might get thrown out the window. What if my kids have some random phobia of zebras or something?!

* I was climbing into bed the other night (don't worry, I'll keep it clean) when the phone rang. I thought to myself, "Who in the heck is calling this late?" and then realized it was only 8:30.

And, speaking of 8:30.... it's time to hit the hay! This old Mama needs her beauty rest.

Growing so fast

2011-04-30T06:42:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how quickly time is passing. I can remember my IVF cycle, pregnancy and the twins' birth like it was yesterday.

And, now here we are almost 19 months later. It's exciting to see all of the changes the kids are going through but it makes me a little sad too. They aren't the cuddly little babies that would fall asleep in my arms anymore.

Now, they are toddlers with opinions. Oh yes. Oh-pinions!

About everything. They know what they want and more importantly, they want it NOW! Thank God I'm a good multi-tasker because I'm seriously doing 4-5 things at once all of the time.
Left hand - making lunch
Right hand - pouring milk
Left foot - wiping runny nose
Right foot - tapping and keeping the beat while I sing the Hokey Pokey.

Yep, that's how we roll around here.

We're all doing well and looking forward to warmer weather. It's supposed to be an awesome weekend so we'll be outside as much as possible. I bought a sand/water table that we'll use for the first time today. We'll see how that goes. Hopefully no one decides to have sand for lunch. Bleck!

Since it's been awhile, here's a few recent pictures:

Hey! What's that?!

2011-04-12T17:07:00.000-07:00

The kids were taking a bath tonight and K kept looking over at C. She finally stood up, looked between her legs and said, "Ut Oh".

Now, I know they are my kids so I'm a little partial but it was seriously the cutest damn thing ever!

We're all doing great and I got some extremely good news about my kitty. I'm still waiting to talk to the vet so I don't have all of the information but it's looking like my kitty might not have cancer!!! She's not in the clear because it's still an autoimmune liver disease but at least we're not looking at losing her in 6 months.

The kids are growing by leaps and bounds. Kendall's vocabulary is now at least 15 words and it seems like she's saying something new every day. Christopher is talking too but it's not nearly as much as Kendall. Ah, the difference between boys and girls development. It really is neat to watch.

I celebrated my birthday over the weekend. My family came over for the afternoon and then me, DH, my sister and brother-in-law went out for a few drinks that evening. It was a real treat for all of us. My sister has a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old so they don't get out much either. It was nice to act like adults!

I am still reading all of your blogs even though I absolutely suck at posting and leaving comments. Most of the time, I quickly check in via my iPhone but trying to type and leave comments is too frustrating and then by the time I get home, it's hard to find the time to log on.

Hopefully I still have some readers?

Suckity suckity suck suck

2011-04-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in my last post that my cat is sick. They think she has cancer.

Notice I said "think". Because, you know. Nothing is EVER easy.

They've done bloodwork, an ultrasound and a fine needle aspirate. We've spent almost $2,000 for a diagnosis of "we think".

I've done a lot of research and, to their credit, distinguishing between liver cancer and liver disease is hard. The symptoms mirror each other almost identically. Some of her test results aren't definitive but they are pointing more toward cancer than an infection. With today's technology, you'd think they would figure out a way to identify one from the other.

If it is cancer, we have 2-6 months left with her. If it's liver disease or a form of hepatitis, we could have 6 months to 2 years.

And, so we wait. The vet has offered other tests that could be more conclusive but the $2,000 we've already spent has cut into our already tight budget. We could pursue chemo for another $5,000 but there's no guarantee it will work and at best, it might buy her another year.

So, we've opted to do what we can to keep her happy and when the time comes, we'll say goodbye. For now, she's still eating, drinking and remains active. But, every time I see her, it breaks my heart.

She's my first baby. We've had her since she was 8 weeks old and we're going on 13 years now. She comes down to get me when it's time for bed, she waits for me to wash my face and she sleeps with me every night.

How can having a pet be so great and suck so much at the same time? You always know this day will come but somehow, we're never prepared.

Christopher has grown very attached to her. When she comes downstairs, he runs over and pets her and hugs her. He's so gentle.

Part of me is thankful that we're dealing with this now instead of next year when the kids will truly understand that the kitty is gone. I don't know if I'm ready to see the heartbreak of a child who has lost a pet. That "heaven" conversation is awfully hard.

Have a good night everyone. I'm going to snuggle with my kitty.

One Stressed Out Mommy

2011-03-30T09:04:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the Calgon bubble bath commercials from the 1980's?
Yeah, that's how I feel. "Calgon take me away"!

First, my cat is sick. We're trying to figure out what's going on but things are pointing toward cancer. We're doing a fine needle aspirate of her liver tomorrow to tell us for sure. I've had her since she was 8 weeks old and she was my first baby. She's almost 13 years old now so if it is cancer, we'll do what we can to keep her comfortable and then we'll have a sad decision to make. It sucks.

The kids are coming up on their 18-month check up which means we'll receive an order for Kendall to get an abdominal ultrasound done. In case you missed the details, read here. I'm sure everything will be fine but it's still weighing on me. It sucks.

I love being a mommy and I love my kids more than anything but damn, I'm tired. Raising twins and working full-time is exhausting. Daddy is a tremendous help but let's face it. The mommy handles a lot.

Not to mention we've entered a new phase of toddler development.

Yes, the temper tantrum. Christopher has been known to throw himself on the floor complete with hands and feet flailing.

And, over the weekend, Kendall cried inconsolably for 45 minutes because Christopher took a piece of ribbon from her.

We've also entered the "when mommy says no, it's funny and I laugh at her" game. It's great.

Serenity now! Serenity now!

As an update to my last post, I have tried a few of your ideas with some success! So far, meatloaf and chicken/cheese quesadillas have been a hit! Tonight, we're trying veggie pizzas.

Let's hope more ends up in their tummies than on the floor.

Help! Food Emergency!

2011-03-24T16:44:00.000-07:00

I need your help. I am s-t-r-u-g-g-l-i-n-g with ideas for dinner. The kids are eating all table food now so they can pretty much eat what we eat.

Here's our "go to" meals and I am really starting to feel like I'm feeding the kids the same thing every week. In general, we struggle with vegetables. Kendall is the pickiest.

chicken nuggets
mac 'n cheese
Perdue Short Cuts chicken strips
Peas
Peas & Carrots
Steamed cauliflower with low-cal cheese sauce
Mashed potatoes
Sweet potato fries
Some of the Gerber Graduates prepared meals

We get home by 5:00 during the week and the kids are usually starving. I can stall them for about 10 minutes with snacks so it leaves me absolutely no prep time. I would love, love, love for you guys to give me any good, quick and easy recipes that you have. If it can be ready in under 20-30 minutes, that's ideal.

I am really going to try to make an effort to set aside some time on the weekends so I can make and freeze some casseroles. So, if you have any of those recipes, I'll take 'em!

What Rhymes with Hoop?

2011-03-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

Did you guess croup?

Yep, Kendall has it. It's known for it's "barking seal" cough and that's no joke. It's a horrible sound.
It literally came out of nowhere. She was fine on Saturday and had it on Sunday.

I took her to the doctor yesterday and she said she had Kendall diagnosed before she even came in the exam room. She could hear her in the hallway. They did test her oxygen sats and it came back at 91%. A little low but the doctor felt comfortable with sending her home and not to the hospital. They gave her a dose of prednisone in the office to help with the swelling of her windpipe and larynx and called in a prescription so we could give her some at home. That stuff is amazing! She sounded so much better this morning.

I think I have the adult version of croup. I started with a sore throat Friday night and my voice is still really hoarse. The doctor said croup is caused by a flu virus and that kids get croup because their airways are so narrow and can't accomodate the swelling. In adults, we just get an upper respiratory infection and hoarseness.

So far, Christopher seems like he is fairing OK and has only gotten a cold with a normal cough.

Other than that, we're busy gearing up for spring. I've been building their spring/summer wardrobes and I think we're just about ready. We've had several "teaser" days where the temps have gotten into the high 60's/low 70's and I'm ready. G'bye Winter!

The kids are doing well in school. Actually, they are loving it. Kendall has really come out of her shell and she is advancing very nicely. Not that she was behind or anything, but she was a little shyer than Christopher and we've definitely noticed her being more outgoing since starting school.

The pediatrician told us we'd have a very unique perspective on watching the difference in development for boys and girls and he was right! Boys develop their gross motor skills first and girls develop communication and fine motor skills first.

Christopher is all boy. He started climbing first and isn't afraid of anything physical. He falls down and just keeps on going. That boy has no fear. He is saying a few words but his sister has him beat on that one.

Kendall is my little talker. Her vocabulary is growing every day. New words:

Up, down (and even does the motion when she says it)
Wow
Trash
Dog
Mommy
Daddy
Moo
All done (when she's eating, she'll hand me her bowl/plate and say it)

She is also showing an interest in coloring and loves to stack things like blocks. And, of course, since Christopher is all boy, he loves to knock it down.

I look at them every day in pure amazement. This time last year, they were barely sitting up on their own. I just can't believe what they can do in a year!

Here's a picture we took at the park a few weeks ago:

It's not Disco Fever

2011-02-20T11:16:00.000-08:00

I can't wait for spring. The kids have been battling one thing after another all winter. The latest is some sort of virus that only comes with a fever. It lasts about 36 hours and comes right down with Tylenol.

But, damn. It's a persistent little bugger. Kendall had it last week and now Christopher started with it Friday. He's already on antibiotics for another sinus infection so I know it's not an infection. Just when I think the fever might have broken, it comes back again. When the Tylenol kicks in, he's right back to playing and acting normal.

Other that that, things are going well. The kids are doing well at daycare and are officially being moved to the Toddler room on Tuesday. Christopher has gone from being tentative and shy to running for office.

Yes, that's right. He's now the Mayor of daycare. As we leave at the end of the day, he walks down the hallway and says "Hi" and waves to everyone. I'm pretty sure we're only days away from kissing the babies.

They have both really blossomed. Kendall's vocabulary is growing every day. She now says mommy, ball, dog and bore (for "more"). She can also say Elmo but it comes out "Belbo" or "Mo Mo".

That's it for now. Looks like naptime isn't going to happen this afternoon.

Is it OCD?

2011-02-01T16:38:00.000-08:00

I think my son has inherited my obsessive-compulsive need to clean.
And, I think Kendall has inherited her father's ability to watch comfortably from a chair.

15 Month Check-Up

2011-01-18T17:44:00.000-08:00

The twins had their 15 month check-up today. They are both doing well.

Mr. Man gained 1 pound since their one-year check up and grew 1 1/4 inches. Ms. Kendall gained 1/2 pound and also grew 1 1/4 inches. Their measurements are so close, it's really amazing:

Christopher:
Weighs 22 pounds, 6 ounces (25th percentile)
Is 32.5 inches tall (75% percentile)
Head circumference is 18 1/4 (25th percentile)

Kendall:
Weighs 22 pounds, 7 ounces (25-50th percentile)
Is 32 3/4 inches tall (97th percentile)
Head circumference is 17 3/4 (25th percentile)

The kids are doing well at daycare. We've all been fighting colds for the last 2 weeks and Christopher ended up developing a sinus infection. He's back to his old self now and silly as ever. It took him about one week to transition to the new school and now, he's having fun.

Kendall has really blossomed. She is walking now. She was the only one in her class that was still crawling and I think she got motivated by watching the other kids. They are learning sign language and my smart little girl used it today. We were playing this morning and she came over to me and said "Mo" and put her fingers together to make the sign for "More". She was telling me she wanted breakfast! I was so proud - I swear I got teary eyed!

They are both saying a few words now:

Ma Ma
Da Da
Bye Bye
Hi
No
Yeah
Ut Oh
... and now Mo?

On a more serious note, I can't remember if I mentioned before that we've been watching Kendall's leg? When she was around 3 months old, I noticed her right thigh was thicker. If was shortly after the meningitis scare and the same leg they put the central IV line in to administer the antibiotics. And, the same leg that developed the blood clot from the IV line. At first, I thought it might still be swelling from that. I continued to keep an eye on it and it never seemed to get worse or bother her.

When she started standing, I noticed it more and thought it was best to have it looked at again. The doctor chalked it up to basic assymmetry and said she would outgrow it. At their 9 month check-up, the doctor examined it again and could see where there was not only a difference in circumference but, also a slight difference in length (about 1/4 inch) between the right and left leg. When measured, the length was the same from her hip to her knee cap but there was a slight difference in her tibia (from her knee to ankle). The doctor officially diagnosed it as hemihypertrophy. I've done extensive research since then and, as with infertility, you find good and bad information on the internet.

Kendall's case appears to be isolated to the one bone but there are more severe cases where an entire side of the body can be affected. So, when she turns 18 months old, we'll have an abdominal ultrasound performed to make sure her kidneys and liver aren't affected. Since it is classified as a "overgrowth syndome", her risk of tumors is greater. Most times, they are benign liver tumors. But still. What parent wants to ever hear or mention the word "tumor"?

If her scan is clear, the doctor said it's fairly safe to assume that it will be a cosmetic issue only. Meaning, she might have to wear a slight lift in her left shoe to make up for the 1/4 -1/2 inch difference in length. Her thigh is still slightly thicker but I think it's more noticeable to me because I know it's there. I don't think a complete stranger would stop and notice. He said that the overgrowth levels off by age 2 and that whatever the difference in length is at that point, it would remain consistent for the remainder of her growth years. He didn't notice any marked difference since he saw her 3 months ago so it doesn't appear to be any worse. That's good news considering she grew an inch and the difference still remained 1/4 inch between the 2 legs.

There is a part of me that is scared to death. I'm not going to lie.

My little girl already went through more than her fair share during her first 3 months. Subjecting her to ultrasounds and tests and prodding and poking makes my stomach hurt. And, if the u/s does show something, the thought of cancer and treatment makes me want to vomit.

Of course I would put my own life on the line to save her and we will do whatever we have to do. We'll deal with it and we'll win. But, do me a favor? Say a prayer that this turns out to be nothing anyway, OK?

Heavy Heart

2011-01-05T17:05:00.000-08:00

Please say a few prayers for 3 of our fellow bloggers.

I know most of you follow Jen @ Maybe If You Just Relax. If you don't, she recently lost one of her twin girls during delivery. I can't even imagine what she is going through right now.

Polly @ In2MeSee recently lost her father to pancreatic cancer just before Christmas. It happened post-transfer of another IVF cycle. Her beta levels aren't quite doubling like they should and she fears another miscarriage.

Tiffany@ Slow Journey just found out she is pregnant without any assistance and got some great news today - her beta doubled. She has a history of miscarriages so she is justifiably worried but today's beta is very promising!

I know all of these women could use your words of inspiration and support. Please stop by their blogs to say a few words.

We Survived

2011-01-03T17:59:00.000-08:00

The twins started daycare today. Kendall seemed to fair a little better than Christopher but they both did fine.

I decided to take them for 2 half days last week and I'm so glad I did. The first day, we took them to their classroom and stayed for about 10 minutes. Both kids seemed interested in exploring and weren't clinging to us at all so I asked if we could observe them from outside the classroom. They had a monitor set up in their administrative office so we were able to go into another room and see the kids. As soon as we left, Christopher started crying and kept walking over to the door like he was looking for us or expecting us to come right back. The good thing is that he did go to the teacher for comfort so he felt safe with her. He cried for about 30 minutes straight before he calmed down.

Kendall seemed OK until he started crying and then she started. And, she cried so hard that she was hyperventiliating. It was horrible. I started crying just watching them. It was so hard to not to go in there.

The 2nd day went better. Christopher still cried when I left the room but he calmed down after about 10 minutes. Kendall never cried. By late morning, they were both running around and playing.

Today was their first full day. As soon as we opened the door to the classroom, Christopher dropped to the ground and started crying - he didn't want to go in. I stayed for about 10 minutes and then quickly kissed them goodbye and left.

I talked to the teacher around 11 and she said Christopher would cry for about 5 minutes and then be OK for a little while and then cry again. He seemed to get upset when someone new would come into the room or when one of the teachers would leave. She said he seemed to calm down again around late morning and he did take a nap and ate well. Kendall did great. She walked right in this morning and started playing. The teacher said she never cried or seemed upset. I'm wondering if she is doing a little better because she was exposed to different people in the hospital?

Christopher's reaction doesn't surprise me. He is definitely the more sensitive one and clingier than Kendall. He is such a sweet little boy and I hate that he spent today feeling upset. Unfortunately, daycare is something we have to do. I don't make a ton of money but I make enough to count. Trust me, I've run the numbers time and time again and there's just not a way for me to stay home.

I know he will adjust over time - it may take a few weeks but in the long run, I know he'll be happier in that environment. So far, I love all of the teachers and everyone I've met. My niece and nephew both go there as well as the daugher of my co-worker. This will be good for them.

In other news, the holidays were great - except for all of us getting the stomach flu. OMG - it was horrible. Kendall got it first and then Christopher got it that night at 7:00 and then DH got it at 11:00 pm. We made it through Wednesday and I thought I was in the clear and then it hit me Thursday morning. At least it was gone by Christmas Day. I haven't had time to upload Christmas photos yet.

In the meantime, here's a few pics:

Future Super Model

Ready for my Christmas photo!

"Look what I can do! I can climb on the couch in a flash!"

My little guy

Starting Daycare

2010-12-19T13:04:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, my SIL has been watching the kids all year. We agreed it would be for one year and she has done a great job.

The kids were supposed to start "real" daycare on February 1st but we've decided to push it up and they are now starting January 3rd.

I'm so excited (and nervous) for the twins. I know they are ready. They need more activity and stimulation than running errands with my SIL during the day. They need to be with kids their age. They need to learn.

And, if you currently have a child in daycare, you also know the cost. We've been bracing for this. $2,200 per month. OUCH!

We can do it but we are going to need to stay disciplined and on a tight budget. I'm talking $20 leftover out of each paycheck after all of the bills and essentials are paid. Double OUCH!

The twins have made some great strides over the last week with eating. They have successfully (and willingly) eaten chicken nuggets (whole grain breaded), diced chicken breast, meatloaf, Kraft mac 'n cheese and a 1/4 cheeseburger.

They are also learning how to drink out of a cup (without the sippy part). We have some work to do on that one.

Uh oh - naptime is over.

Updates

2010-12-05T12:39:00.000-08:00

I have a few minutes while the twins are napping so I thought I'd make an appearance!

Thanksgiving went well. As I mentioned in my last post, we ordered dinner from Wegmans. It was good but didn't really save much time as far as getting the food to the table. It still took about 2 1/2 hours to heat everything but it accomplished what I wanted - spending more time with my family.

We've all been fighting "the funk" for the last month. I started with a cold that turned into a sinus infection and tonsilitis in early November. Yeah, I know. Who gets tonsiliits besides 10 year olds, right? One round of antibiotics didn't do anything and I ended up with bronchitis. So, basically, I was on antibiotics the whole month of November. I am feeling better now except I still have little bit of a cough.

The kids have been trading colds. I try to protect them from each other but let's face it. They swap spit on all of their toys so it's a lost cause.

We had an adult night out last night for DH's company Christmas party. It was a very fancy event and I even got to buy a new dress for it. It was nice to get out by ourselves but we're not the party animals we used to be. By 10:00, we were falling asleep and called it a night. That's how we roll these days.

The kids are doing great and hitting milestones left and right.

Kendall is so, so close to walking but she's not quite confident enough yet. She's a mad woman with her walker and she loves to walk holding our fingers but she's still very hesitant if you try to let go. She has taken 2-3 steps if DH and I sit on the floor and have her walk between us.

Christopher has been walking for about 2 months and he's all over the place. He is now starting to climb, which presents its own set of challenges. He pulls himself up on the ottoman and jumps off the other side. He can climb on the couch if he gets the right leverage.

They both have 8 teeth now - 4 up top and 4 on the bottom.

We are in full-on finger foods now although it's still hit or miss on what they will eat. So far, pancakes, waffles bananas, wheat bread and grilled cheese are a hit every time. They did have some mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole and turkey on Thanksgiving. We have also tried eggs, most veggies and some fruit (they don't like the texture of some fruit like peaches). They are still eating the jarred 3rd foods but I always introduce "real" food first and then supplement with the jarred. They have been on cow's milk for about 3 weeks. Christopher transitioned well but Kendall has been battling constipation off and on. I just bought some pear juice so I'll try to give her that once/day along with some other fiber-rich foods and fruits.

They are both becoming much more interactive. They will both pretend like they are talking on the phone if I say "hello"? I even caught Christopher "talking" into a phone. He just kept saying "Da" and "Yeah". Christopher is saying "no" and I swear he's saying "Mmmm, good" when he eats. Kendall isn't saying any words that I can recognize yet but she definitely understands. She loves this sock monkey doll she got for her birthday and she will go and find it if I ask where it is. We also play the "give me something so I say thank you and give it back to you" game.

Well, nap time is over. Gotta run.

Gearing Up for the Holidays

2010-11-16T06:07:00.000-08:00

Halloween is over and Thanksgiving is right around the corner. THIS is my time of year!

I will admit I had to do some soul-searching this year. I love to cook and Thanksgiving is like the SuperBowl of holidays for me. I have done Thanksgiving dinner for my family every year for the last 12 years.

And, I love it!

But, this year? I had to be realistic. I am now Mommy to 13 month old twins. And, while I try to present myself as Super Woman on a daily basis, I had to come to terms with the fact that I just don't have the time to do it this year.

Sure, I could stay up until 11:00 pm every night to get everything prepared and I could spend all of Thanksgiving Day in the kitchen but, when it comes down to it?

Spending the day with my family and my kids is more important than cooking.

Sorry, Rachel Ray. But, it is.

So, we're having dinner catered by Wegman's this year. And, I'll eat it knowing that my dinner would have been better but seeing my kids eat mashed potatoes and green beans at their first "real" Thanksgiving will be worth it.

I'm thankful for so many things this year. This time last year? Kendall was coming home from the hospital after the meningitis nightmare. I beam with pride and tears in my eyes when I look at her. She is a thriving, happy little girl and thank God, that whole ordeal is just a memory now.

We're gearing up for the holiday season in the "B" house. And, loving every minute of it!

Fall 2010

2010-11-03T09:39:00.000-07:00

I only have a few minutes but wanted to check in real quick. Everyone is doing great.

A few highlights:

Christopher is walking - everywhere.
Kendall took her first steps the other day
Neither is really talking yet - still saying nonsense words like "da do" and "mm ba". I'm sure they mean something but I haven't figured it out
They both love containers and putting things in them. They got an activity cube for their birthday and Christopher thinks it is his personal safe. One day, I couldn't find his sippy cup and it was in the cube.

A few pics:

For Halloween, the kids were a puppy and kitty. Christopher wouldn't keep his hat on.

Playing in the leaves:

I'm sorry, I'm sorry

2010-10-12T17:01:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm a crappy blogger. Heck, I don't even know if anyone is still reading this or if you all gave up on me?

Or, if my stories are even entertaining at this point?

Well, just in case anyone is still reading... here's what has been going on over the last 3 weeks.

1) Both kids have had back-to-back-to-back colds. I can't believe how quickly the season started. It seems like things are getting better and then literally, one day later, we're all runny, snotty noses again.

2) The twins turned ONE on October 4th. Everything went fine. I decided to only invite family because I live in a townhouse and let's face it... no one likes to sit on anyone's lap. It was still quite a crowd with 13 adults and 5 kids. Here's a few pics from the day:

Handmade banner made by me
What can I say? I have learned to become very, very productive during a 2-hour nap:

I did a Sock Monkey theme:

And... of course we had cake:

Other than that, things have been as hectic as usual. They had their 12-month check-up this morning and both are doing great. They are both charting in the 50-75 percentile on the 12-month growth chart, which is amazing for being 2 month preemies.

Developmentally, I think they are right on track. Christopher is walking. Not for long stretches but he can take 6-8 steps before falling down. He has also become quite a ham. No matter what he's doing, if he sees a camera, he stops, turns to the camera and smiles. Seriously... look:

Kendall is also doing quite well. She is cruising and started crawling about 2 months ago. She knows how to give a kiss and is constantly talking. She's still saying "Da Da" alot with a few "Mmm ba" and "Da Doooo's" mixed in.

The kids are definitely interacting more. Their favorite game is to chase plastic balls around on the hardwood floor. Kendall also likes to be chased so she'll try to egg Christopher on and then crawl away quickly to see if he follows.

They also play Hide 'n Seek in the living room curtains.

Life with twins is exciting, exhausting, rewarding, exhausting, and oh yeah, exhausting.

And, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

11 Days

2010-09-23T17:38:00.000-07:00

Good Lord - has it really been 2 weeks since I last posted? I really don't know where the days go.

Things here have been going well. Let's see... what's been going on?

My sister had their 2nd child on September 12th - Lucas Michael. I was so happy that I was able (and allowed) to be there for his birth. I am absolutely ecstatic that we have another little boy in the family and especially that Christopher will have a buddy as they grow up.

The twins have both been fighting colds over the last week. Christopher started with a runny nose last Monday and then Kendall started Wednesday. She actually ran a fever with hers so I was home with her Wednesday-Thursday last week.

I thought they were on the mend until yesterday. Christopher woke up at 3:45 am, which isn't completely unusual since we usually wake them up by 5:00 during the week anyway. Sometimes he does wake up a little early - especially if he didn't take a full bottle at bedtime. DH got up with him and gave Christopher a bottle and then tried to put him back to bed. Christopher started having a fit - again, nothing unusual.

He was clearly tired and seemed like he wanted to fall asleep but just couldn't. And, he was just really, really fussy. And, at times, full out crying.

He wasn't running a fever and his cold seemed to be clearing up so I just could not figure it out. We left for daycare as usual and I thought he would fall asleep in the car.

Nope. He cried for the entire 30 minute car ride. I started getting suspicious that something was going on.

I stayed at my SIL (daycare) house from 6:30 am until almost 8:00 am. I just didn't feel right leaving him until I either felt comfortable that he was OK or made the decision to take him back home.

He ate breakfast and drank a little more bottle so I was really conflicted. He did continue to be fussy though. Finally, I got him down for a nap around 8:00 so I decided to leave for work and told my SIL that I would check in around 10:00.

She said he woke up shortly after I left and was still super fussy. He also started running a slight fever.

OK - that's the sign I needed. I took him to the pediatrician and he had/has a double ear infection.

My poor little guy.

I am so glad I took him but damn! Those ear infections are hard to diagnose! I expected him to be pulling on his ear or to show some sort of other symptoms before the fever hit.

Kendall is still sniffly and coughing so I'll be keeping a closer eye on her. So far, mommy & daddy have escaped the dreaded bug.

So, why the post title of 11 days?

That's when my babies turn ONE! I can not believe it has been one year. That day is still so clear in my mind. Thank goodness I'm a super organized person because who knew they would come at 32 1/2 weeks?

We got an invitation from the NICU for the 2010 reunion. I am so excited! I want them to see what a good job we've done (Look! They aren't broken!) and how well the kids are doing. I can not say enough about the doctors and nurses where they were born. They are truly special people.

Well, if you don't hear from me between now and the kids' birthday - don't worry! I promise I will post pics of their b-day party on October 2nd.

POLL - Brand name or Generic?

2010-09-06T09:43:00.000-07:00

My twins have been on Enfamil Premium Lipil since we switched to formula at 12 weeks.

I had 3 friends tell me the Target brand was the same exact thing and half the price. Not wanting to "skimp" on my kids' health, I continued to pay $37 per can (for the large 34 oz can). We go through one of these cans per week. Do the math, and it gets damn expensive.

Now, it appears Enfamil has discontinued the large can and is now selling refill bags for their 24.6 oz can. The box contains 2 refill bags at $34 per box. Still expensive.

DH and I are budgeting for when they start daycare in February. Our monthly cost will increase $1,200 from what we are paying my SIL now.

It's time to get frugal.

I went to Target yesterday and was absolutely amazed. Their generic formula matched the Enfamil Premium Lipil ingredients almost identically!

And? Their 24.6 ounce can cost $12 compared to Enfamil's $24 for the same size!

I bought 4 cans and introduced it this weekend. So far, no difference. The kids are drinking it fine and no ill effects.

What about you? Do you buy the brand name or generic and why?
(P.S - take my poll to the left)

Thanks, Earl.

2010-09-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

We left last Sunday for our last vacation of the year. I was really looking forward to this one because DH was going to be with us all week.

We had absolutely gorgeous weather Monday-Wednesday. And, then we got evacuated Thursday because of stupid Hurricane Earl. The weather reports were so conflicting and at first, it looked like it wasn't going to be that bad. We were in Corolla, NC and there's only one road (Rt 12) that is situated between the ocean and sound. It floods during a regular old thunderstorm so I was most worried about the road flooding and not being able to get out. Our house was about 2 blocks from the ocean and the beach had a pretty substantial dune barrier. But, still. Better to be safe than sorry.

If we didn't have the kids, DH & I probably would have stayed. One of my co-workers was staying in a house a few streets up from us and he did stay. He told me yesterday that it was the most boring hurricane - just rain and wind. No damage, no flooding.

So, now I'm mad because we cut our vacation short by 3 days for nothing. AND, I haven't even mentioned the traffic to get home. The drive normally takes 5 hours from my house. Factor in the kids and we can do it in 6.

They announced the mandatory evacuation for our area at 8:30 am and we left Corolla at 10:45 am. It took us 3 hours to go 6 miles... and that was just to get down Rt 12 to the main road out of the Outer Banks. We would creep forward a few inches and then stop for 20-30 minutes. Dead stopped.

I have to tell you, though. I was a machine in the car! DH has an F150 pick-up truck and I can sit fairly comfortably in the back seat between the car seats. We did bottles, lunch (baby food) and diaper changes in the car! (Disclaimer - I normally would not take the kids out of their seats for a diaper change while driving but we were stopped and going nowhere).   I had stations set up in the back seat - bag of toys, diaper bag, bowls, spoons, bibs, wipes, blankets.

Once we finally got going, we hit an 8 mile back-up outside of VA Beach so that added another 2 hours.

So, the 6 hour drive turned into 11 hours. The poor kids. We stopped twice to get out and stretch our legs. Poor Christopher hated his car seat - he would cry every time we tried to put him back in the car.

I should have known that vacation was going to be out of the ordinary from the events of the first night. We got checked into the house and chose a downstairs bedroom that had a Jack 'n Jill bath. We set up the kids cribs in the connected bedroom.

We started our normal evening routine. Feed the kids dinner at 6, pjs at 7 and then start bedtime bottles between 7 & 7:30. Both kids were so obviously tired - crying and rubbing their eyes.

We took them down to their cribs and I fully expected them to fuss for a few minutes (as normal) and then conk out.

Um, no. They cried uncontrollably every time we left them alone in the room. They just could not get settled. We tried everything. Finally, at midnight, DH suggested we take them for a drive to see if we could get them to fall to sleep. So, we jumped in the truck and drove up and down Rt 12.

We came upon several police cars with their lights flashing. It was clearly a checkpoint of some sort.

Of course, DH had 3 beers that night between 6 pm and 10:00 pm. My first thought?

Shit.

The officer told us to stop and said they were conducting a drivers license check. (psst... that's code for DUI checkpoint).

He asked where we were coming from and DH said we were just driving around trying to get our kids to sleep. The officer shined his flashlight in the back seat (thanks for blinding my kids) and then asked for DH's license. He walked to the back of the truck - I guess to check the license against our license plates? Then, he came back and asked "How much have you had to drink tonight"?

DH immediately told him 3 beers and that the last one was 2 hours ago.  He looked at me and asked if I had anything and I said, "No, not a drop". He asked me to get in the drivers seat.

Since it was midnight, I was in my pajamas when we left the house.  Yes, my pink and white striped pajamas with "PINK" written across the butt.

I'm sure the officer and all of the cars stopped behind us really appreciated seeing that.

I got in the drivers seat and he asked us to turn down a side street where they were conducting a field sobriety test on another driver.

Now, I knew DH wouldn't have driven if he didn't think he could but the fact that he had something to drink still scared me.

They asked DH to get out of the car and they performed the breathalizer test on him. The whole time, I'm watching in the side mirror to see if I could tell what the outsome was.

I saw him blow in the machine and then the officer gave him back his license and he was free to leave.  He blew 0.00.   Phew!

And, after all of that? The kids were still awake when we got back home. They didn't go down until 4 am. I can honestly say that was THE longest night ever.

At least it will be a family vacation that I'll never forget!

More Milestones and The Battle of the Chunks

2010-08-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

I'm a proud Mama today.

My SIL called me around noon and said "Oh my God"! She never really calls me at work so my first thought was "Crap. What's wrong"?

Christopher took his first steps! He was standing at her back door playing with the shutters and she called him to come back to her. Her turned around and took 4 steps without falling down!

Wait! There's more!

About 5 minutes later, Kendall crawled for the first time! She said, "Back off big brother! I can show off too"!

I'm excited at their accomplishments and so, so proud of them!

I also started introducing 3rd and finger foods a few weeks ago. Christopher took to it right away and can easily eat the Gerber Puffs, banana and basically anything I give him.

Kendall, on the other hand, has quite the gag reflex. She'll take one bite and start gagging. Sometimes throwing up. Once she gags, she refuses to eat any more and either pushes the spoon away or clamps her mouth shut. I've tried all different flavors of food of varying "chunkiness". She gags every time.

She did fine with all of the pureed 2nd foods. I always give them a few Puffs while I'm getting their food together for dinner. She will pick them up and even puts them to her mouth. But, as soon as it hits her tongue, she pushes it back out again.

Has anyone experienced this and did you find anything that helped? I know she'll eventually outgrow it but I feel horrible for her every time. I don't want meal time to turn into a dramatic ordeal where she doesn't want to eat.

Any Possibility You Are Pregnant?

2010-08-11T17:00:00.000-07:00

I went to an orthopedic doctor this morning. My right shoulder has been killing me for the last 3 weeks.

I've been taking 400 mg ibuprofen twice/day since I hurt it and at the risk of developing a stomach ulcer, I decided it was time to have it looked at.

The nurse asked how I think I hurt it and embarassingly, I told her it was from lifting my kids in their car seats. I'm not embarassed because of my kids - I'm embarassed because I'm so damn out of shape (or old?) that I hurt it lifting car seats.

In my defense, those little rascals are heavy! Each kid is 20 lbs and the car seat is 20 lbs. I'm no mathematician but that's 40 lbs x two! That's a heavy load!

She said they wanted to take some x-rays and asked if there's any possibility that I'm pregnant. I immediately said "no" without much thought and then I felt the sting.

I'll never be pregnant again. Ever.

I count my 2 little blessings every day and I'm so thankful for what I have. But, I'll admit it does hurt a little.

The emergency hysterectomy during their delivery saved my life but it also took away any future ability to have more children.

DH & I knew that the IVF cycle where we conceived the twins was probably our last effort so either way, our journey was over. I guess what hurts is that I don't have the choice anymore.

Anyway, I was diagnosed with rotator cuff tendonitis and got a cortisone shot to alleviate some of the pain and inflammation. The doctor didn't think any further treatment would be needed but said the next step would be an MRI if I didn't see any improvement in 2-3 weeks. I also have to do some at-home physical therapy. Like I really have time to do that?!

Heart Breaking

2010-07-31T12:59:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, one of my friends told me about the son of one of her childhood friends. Beginning last March, the little boy started complaining of belly aches. The parents took him to the doctor, who said he thought it was just constipation, and sent the family home.

Over the course of the next month, the boy still complained of random tummy pain. Finally, one night the parents thought something was really wrong and took him to the ER.

That's when they discovered the tumor. Luke Hawley was diagnosed with a neuroblastoma in his abdomen at the age of 2. It had already progressed to a Stage IV tumor and invaded his lymph nodes and bone marrow.

To date, Luke has had 6 chemo treatments and will receive a stem cell transplant next week. The tumor was reduced to the point that it was successfully removed a few weeks ago.

I've never met this family but their story literally brought tears to my eyes. This little boy is so young and so little to have to go through something like this. I've been following their progress via Facebook.

This morning, one of my childhood friends posted a similar story. She knows a family whose daughter was diagnosed with a neuroblastoma (adrenal tumor) in 2006. This little girl has undergone 7 chemo treatments and will receive a bone marrow transplant next week. Her name is Taylor Love and she is 5 years old.

In both cases, the children didn't exhibit any symptoms until the tumor had progressed to the point to cause symptoms. By then, it had already invaded the surrounding tissue and bone marrow.

As a human being, these 2 stories absolutely break my heart. As a mother, I cry. I can't imagine what these families are going through.

Even more worrisome, both families live in the same community. I looked it up on-line and only 650 cases are reported in the United States each year. To have 2 within 10 miles of my house is extremely disturbing. I don't think there's any environmental reason for it. I think it is just pure coincidence but still.

It's scary. And, I'm going to give my kids extra hugs and kisses today.

If you'd like to help via donation or just offer support, here's the links to both families:

Luke Hawley: http://www.facebook.com/TeamLuke

Taylor Love: http://taylorlove.org/index2.php

9 Month Stats

2010-07-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

The kids' pediatrician appointment went great. The doctor was very impressed with their progress. He even said, "We can throw the preemie thing out the window, they've caught up physically".

He was completely shocked when I told him what Christopher was doing. He said he's very advanced.
Kendall is also on track and consistent with what a 7 or 8 month old should be doing. He expected her to be crawling within the next month or so.

In total, they have 12 teeth (6 each). He said Kendall has FOUR coming in up top and Christopher has the 2 on each side of his front teeth coming in. He gave me the green light to introduce 3rd foods and finger foods whenever I feel they are ready.

I'll post their physical stats because, if any of you are like me, you like to compare your child(ren) against others the same age.

Christopher weighed 19 lbs 2.5 oz and was 29 1/2 inches long. He's in the 25% for weight and 25-50% for height. His head circumference was 17 1/2 inches.

Kendall weighed 20 lbs 3 oz and was 30 inches long. She's in the 50% for weight and 90% for height. Her head circumference was 17 inches.

And! They are charting on the 9-month scale! Absolutely wonderful!

Ta Ta Toofies

2010-07-21T06:59:00.000-07:00

We have teeth galore in my house.

Christopher has his 2 top front teeth and 2 bottom front teeth. When I picked him yesterday from daycare, my sister in law said she thought she saw another tooth coming in to the left of his front tooth.

Sure enough, it looks like somethin' is a brewin' in those parts!

Kendall's 2 front bottom teeth popped through the gum over the last week and I think her 2 front teeth are coming in as well.

Could explain her fussiness over the weekend. Hmmmm, ya think?

The kids have their 9-month check-up this afternoon. I always look forward to these.

What can I say? I love to hear the doctor tell me how absolutely wonderful my children are.

They are, after all, SUPAH STAHRZ!

What can they do, you ask?

Christopher
* Can crawl like nobody's business
* Is able to get up one stair
* Can stand unsupported for about 2-3 seconds
* Can walk/cruise along an object like the sofa or ottoman
* Eats 3 meals per day + 25 ounces of formula
* Says Ma Ma and Da Da but it's still more babbling than anything

Kendall
* Talks all....of....the....time
* Says Ma Ma, Da Da, Ba Ba, Na Na
* Is close to crawling. She sits unsupported really well and has started to lean forward and transferring weight to her knee
* Loves to pat her belly with both hands
* Has just started a waving motion (as in "bye bye")
* Absolutely loves, loves, loves books

I just adore these kids more and more every day. They are the center of my world. I love to see their faces first thing in the morning and I can't wait to pick them up in the afternoons. They are changing so fast and I don't want to miss a thing.

Hey! Come out and play with me!

I didn't do it.

Was that ice cream?!

Christopher did it.

Ugh!

2010-07-17T04:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday sucked. Pure and simple.

I had my entire office looking for my diamond. I checked my purse 5 times, my lunch bag 3 times, my laptop bag 3 times, my car twice. I re-traced my steps from the parking garage to my office twice. I got down on my hands and knees and looked in, under and around my car.

No diamond.

I looked in my SIL driveway, scoured her living room carpet, tore apart the kids' car seats and even asked if she looked in their diapers that morning.

No diamond.

I came home and looked in the bathroom, in the freezer, in the refridgerator and on the floor from the front door to the living room.

No diamond.

I finally just gave in to the realization that I would probably never find it.

I was playing with Christopher in the living room and sitting on the floor. He moved one of their toys and OMG!

There it was! I found my diamond!!

We took it to the jewelers last night and it is being sent off to be re-set.

5 minutes, an earthquake and a lost diamond

2010-07-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness. It's only noon and it's already been quite a day.

My morning started with a minor earthquake. Yep, that's right. At 5:04 am, a 3.6 earthquake hit the DC Metro area! I was downstairs changing Christopher's diaper and DH was upstairs with Kendall. All of the sudden, it sounded like DH was moving heavy furniture across the floor. The house shook and rumbled. The glasses in my china cabinet tinkled together. He came downstairs and I asked, "What the hell were you doing upstairs"? He said, "What do you mean? I was changing Kendall's diaper". I had no idea what it was until I got in my car and turned on the radio!

I got to work at 7:00 am and went to our office kitchen to make a cup of coffee. I just happened to look down and the diamond in my engagement ring is missing. The main stone that is about 1 ct in size. I have no idea of when it fell out. I scoured the office, re-traced my steps from the parking garage to my office and I can't find it anywhere. My SIL checked the car seats, the kids and her house and couldn't find it either. I'll check the house when I get home but I know the chances of finding it are so slim. I am absolutely sick to my stomach.

The ring came with a lifetime warranty as long as you have it inspected every 6 months. Thank God I have. So, I think they will replace the diamond at no cost. I have all of the paperwork at home so I'm going to the jewelers tonight. Worst case, it is on our homeowners policy. But, the sentimental value is what is really getting me. It was my engagement ring!

On the bright side, bedtime went well last night. Christopher fell asleep on Daddy immediately after bedtime bottle, Daddy took him to bed and he actually stayed asleep!

For an hour. And, then he woke up crying.

DH went upstairs, rubbed his back, laid him back down and left the room. And, he fell back to sleep within 5 minutes. I think we're on our way!

Alright, back to work. Say a little prayer for me that I find the diamond at home.

20 Minutes

2010-07-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right! We made progress!

Last night started as usual. Dinner, bath, bedtime bottle, fall asleep on Daddy immediately after finishing bottle. Wait 10 minutes, take Christopher to bed and Bam!

Wide awake.

We let him cry for 10 minutes before going in. Daddy went up this time and stayed for a minute without picking him up and then left.

About 10 minutes later, he was fast asleep. 20 minutes of crying was still tough to listen to but it wasn't nearly as dramatic as the night before. Both kids were asleep by 8:15 pm and were still sleeping at 5:00 am when we had to wake them up.

I'm not jumping up and down quite yet because it is still early. And, I know it's not a perfect process.

Wish us luck tonight. I'm hoping tomorrow's post will be titled "5 Minutes or Less".

40 Minutes

2010-07-14T08:25:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone for your advice and comments on my last post. It was taken to heart for sure.

Last night started out to be another repeat with Christopher. Fell asleep after bedtime bottle, took him up to bed and he woke up as soon as he hit the mattress.

So, we started the Ferber method. I know there are tons of techniques out there and everyone has an opinion on what works. For now, we'll try this and see where it goes.

After 40 minutes of crying and spaced intervals of soothing, he finally fell asleep. Hearing him cry like that was absolutely torturous for DH and I. I know it needs to be done so I think I probably handled it better than Daddy. But, it was still hard.

He did sleep through the night but that wasn't really our problem to begin with. Our has been strictly limited to getting him to bed in the first place. Based on Christopher's behavior last night, I'm convinced that he does have some seperation anxiety going on. Every time I went into the room, he stood up in his crib and was literally clamoring to be picked up - grabbing my shirt, reaching through the crib, holding his arms out. It was so heart wrenching. I was fighting with myself to follow the technique because my "mom instinct" wanted to comfort him so badly.

Tonight is another night.... we'll see how it goes.

Zzzzzzzzzz

2010-07-12T11:02:00.000-07:00

Oh boy.   We're having sleep issues. I'm hoping it's just a bump in the road.
Any suggestions? Here's our typical night time routine. We haven't changed anything over the last few weeks.

5:00 pm                Bottle (averages around 4 oz each)
5:30 - 6:30 pm      Playtime
6:30 pm                2 T cereal mixed with 1/2 jar fruit or vegetable (each child)
7:00 pm                Pajamas
7:15 pm                Bed time bottle (we always offer 5 ounces but it averages any where between 3-5 ounces)
7:30 pm                In Bed

The kids usually fall asleep in our arms as soon as they finish their bed time bottle. We hold them for about 15-20 minutes to make sure they are asleep and then take them up to bed. We've done that ever since they were about 3 months old.

Beginning Friday night, they both started waking up about an hour after putting them to bed. It's almost like they think they were just taking a nap. We try to let them cry for about 10 minutes before going in to get them but it's hard if the other is still sleeping.

Last night was absolutely horrible. They did take naps yesterday but nothing extraordinary. An hour & 1/2 in the morning and an hour in the afternoon. They were both in bed by 7:30 and then here's how it went:

8:30 pm              Christopher woke up. DH got him and brought him back downstairs so Kendall wouldn't wake up. Christopher fell asleep in DH's arms about 15 minutes later.

10:00 pm             Kendall woke up. I let her cry for about 5 minutes until she woke Christopher up. When I went in to get Kendall, Christopher saw me leave the room and had an absolute temper tantrum. DH finally got him after about 15 minutes.

10:15 pm             Kendall drank 4 ounces and fell back to sleep in my arms. As soon as I put her back in her crib, she woke up and started crying again. After that, she was wide awake and wanted to play.

12:00 am             Finally got both kids back down.

3:00 am               Christopher woke up crying again. DH got up with him and he drank 4 ounces and then fell asleep in his arms. When he put Christopher back in his crib at 4:00 am, he woke right up and started crying.

4:00 am               I got up so DH could get some sleep. Christopher fell asleep from 4:30 - 5:30 am.

I have a theory for each of them but who knows? Christopher has started to show some signs of seperation anxiety (if I leave the room). I read that sometimes it manifests at night when the child wakes up and can't find the parents.

And, I think Kendall is cutting her 2 bottom teeth. I thought I saw something yesterday but she clamps down when I try to look so I can't say for sure. I did get my finger in her mouth and I thought I felt something at the gum.

I know that some bumps in the road are normal and expected but I think it's even harder when you get used to sleeping through the night and getting 7 consecutive hours of sleep. Not to mention the poor kids. They have to feel like crap too with waking up every 3 hours.

They are sharing a room right now so seperating them is an option but I really have a hard time with that. They lost so much time together when Kendall was in the hospital. I really want to keep them together for the first 2 years. If this really does become a problem where one is always waking the other, I'll make the move.

So, have any of you experienced similar sleeping issues and if so, what worked?

Bath Seats

2010-07-10T17:47:00.000-07:00

A few of you asked about the bath seats that were in my last post. I got them from Bed, Bath & Beyond - I think they are only sold on-line. Here's the link: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?SKU=15003227

They work well, for the most part. The kids slide forward/down in them so we do have to constantly prop them back up again. But, who wouldn't slide around on wet plastic, right? They are good up to 28 lbs so we will probably use them until that point, unless the kids get too big to fit. We have a really old tub that is made of fiberglass and it's impossible to get clean - no matter how hard I scrub. I'd rather have my kids' tushes in the seat than on our nasty ass tub.

Christopher has been crawling for about a week now and he just amazes me every day. He is now pulling himself to a standing position on virtually every object (sofa, ottman, exersaucer). He is also starting to cruise. He can stand, hold on to the ottoman, reach over to the sofa, and take 2 steps to the sofa. And, then he goes back to the ottoman. It's a fun little game.

Everyone has been asking me about baby proofing and my answer has been that we can keep the kids confined to our living room area because there is a step down from the dining room. Surely they won't be able to negotiate the step for at least another month, right?

Uh, wrong. Christopher climbed it twice today and made it into the dining room. Crap. Now, I need to figure out what to do with all of our bar ware (glasses) that I have stored under this little buffet.

Oh, who am I kidding? I could just throw it all out because I haven't finished an entire glass of wine since the kids were born.

Kendall is cutting her 2 bottom teeth so she's been pretty fussy all weekend. Still no new progress on crawling but I'm confident she'll get it figured out soon enough.

That's about it from here.

On the move

2010-07-05T07:22:00.000-07:00

You guessed it...

Christopher started crawling this weekend. I'm so proud of him! And, let me tell you.... we're learning very quickly where we need to babyproof. He took a few "steps" forward yesterday morning and by last night, he could make it across the living room.

Not only is he crawling but, he can also pull himself up on to his knees and feet! I wasn't prepared for that to happen so fast. I thought it would happen in stages. He would master crawling and then pull up to his knees and then start standing. It all happened at the same time!

Here's how I found him yesterday morning.
(Thank God we lowered his crib last weekend. I also had to put the bumpers in because he kept getting his feet caught between the bars. He woke up twice screaming because he was caught and trying to roll away, which was twisting his leg. I really debated on whether to put them in because of the safety risks but in the end, I decided it was better to have them):

Hi Mom!

Look at me go!

Kendall is also making progress. She's still doing push-ups and scoots on her belly. She can't quite get her knees underneath her but, I bet she'll be crawling by next month.

They both started demonstrating the pincer grasp so, I introduced finger foods this weekend. Christopher got it in his mouth and actually started chewing. Kendall also got it in her mouth but gagged. That's ma girl!

We love bath time!

Chillaxin'

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July weekend!

What's New?

2010-06-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

The kids are great. I'm great. Hubby is great. Things are good.
The twins will be 9 months old on July 4th. I can't believe it. Their birth seems so far away and yet, so recent. I still look at them in amazement. They have come so far. Look at how small they were!

Christopher now has his 2 top teeth for a total of 4. Kendall still hasn't cut any but she's still drooling like crazy so I don't think it will be long.

Christopher still isn't crawling but he sure does love to get up on his hands and knees and rock. His newest thing is also to stand while we hold his arms and he jumps up and down.

He is no longer amused by the exersaucer or Jump Jump. Ohhhhhh no. He's much too much of a big boy for those toys now. Big boys stand on the outside and play. I'm not quite sure what the difference is but that's all he wants to do. If you put him in the seat, he starts to cry. But, if you hold him and let him stand on the outside, he'll play for hours. Unfortunately, we can't sit and hold him like that for hours.

Kendall just makes me laugh. She is such a character. She loves to play peek-a-boo. It only took 2 times before she had it figured out and started grabbing my hands away from my face. She, on the other hand, still loves Jump Jump. Her newest thing is sticking her arm in the air while she's jumping so she looks like she's riding one of those rodeo horses. She laughs and squeals. She has also discovered that if she slaps my bare skin, it makes a really cool sound. So, she climbs up on my chest and slaps away. And, then she looks at me with this huge grin.

They have started interacting with each other. We had them both sitting on the floor with a toy and Christopher put his arm around her.

Wait. Don't get all "Awwwww" quite yet. Because 10 seconds later, he pushed her over.

They do stare at each other and I'll catch Christopher smiling at her. Kendall is still the serious one and she stares at him like she's thinking, "Oh geez. You again?!".

Here's a few pics from this weekend.

So Big

2010-06-13T04:01:00.000-07:00

The twins are getting so big. I can't believe how quickly time has gone by. This sounds so cliche but it really does seem like it was just yesterday when they came home from hospital.

Christopher is soooooo close to crawling. He is getting up on his knees and rocking back and forth. I know it will only be a matter of days or weeks before he gets it figured out. I'm so proud of him. Physically, the twins are 8 months old but because they were born 2 months early, they are supposed to "follow" the adjusted age of 6 months for development. So far, he has done everything early. He got his 2 bottom teeth 2 months ago, started sitting unassisted about 6 weeks ago and now he's almost crawling.

Kendall is also doing really well. She started sitting unassisted first and her extensive vocabulary now consists of Da Da, Ma Ma and a few Ba Ba's are sprinkled in. She still hasn't rolled over but the doc told me not to worry - some kids just don't. She thought Kendall would skip that whole step and go straight into crawling from the sitting position. Since Kendall just went to the doctor, I have her weight and height but not Christopher's. She weighed 19 lbs and is 28 inches tall. She is charting in the 50-75% of the 8-month scale so she has officially caught up to kids her own age! I know Christopher is a little smaller but not by much.

They started solids about 2 months ago and they are both pretty good eaters. We were doing cereal mixed with fruit/veggies in the morning and then again in the evening but they both seemed like they were starving all of the time, so we've added in a third meal of plain fruit or veggies in the afternoon. They both average about 25-30 ounces of formula per day on top of that.

Kendall continues to be a good sleeper and averages about 10 hours/night. We had a rough 6 weeks with Christopher - he started waking up in the middle of the night again. He would take a bottle and go right back to sleep so it was obvious he was hungry. That was one of the reasons we added in that third meal during the day. Since we did that, he's been better. He has woken up twice in the last 2 weeks but for the most part, he is sleeping through the night again. We have a pretty strict night time routine and I think that helps. Bottle at 5:00 pm. Dinner (cereal w/ fruit or veggie) at 6:30 pm. Bedtime bottle at 7:30 and in bed by 8:00 pm.

I did have an obsessive first-time mom moment last week. You might remember that Kendall developed a blood clot in her leg back in November during the meningitis scare. I was keeping an eye on her right leg for awhile afterwards and then as time went by and she got healthy again, I just sort of stopped looking.

Last Saturday, she was in her exersaucer and I looked over and her right leg caught my eye. To me, it was clearly bigger than her left. Her right thigh was always a little bigger after the blood clot but this time, her whole leg looked fatter to me. Not swollen. Just chubbier.

It didn't seem to bother her at all and it wasn't discolored and the circulation seemed to be fine. It was just chubbier. I watched it for 2 days and it just wasn't sitting right with me so I made an appointment. Of course, in the meantime, I consulted Dr. Google and managed to scare the ba-jeebus out of myself.

I came across something called hemihypertrophy which is a condition where one side of the body grows faster than the other side. It can be the entire side of the body or isolated to one limb, like a leg. It can also result in the affected limb being shorter or longer than the other, resulting in the need for orthopedic shoes or braces. But, that wasn't even the worst part of it. It also said that affected kids are at a higher risk of kidney cancer and it recommended ultrasounds every 3 months until the child's 5th birthday. OMG, cancer?!

I had myself worked up into such a frenzy that I was sure she had it. To make a long story short, the pediatrician dismissed my theory fairly quickly and thinks that she just has one leg chubbier than the other. It's not obviously noticeable and if you were to look at her, you probably wouldn't even see it. But, once you see it, it's all you see. If that makes sense. I did have them measure her thighs and there was a 2 cm difference. We agreed to watch it. The kids have their 9-month check up in a few weeks and I'll ask them to measure again to see if there's any change.

Obviously, I'm glad I took her. Even though it turned out to be (what appears to be) nothing, I will always err on the side of caution with these kids. As any mother would. Because of Kendall's history, I'm probably a little more protective of her.

Well, I think I've gotten you guys caught up now. I am still reading all of you even if I haven't been that good at posting comments.

I'm still here

2010-05-26T14:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm still alive. It's been a busy, busy 2 weeks.

We got home from vacation on Saturday. I had every intention of working on my new private blog during vacation but it just never happened. So, for the time being, I'll keep this one up and running.

Vacation was good. And different. I went to the Outer Banks (NC) with my family which consists of my mom, stepfather, sister, BIL and my 2 year-old niece. Believe it or not, it was our first time vacationing together in several years.

And, our first vacation with the twins. DH couldn't stay the entire week because he just hasn't accrued the vacation time yet (started a new job in January) so unfortunately, it wasn't the first family vacation that I had always envisioned. It made me sad that he couldn't be there to see the twins' faces the first time they saw the ocean or touched the sand. I know we will have many, many more vacations but you can't get back the first one.

My family was a huge help with the kids but it was still exhausting. If I wasn't handling one of the kids, I was giving instructions or answering questions about what they needed to do.

"I think he needs a diaper change"
"She sounds like she's still hungry"

I didn't expect a lot of "me" time but I thought that maybe I'd get an hour or two during the day while the kids napped. I could not get them to nap at the same time to save my life. If they did both fall asleep, it would only be for 15-30 minutes and then someone would wake up.

Mid-week, my BIL said to me, "I don't know how you do it. You never get a break." Tell me about it. By Thursday, I was exhausted and burned out.

And ready to come home. I love my kids dearly but 2 of them 24/7 is just exhausting.

I haven't even mentioned my family. It has been confirmed. The same things that annoyed me about my mother when I was a teenager still annoy me.

She asks the same question over and over again. I don't know if she's early Alzheimers or trying to make conversation or doesn't listen or what. I'll answer twice and by the third time, I get snippy. For the love of God woman! I don't know what the weather forecast is for today!!

And my stepfather is just weird. He treats my mother like gold and that's what matters most. But, he's still weird. I honestly think there's a chance he has a social disorder. He tries to crack jokes but they are in such poor taste or downright stupid that he never gets laughs. And, he thinks he's a know-it-all but half of the time, he's an idiot.

He also thinks he's a tour guide. It was raining one of the days so we all went to the aquarium. The kids and I rode with them and the entire ride, to and from, he was pointing out landmarks and random facts.

That restaurant used to be owned by Gerken Flerkenherken and now Bob Smith owns it.
And, that store used to have a red roof and now it's blue.
Every time we drive along this marsh, we always see rabbits along the road.

Anyway, it's good to be home.

The kids are growing up so fast. Kendall started saying "Da Da" last week. She doesn't know what it means yet but it's still cute. Christopher is a rolling fool and that is his main mode of transportation these days. He's trying to figure out the crawling thing. He pushes up on his hands and tries to scoot his knees under him but he can't quite get it yet. He's also a stomach sleeper. We put him on his back and within 30 seconds, he's flipped over.

I'm going to break my rule and post some recent pics from the beach. Enjoy!

I feel so warm and fuzzy...

2010-05-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

I am completely blown away. I have received so many requests to keep reading my blog and I had no idea that so many people were following.

Thank you.   Thank you for listening. Thank you for following my story. Thank you for thinking that what I say even matters.

And, well. For putting up with my corny humor. I know, I know. It's asking alot.

I'm still in the process of gathering email addresses and figuring out how I want to set up the private blog so I'm going to keep this one up and running for a little while longer. If you sent me an email or left a message on this blog, I plan to respond to each of you personally. I still have spots available so please let me know if you want to have access to the new site.

(I did want to clarify one thing. Nothing specific happened that made me decide to go private. I didn't receive a crazy or threatening comment. I guess the best way to describe it is that I just started to get the "Creep Factor". They are getting older and I don't know who sees this or reads this. I've tried to maintain some anonymity by not posting my last name or city but still. You just don't know).

Quick Update:
Christopher is getting close to crawling. He's doing push-ups and scooting with his feet. He has also mastered The Great Escape.  They've been in sleep positioners to keep them on their backs and Christopher can now kick his way out. He insists on sleeping on his stomach. It just started this week and it's still freaking me out. I wake up at least 5 times every night to look at the monitor. The doctor said if he can get there on his own, he can make it back and not to worry but how can I not? The kid sleeps with his face buried in the mattress!

Kendall is still as sweet as ever. I think she's going to be a little ham. She loves attention and loves to giggle. They've been eating solids for about 4 weeks now and she hasn't met a food she doesn't like. When you stick the spoon in her mouth, she says, "Mmmmmm" and squeezes her lips together. We've taken the kids to the indoor pool twice and she's quite the little swimmer. She can float on her back and stomach (head supported, of course). She loves it. No teeth yet but I think she's working on them.

We're taking our first vacation in about 10 days and I can't wait. Unfortunately, DH can't come for the whole week since he just started his new job in January and doesn't have any vacation time yet. He's driving us down on Saturday and driving back home Sunday and then doing the same thing the following weekend. I'm bummed that we won't be together as a family but keeping his job is more important. I'll have my mom and sister to help me with the twins.

Oh, and can I just say.... holy crap! I started making a list of stuff that I need to pack and OH MY GAWD. It is insane! I don't know how we're going to get it down there. DH has a super duper manly pick-up truck but I'm seriously doubting whether that thing can hold it all.   It's just crazy, I tell ya!

I'm still checking in and reading everyone's blogs (even if I suck at commenting).

I'm Going Private

2010-04-28T05:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I think the time has come. As the twins get older, I'm feeling the need to protect them more and more. I no longer feel comfortable sharing the details of my daily life or posting pictures of them for all the world to see.

I have made some great friends over the last 2 years and I'd like to continue to share my story with you. If you'd like to have access, please send me an email with your name, email address and the name of your blog and I'll add you to the list. There are only 100 spots (and I can't imagine I have that many followers) so there should be plenty of room for everyone. I'll switch the settings to Private Only on May 9th.

If you choose not to come along, I wish you the best of luck with whatever the future holds for you. I'm not sure if any IF'ers are still reading but if so, you have to believe it will happen for you. The IF experience will change you and will stay with you forever but it will make you stronger. You will be OK. Just believe.

I hope to see you on the "other side"!

Forgive Me?

2010-04-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm a sucky blogger. I have been reading though, I promise.

The twins had their 6-month check-up last week and all is well. The doctor was again very pleased with their progress. Kendall has now surpassed her brother in the weight and height department. She weighed 17.4 lbs and was 27 1/2 inches. Christopher wasn't far behind at 16.7 lbs and 27 1/4 inches.

They both came down with their first colds 2 weeks ago and got over them fairly quickly. Now, we're battling something else. Kendall started with a stuffy nose early last week and that's about as far as it went. Poor Christopher didn't fair quite as well. When I picked him up from daycare on Tuesday, he felt warm. He spiked a 101 degree fever that came right down after a dose of Tylenol. Now, he's got a horrible cold. I'm hoping it only lasts a week and he'll be on the mend this week.

Other than that, it's been the same old, same old. We're going on vacation in about 4 weeks and I can't wait. We haven't had a real vacation in 2 years since last year's was cancelled due to my pregnancy.

Ut oh. Nap time is over. Gotta go. Here's a few pics.

My, What Big Teeth You Have

2010-04-12T17:07:00.000-07:00

So much has happened over the last week.

DH had to travel for work last Monday - Thursday and wouldn't you know? One of the kids stopped sleeping through the night.

It started Sunday evening after spending Easter with DH's family. There was lots and lots of excitement all day and the kids' schedule got a little out of whack. When Christopher woke up at 1:00 am, I just figured it was because he missed his dinner bottle. He drank a bottle and went right back to sleep.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights were the same thing. He'd wake up once during the night, drink a bottle and go right back to sleep. Good because I was back in bed within a half hour. Bad because I had to get up and that's no fun when I had to get up to start the day at 4:00 am.

Thursday evening couldn't come quick enough. At least Daddy could get up with him if he did it again. And, wouldn't you know? Thursday night, he started sleeping through the night again.

I figured he was going through a growth spurt, which I think probably was part of the reason. I also think he missed his Daddy. And, he also cut his 2 bottom teeth last week.

My little boy has TWO ta ta toofies!

Kendall was a perfect angel the entire time he was gone. She goes right to sleep and stays asleep until I wake her up the next morning. During the week, that's around 5:00 am. On the weekends, it can be as late as 7:30. She is a drool machine so I think her toofies are probably close behind.

We're still practicing with solid foods. So far, they have tried sweet potatoes and pears. Christopher seems to be a veggie lover and tonight, for the first time, Kendall actually seemed interested and ate the pears.

I mentioned before that last Friday was my birthday. We got tickets to the Washington Capitals game and stayed downtown overnight. My first night away from the babies.

We wanted to get downtown early so we both left work at lunchtime. I dropped off the kids at the usual time that morning and arranged for my SIL to take them to our other SIL house for the night. So, I didn't see them from 6:30 am until the next morning.

It was harder than my first day back to work. I did OK that morning when I dropped them off. It hit me when I was driving home to leave. I drive down the same road every day but I keep going down that road to pick up the kids. To go home, I exit early. When I exited, I started bawling.

I felt like I was leaving them behind. In my head, I knew it was silly but my heart hurt so bad. Of course, they were in good hands with our family members and I knew they'd be taken care of. It was a horrible feeling nonetheless. I'm sure everyone driving on the road was probably wondering what in the world was wrong with me.

I did manage to relax some once we got downtown but they were always in the back of my mind. I'd look at my watch and think about what they were doing.

Overall, we did have a nice time and I know it's important for us to have some "adult time". We stayed close to the Verizon Center at Hotel Monaco. I highly recommend it - it was beautiful and we felt so pampered. We grabbed dinner at a Spanish tapas restaurant, got to the game at 7:00 and then grabbed a few drinks afterwards.

I wish I could say we stayed out like the party arnimals of yesteryear but we were so excited to go back to the hotel so we could.......

sleep. Geez, get your mind outta the gutter!

It was good to catch up. Try not to stay away so long next time! :)

Where does the time go?

2010-04-03T18:28:00.000-07:00

Has it really been 2 weeks since I posted last? I honestly don't know where the time has gone. I guess I owe you an update, huh?

The twins will be 6 months old on Easter Day. They have their 6-month check up on the 14th and I'm assuming the pediatrician will give us the green light to start solids. I've decided to start trying them anyway and introduced rice cereal and pears this weekend. Not a lot. Just a taste. Both kids are definitely interested when we're eating food. Christopher has started reaching for cups and glasses when we're drinking. Anyway, both of them gagged and got this look on their faces like I was trying to poison them. We'll try a little each day and hopefully we'll make some progress.

Christopher

Smiles and laughs at everything
Is close to cutting his first tooth
Can roll from his tummy to his belly
Can grasp toys
Loves, loves, loves his Daddy. They are best buddies

Kendall

She's still a little more serious but she is smiling and laughing now too
Loves to play in her "Jump Jump"
Loves the McDonald's "Filet o' Fish" song
Is also teething but I think she's probably about 2 weeks behind her brother
Can also grasp toys

DH started a new job in January and it looks like he will be travelling fairly often. He took one trip in March and was gone 3 days. Now, he's leaving Monday, 4/05 and won't be home until Thursday evening. I tried to solicit help but no one was really available so I'll be alone this time. Breathe in, breathe out. It still stresses me out.

April 9th is my big 4-0 birthday. It wasn't bothering me until about 2 weeks ago. Make a note to yourself that it's not wise to schedule multiple doctor's appointments before a significant birthday.

Routine eye exam. I have horrible eyesight and my prescription changed slightly. My doctor told me that if I have to go up any more, I'd probably be looking at the possibility of bi-focals. Nice.
I've had this red, scaly, patchy "rash" on my arms for several years. It doesn't itch or hurt so I've just ignored it. I figured it was eczema and psoriosis? Any way, I decided to have it looked at last week. Um yeah. That's NOT what it is. It's something called Disseminated Superficial Actinic Porokeratosis (DSAP). It's an uncommon, hereditary "super sensitivity" to the sun. It occurs most often on sun damaged skin, which explains why it's on my arms. In 10-15% of cases, it can turn to squamous cell carcinoma so the doctor took a chunk out of my arm for a biopsy. I won't get the results until April 12th. The doctor said it's not considered a serious condition but I will have to wear 30+ SPF any time I'm in the sun.

I got a new camera for Christmas and I'm still learning how to take decent photos with it. I decided to have a little photo shoot today.

Christopher

Kendall

Oh, What A Difference

2010-03-17T16:12:00.000-07:00

St Patricks Day, 2005
Picture with Chris Samuels, Washington Redskins
(Started drinking at 10:00 am)

St. Patricks Day, 2007
My sister and me
(Started drinking at 12:00 pm)

St Patricks 2009
4 days past positive HPT; anxiously awaiting first Beta. Completely clueless on what was baking in ma uterus.

St Patricks 2010

My little leprachauns

Easter Bunnies

2010-03-12T15:40:00.000-08:00

Milkawhaaattttt?

2010-03-04T16:46:00.000-08:00

I just love the commercials for E-trade with the little baby who talks. The newest one with his girlfriend cracks me up. Milkawhaattttt?

Anyway, I think I have 2 milkaholics on my hands. They are officially on "regular" formula and not the high-cal preemie stuff. So far, so good. In this post, I talked about Christopher and his gas/possible reflux issues. I did ask the pediatrician at their 4-month check-up and he felt like it wasn't reflux based on my description. So, I'm hoping some of his discomfort will ease up with the switch to this other formula. In the meantime, we're using Mylicon after every bottle and it helps but he does still have good and bad days.

The twins are now 5 months old and I can't believe how quickly time has gone by. I look at them every day in pure and simple amazement. They have gone from such fragile, little babies to hearty, thriving infants. They now weigh about 16 lbs each so they have totally caught up to what a 5-month old should be weighing. I was so proud when they actually charted on the growth chart for a baby the same age.

I've been back to work now for about 6 weeks and things are going fine. The babies have adjusted well to daycare and they always seem both happy and exhausted. I think 2 of my nieces play with them alot so I'm glad they are also getting that interaction with other children. I'm still a little worried about my SIL and her workload. She is constantly on the go and juggling multiple things at once (her PT job, her own kids and their activities). I worry that she's spreading herself too thin. If that's the case, something will have to give and I'm guessing it would be daycare. She's a grown woman and I just have to trust that she'll know her capacity.

I do have a bit of other news. I can announce it here because no one knows me IRL. My sister is expecting their 2nd child. I am absolutely thrilled! She's almost 13 weeks and everything looks great. She had her NT scan earlier this week and they saw a nasal bone so that's one point against Down Syndrome. She turns 35 this year so she's technically "advanced age" (whatever) so she's having all of the tests to make sure.

So, now the gender waiting game begins. I've mentioned before that my Christopher is the only boy in the family. So far, we have 6 girls and him. I don't think I'll be one of those moms that freaks out if he starts to play with dolls but I'll be honest. I want him to be a little boy. I want to throw a football with him and I want him to play with trucks. When my nieces started calling him "Chrissie" and talking about painting his nails, I thought, "Oh, poor Christopher. We need another boy".

We need another boy. C'mon boy!

Oh, Spring. Where are you?

2010-02-25T14:55:00.000-08:00

I am absolutely, positively OH-VAH winter. I mean, seriously? Isn't 6 feet of snow in a month's time enough?!

Thankfully, we missed the bullet on a storm that is hitting the NE right now but it's still 32 degrees with snow showers and 60 mph gusts here. Tree limbs are falling faster than ma pants on embryo transfer day. All we need now is for the electricity to go out and then we'd be FAAAAAAN-TASTIC.

I am clearly so ready for spring. I want to take my babies for a walk in the stroller. I want to dress them in cute little summer outfits. Hell, I want to get them dressed in only one layer of clothing, for crying out loud!

The stores? They just mock me. "Come in, come in! We have cute little spring dresses and jumpers for spring. Come in and look at them but we have absolutely no frickin' idea of when you'll be able to use them".

I sooooo want to buy them. I do. But, I hesitate because 1) I truly don't believe that spring will ever come and 2) my kids are growing so fast that I don't even know what size to buy.

I mean, they could be in 2T sizes by the time it finally makes it up to 70 degrees.

And, so. I wait.

(but in the meantime, here's some photos)

4 month check-up

2010-02-19T04:45:00.000-08:00

The twins had their 4-month check up and vaccinations on Wednesday. They are doing terrific and the doctor seemed very, very pleased with their progress and development.

Amazingly, they are still very close in size. Christopher weighed 14 1/2 lbs and Kendall was slightly heavier at 14 lbs, 7 oz. They were exactly the same height at 25 inches. If you compare them to other 2 month olds (which is their adjusted age), they are in the 75-90% percentile across the board.

Suuuuuper babies!

He was so pleased with their weight gain that we get to take them off the preemie formula and put them on regular Enfamil. I wish I could say it was a cost savings but I don't think it will be. At least the good news is that we can buy it in larger cans now. The Enfacare was only available in 12.5 oz cans so I was buying a case every week at $90 a pop. We'll wait until they are 6 months old before introducing solids. The doc said preemies' stomachs are more sensitive and generally can't handle solids quite yet. So, that will start in April.

The other good news is that they received their last RSV shot. He initially said they'd get one per month during RSV season, which typically runs through March. But, because of their size, he felt they wouldn't need that last shot. That's great news for us because this month's was pretty damn expensive. One shot is $1,800 per child. I have a $1,000 deductible and then I'm responsible for 20% of the cost so our out-of-pocket JUST for February was $1,500. Crazy, huh? Oh well, what are you gonna do? It's only money and my kids' health is more important.

Developmentally, they are right on track. Both are holding their heads up without any support and they are starting to sit upright more. They still need a little help or else they face plant into the sofa. Within the last 2 weeks, they have discovered their hands and are now starting to reach out for items. Christopher is a drooling machine right now. I don't see any tooth buds yet but they have to be coming. Can anyone tell me how long the drooling goes on before they actually cut a tooth?

I was driving the kids home from daycare the other day and glanced back into the mirrors that I have set up so I can see them. Christopher was rubbing his hand back and forth across the wool that lines his car seat cover. He just kept stroking it and rubbing it and then he'd grab it and then stroke it again.. It was so cute.
Christopher is definitely the happy-go-lucky guy. He thinks everything is funny and nothing bothers him. His favorite game is to sit on your lap and play the drums on your stomach or touching his ears with his hands. He just giggles and squeals. I don't know why it's so much fun, but it is.

Kendall absolutely loves to swing. The swing has 2 toys on the tray and she just talks and talks to one of them. I think she has a thing for cows. She just stares at the cow and coos and ahhs and oohs. Her eyes get all wide and bright. She isn't quite giggling out loud yet but she has the biggest grin and cutely crinkles her nose when she smiles. I think Kendall is going to be a chatty Cathy. If I imitate her sounds, we'll have a conversation for a good 5 minutes. She has my personality and tends to be a little more serious. She stares at and studies people. You can see her little mind working as she watches and takes it in.

I never really thought about how different boys and girls are until I started to compare mine. Christopher masters the physical stuff quicker and Kendall is mastering communication better. Hum? It develops that early.

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T16:48:00.000-08:00

Snowmageddon

2010-02-10T07:55:00.000-08:00

So, this is what the end of the world looks like. We have blizzard conditions with 45 mph winds and we're expecting 8-12 inches today. When it's all over, we'll have over 45 inches of snow.

Here's a few more photos. They don't even begin to show what this actually looks like. I just keep looking out the window and shaking my head. It is absolutely amazing.

This is the sidewalk and snow trail leading from my front door.

This is what I see out my back door. The snow is almost up to the top of the deck railing, which is 5 ft tall.

This is what I see when I'm sitting on my couch. The snow is higher than the couch in the picture. Ignore the pile of trash, we can't get to our trash can so we've been piling it outside the door. I know, it's classy.

Snow piled up on grill and trash can

This is DH trying to get to his car. He's 6 ft tall and the snow is up to his mid-thigh.

View of my neighbor's cars. The snow piles from shoveling and plowing are taller than the cars.

And, since we're stuck in the house, of course I've been taking pictures of the kids.

OMG - Seriously?!

2010-02-09T17:36:00.000-08:00

We officially got 32 inches of snow on Saturday. 32 inches! That's the most snow I've EVER seen in my entire life! It is insane.

And, now?

10+ inches coming tonight.

I am SO, SO ready for spring!

30 inches and counting

2010-02-06T09:10:00.000-08:00

Blizzard of 2010

Started snowing yesterday at 9:30 am and will continue until at least 6:00 pm tonight. We've been averaging an inch an hour with some bands coming through and producing 2-3 inches/hour.

Unbelievable.

Caught Ya!

2010-02-03T16:04:00.000-08:00

We Miss You, Kaly Bear

2010-01-31T11:23:00.000-08:00

One year ago today, we lost our sweet Kaly. We miss you every day.

Twin Boppy?

2010-01-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

April at StrongBlonde asked what the pillow bed was that the twins were sleeping on in my last post. It's actually a homemade twin boppy using my Snoogle pregnancy pillow. I was using the Boppy newborn loungers but the twins are both too tall for them now and started to slide off the bottom. One day, I ran downstairs to change out the laundry while they were sleeping and when I came back up, Christopher was almost sliding off on to the couch / floor.

So, I took my Snoogle and wrapped it around one of the loungers. That created the shape and gave a little support in the bottom. And then I took a crib sheet and wrapped it around to keep everything together. So far, it has worked fabulously! I searched and searched on-line and couldn't find anything comparable to the newborn loungers that was big enough for twins.

I also wanted to have something where the twins could sleep together and touch each other (getting back to my fear of them missing out on bonding earlier). When they layed on the loungers by themselves, they were on seperate pillows and never could reach out and touch each other.

DH thinks we could be millionaires with my new invention. Do you think the "Sham-Wow" guy would sell it for me? :)

Bed Hog

2010-01-27T05:20:00.000-08:00

She clearly takes after her father

And a few more:

My Last Week

2010-01-25T06:44:00.000-08:00

This is my last week before I head back to work.

I think I'm ready. Don't get me wrong, I am very, very thankful I've been off for the last 4 months but I'm ready to get part of my "old" life back.

Maybe I'm a little weird.... I like working.  I like contributing and putting in a good day's work. I like to be recognized for my accomplishments. I like to know that I've done something.

And, after the last month, I've realized that being a stay at home mom is not for me. I have LOVED the time that I've spent with my kids but it has become very monotonous.

Diaper change, bottle, nap. Diaper change, bottle, nap. Diaper change, bottle, nap.

I think part of the monotony is from being stuck in the house. I'm sure it's different as the seasons change. Having the twins in winter has been hard because we can't get out of the house very easily. Sure we could walk around the mall but it never seems worth it. By the time we finish with a feeding, I only have a 2 hour window before it's time to eat again. When you figure in drive time and packing and unpacking the car, that leaves an hour. When I weigh all of that, it seems easier to just stay home. No kidding, I have gone 2 weeks without leaving the house.

We did have a 60 degree day last week and I took them for a walk in the stroller and that was awesome! Even something as simple as that helps to break up the day.

There is a large part of me that is a little sad. After spending every waking hour with the kids, it makes me sad to think that my time with them will be reduced to an hour in the morning, a few hours in the evenings and weekends. If I could find a half-way point and figure out how to work part-time, I think I would be one happy camper. But, I make just enough to count and there's no way we could live on one salary.

This week, DH and I are practicing our routine to prepare for my return to work.  We got up and practiced everything up to driving.  Here's my schedule from here on out. Ugh! 4 am?!

4:00 am              Alarm goes off*
4:00 - 5:00 am    Feeding
5:00 - 6:00 am    Shower and dress while DH gets kids dressed and ready
6:00 - 6:30 am    Drive to daycare
6:30 - 7:00 am    Drive to work
7:00 - 3:30 pm    Work
3:45 pm              Pick up kids from daycare
4:30 pm              Arrive back home, prep for another feeding and somehow try to start dinner** before Daddy gets home at 6:00 pm.

* Unless the kids wake up first but for the last 2 weeks, they've been sleeping until 4-5:00 am.
** Anyone have any good, low-prep dinner recipes?

This morning went well and I would have been ready to walk out the door at 5:50 am. Hopefully every morning goes that smoothly. Ha!

I know the first 2 weeks or so are going to be rough. We've been used to getting up at 4-5 am anyway and I've been trying not to take naps during the day but I do have that option.

I'm pretty sure my boss would frown upon me crawling under my desk for a cat nap (although the parking garage might start to look very appealing).

"I Don't Like You"

2010-01-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

I think that's what Kendall is saying to her brother every time I try to sit them next to each other.

With Kendall's hospital stays, I've been worried they missed out on some very important bonding time. I don't know if there is a specific time that is best with twins but, I would assume it starts in the womb and is supposed to continue after birth.

From the time they were born, they have been apart. In the NICU, they were in seperate isolettes. And, then Kendall was in the hospital for 2 weeks and then 3 weeks later, for another 3 weeks.

Since I've been home with them, I have tried to lay them beside each other to see if they would interact.

They don't. At all.

Now, I know they are still really young (2 months adjusted age) but it still worries me. Within a few minutes, one of them starts crying (usually Kendall) and they act like they want nothing to do with each other.

Mothers of twins, when did your twins start interacting with each other?

Losing My Sh&#

2010-01-18T14:09:00.000-08:00

Today has not been a good day. Before I vent, I just want to put a disclaimer that I'm about to complain about my day and taking care of my twins. So, if you are TTC or just don't care, kindly skip this post. I just need to get this out so I can de-stress.

Today was rough. The twins have been sleeping well at night (knock on wood). We usually give them their last bottle no later than 9:30 pm and try to have them in bed by 10:00. They have been sleeping until 4-4:30 am for about a week now.

Heaven, pure heaven.

This morning started like any other morning. We got up at 4:45 am and gave them their first bottles of the day. DH went back to bed and I slept on the couch with the babies on their boppies. DH left for work around 8:30 am and that's when all hell broke lose.

I am convinced they wait until I'm alone. I'm sure of it.

Christopher started crying so I figured he was hungry and made his bottle. He drank most of it but continued to be really fussy and antsy. He tends to get gas (haven't really figured out what's causing it because he doesn't get it everyday?) so I gave him some Mylicon and expected him to settle down.

Uh, no. He would only stop crying if I held him.

All. Day. Long.

He would start to fall asleep in my arms and I'd be able to put him down and then Kendall would start fussing.

And, then they would both start ~~crying~~ screaming. I counted and the longest I went without someone crying was 5 minutes. All. Day. Long.

At one point, I had to walk away because I felt like I was going to lose my shit. I just didn't know what else to do for them. I couldn't hold both of them for more than a few minutes at a time before my arms got tired and it was clear that whatever I was doing, it wasn't right. It's the most helpless feeling.... ever. I completely understand the "Fight or Flight" response. I wanted to run away (no, I would never leave my babies... it's just how I felt).

Kendall finally went to sleep for about an hour and Christopher did for a whopping 20 minutes before he woke up screaming again. At this point, it was close to 2:30 pm and I had been dealing with the crying for almost 5 hours (and that's not including my own).

I took his temperature and it was normal so I gave him more Mylicon. More gas. What the hell?

It took me all day to fold one load of laundry and I am exhausted. It's 5:00 pm EST and this is the first time all day they are both sleeping at the same time.

This does bring me some concern. I start back to work in 2 weeks and my SIL is going to watch them. I have tried to explain that she might have days like today but until you experience it, you can't understand it.

I mean, I am their mother and I felt like I was losing my shit today. She has 2 kids, ages 8 and 4, so I'm sure she has experienced everything. I'm sure it's just me and my first-time momminess.

Tomorrow has got to be a better day. Right?!

Confidence

2010-01-12T13:43:00.000-08:00

The twins are 14 weeks old now (6 weeks adjusted). Time has gone by so quickly. I still look at them and find myself in disbelief that they are here and they are mine.

It all started with a little hope and a lot of shots. It looks so simple when it's all wrapped up in a small sentence. Unbelieveable.

After 14 weeks, you'd think I would have plenty of confidence in myself and my abilities as a mother. Do I feel more confident than when they were 2 weeks old? Absolutely.

It's been the twins and I, alone, for the last 7 work days and with each day, I am growing more confident. But, I still have lots of doubts.  I don't necessarily doubt my ability to be a mother, it's more my ability to understand how to help my babies. To figure out what they need.

Would I feel differently if I had one baby? Probably. I'm not going to lie - the thought of them outnumbering me scared the hell out of me. What if they gang up on me and take over the house?!

Each day has brought a new milestone.  Figuring out how to feed them at the same time no longer gives me a knot in my stomach. Listening to one cry while I console the other no longer panics me.

Today, we had our first outing. I know, you're probably thinking, "Big deal" but to me, it was a huge accomplishment for several reasons. Since they were born, I've been very protective of them. They were so small and born so early. And then, Kendall got sick. And then she got sick again.   Over the last 3 months, they have only been out of the house for doctor's appointments and New Years Eve. I read the blogs of women who had their babies within a few weeks of mine and they are taking their kids all sorts of places.

In pub-lic!   I have turned into one of those mothers, "Oooooh, the germs"! I completely realize that my babies can't live in a bubble all of their lives so I have started to let go a little.

So, last week was our first venture into pub-lic. We went to the mall for an hour (I had my "Back Off" face on the whole time).

Today, I took them to my office to see all of my co-workers. I packed all of their gear plus anti-bacterial lotion, Lysol and hospital masks. OK, I'm joking about the Lysol.

Confidence builder #1 - we have broken out of the bubble.

Confidence builder #2 - I took them out by myself.

I'm pretty proud of myself today.

And, since it's been awhile, here's a few photos:

Octo-Mom

2010-01-07T04:29:00.000-08:00

OK, so I don't have 8 kids but I sure wish I had 8 arms!

The good news? After 4 days alone with mommy, the twins are still alive. The bad news? Mommy is exhausted!

For the most part, being alone with them has gone well. Kendall started running a fever late Monday afternoon and I immediately got that sinking feeling in my stomach. One dose of Tylenol and it came right down and now she's got pinkeye so the doctor thinks it was just a virus. Pinkeye is a piece of cake compared to what she's been through!

I'm still trying to find "my groove". My biggest worry was figuring out how to feed them. I thought it was a good idea to feed them at the same time so I found a hands free bottle system by Podee that I thought was the greatest invention ever. The bottle has a tube that runs from the bottle to the nipple and the baby sucks on the nipple like a pacifier. I tested it a few times before Monday and both babies were able to use it.

Feeling very confident, we plopped down Monday afternoon with our Podee bottles and the twins weren't having it. It takes quite a bit of suck to get the milk flowing and neither was playing that game. They kept spitting out the nipple. I think it's still a great invention but I think the twins need to be a little older to use them. They just got super frustrated and started screaming at the top of their lungs.

And, trust me. They have some lungs!

By Monday evening, I was worn out. My intent was to let DH come home from work and have time to relax before thrusting a baby at him but Monday, I couldn't help it.

Tuesday was a completely different day. I decided to stagger feed them and that's working much better. They have been eating on demand but for my sanity, I'm keeping them on a 3 1/2 - 4 hour schedule. It's easier to anticipate when I need to prepare the bottles and to allow myself time to get stuff done when they are napping. Plus, I think they eat better when they get one-on-one attention.

We've started to get a nighttime routine going and we're reaping the benefits (hopefully I don't jinx myself). They get their last bottle between 8-9 pm and we put them to bed by 10:00. The last 2 nights, they have slept until 4:30 am! 6 consecutive hours of sleep? Can you believe it?!

Today is a very exciting day because my sister is coming for the day. She lives close by so we see her all of the time but it will be nice to have an extra set of hands and oh, some adult interaction. I think we might venture to the mall today. I've been so paranoid about taking them out anywhere and for the most part, they have been living in the protected bubble of our home. The mall should be pretty dead during the day and we should be able to avoid a huge amount of gawkers.