Birth Story and Thankful

Now that things have calmed down a bit, I've had some time to reflect on the events of the past 3 weeks.  I hinted at my birth story when I announced the twins' arrival but I still haven't given details.  So, here goes:

I noticed an increase in Braxton-Hicks contractions starting Thursday, 10/01.  I was generally uncomfortable with some pelvic pressure and lower back ache.  I knew Christopher was lying really low so I just figured it was him pressing on my bladder.  I decided to take the following day off from work but I woke up feeling better.

That Saturday, I spent the day with my family at my sister's house and still felt fine all day.  Sunday, the pelvic pressure and back ache returned but it was intermittent.  The one change I did notice was that I constantly felt like I had to pee but when I tried to go, it was barely worth the effort.  As the day went on, the back ache became a little more uncomfortable but not unbearable.  I still didn't think anything of the "symptoms" and figured I had reached that point of pregnancy where I was going to miserable.

Around 4:30 pm, I got up to go to the bathroom (again) and again, barely anything.  I leaned forward to make sure my bladder was empty and started peeing like crazy.  Like I drank a 6-pack and held it for 10 days.  After a minute, I thought, "What in the world?!"  so I looked in the water and it was bright red.

Thank God I knew about the placenta previa so I wasn't caught completely off-guard but it still scared the crap out of me.  It was a lot of blood.

I opened the bathroom door and yelled to DH, "I need you to grab a pad - I'm bleeding and I think my water just broke - we're going to the hospital NOW!"

We were out the door in 5 minutes and walking through the hospital doors within 10 minutes.  I was taken to a Triage room where I was hooked up to monitors to track the babies' heart rates.  I was most worried about Christopher.  Was there fluid left around him?  Was his placenta detaching?   The nurse announced they both looked good but I was still so scared.  She kept saying, "It's going to be OK.  They are 32 weeks and they'll be fine."

At that point, I wasn't having any contractions but still feeling the pelvic pressure.  They ordered an ultrasound to measure the fluid and to view the placenta previa.  Christopher's head was in the way of viewing the placenta so they had a really hard time telling whether I was just bleeding or if my water really broke.  Since I was diagnosed with a complete previa, my water shouldn't have broken so the doctor was really confused.  They finally had to do a transvaginal u/s and could see that the previa was partial and that my cervix had dilated enough for my water to break.  Once they figured that out, I was admitted to the hospital.

During the ultrasound, I noticed some cramping and the back ache came back but it wasn't bad.  On a scale of 1-10, I gave it a 2.  The doctor said it was normal when bleeding occurs and he thought it would subside.  I was wheeled to a permanent room and he told me that I was now on complete bed rest and that I wouldn't be leaving the hospital until I delivered.  He wanted to try to make it to 34 weeks and would only do a c-section if 1) I went into labor, 2) I developed an infection or 3) the babies became distressed.

About an hour after he left, the contractions started picking up.  The nurse came in and asked, "Are you feeling all of those contractions?".  I said, "yes" and she said, "You're really knocking them out - you're having them every 1-2 minutes".  At that point, I was rating them a 6-7 on a scale of 10.  They continued to monitor me for another 30 minutes or so and then the nurse said she was going to call the doctor back - it was obvious that it wasn't going away.  She came back a few minutes later and said we were doing the c-section in 30 minutes.

I was wheeled into the operating room and given the epidural.  Todd came in about 10 minutes later and they got started.  Within minutes, I heard Christopher crying and I looked at Todd and said, "That's the best sound ever".  A minute later, we heard Kendall.  Todd got up and went over to their cribs and I was trying to see them but all of these people were in the way and I had a sheet pulled up that was about 2 inches from my nose.

At that point, I thought everything was still going according to plan. I heard the doctor say, "Suction, please" and then about 5 minutes later, he said, "I need a mop, 2 units of blood and my hysterectomy kit."  I heard it but still didn't think anything was wrong.  Everyone in the room stayed very calm.  I could only see the anesthesiologist so I finally asked, "Am I having a hysterectomy?".  He said, "yes, you've had some complications and lost a lot of blood".  Then, I heard him say, "Her blood pressure is 80/30" and he named about 4 different medications that he needed plus another unit of blood.

About that time, I started shaking really bad and felt really cold.  I tried and tried to stop shaking but I couldn't.  And then I got really sleepy.  I remember the anesthesiologist asking how I was feeling and I said, "I feel really sleepy.  Can I go to sleep?" and then I was sort of in and out.  I remember another anesthesiologist coming into the room to help and he put another IV in my hand to start the blood transfusion.  I remember asking if the epidural was still working and that gave the anesthesiologist quite a laugh.  Clearly, it was.

It seemed like I layed on the operating table forever.  And, then it was done and I was moved to a bed and taken to recovery.  I stayed in recovery for 2 hours and they kept checking to see if the epidural was wearing off.  The nurse would take a pin and start at my neck and ask, "Can you feel that?" and then work her way down until I couldn't feel it.   I have to say that it is the weirdest feeling.  She kept asking if I could move my feet and I would try really hard but nothing would happen. 

At that point, I still didn't know the severity of what happened.  Everyone who saw me kept saying that I lost a lot of blood but I didn't really know what that meant.  I continued to get blood throughout the night and was closely monitored every 30 minutes.

The next morning, the doctor came in to check on me and gave me more details.  The placenta previa was a placenta accreta and had implanted so deeply in my uterine wall that it became intertwined with my blood vessels.  When he tried to remove it, he cut into my blood vessels and that's when I hemorrhaged. He apologized for having to do the hysterectomy and said, "I had to do it to save your life" and then he told me the average person has 5,000 cc of blood and I lost 2,500 in about 20 minutes. 

The hysterectomy part of it hasn't bothered me.  I mentioned before that we decided we were done trying to conceive after the last cycle, regardless of whether I got pregnant.  He left my ovaries and cervix so I shouldn't need any hormone support.  I just won't have any more periods.  Who could get mad at that?

I never thought in a million years that the delivery would go the way it did.  The words, "to save your life" have haunted me.  I'm so thankful to have healthy kids and to be here.  I've heard of people dying during childbirth but always thought, "How does that happen?".  Now I know. 

Thinking that things could have gone differently plays in my mind and I can't imagine not being here to see the babies smile. 

I'm just so thankful.