Suckity suckity suck suck

I mentioned in my last post that my cat is sick.  They think she has cancer. 

Notice I said "think".  Because, you know.  Nothing is EVER easy.

They've done bloodwork, an ultrasound and a fine needle aspirate.  We've spent almost $2,000 for a diagnosis of "we think".

I've done a lot of research and, to their credit, distinguishing between liver cancer and liver disease is hard.  The symptoms mirror each other almost identically.  Some of her test results aren't definitive but they are pointing more toward cancer than an infection. With today's technology, you'd think they would figure out a way to identify one from the other.

If it is cancer, we have 2-6 months left with her.  If it's liver disease or a form of hepatitis, we could have 6 months to 2 years.

And, so we wait.  The vet has offered other tests that could be more conclusive but the $2,000 we've already spent has cut into our already tight budget.  We could pursue chemo for another $5,000 but there's no guarantee it will work and at best, it might buy her another year.

So, we've opted to do what we can to keep her happy and when the time comes, we'll say goodbye.  For now, she's still eating, drinking and remains active.  But, every time I see her, it breaks my heart.

She's my first baby.  We've had her since she was 8 weeks old and we're going on 13 years now.  She comes down to get me when it's time for bed, she waits for me to wash my face and she sleeps with me every night. 

How can having a pet be so great and suck so much at the same time?  You always know this day will come but somehow, we're never prepared. 

Christopher has grown very attached to her.  When she comes downstairs, he runs over and pets her and hugs her.  He's so gentle.

Part of me is thankful that we're dealing with this now instead of next year when the kids will truly understand that the kitty is gone.  I don't know if I'm ready to see the heartbreak of a child who has lost a pet.  That "heaven" conversation is awfully hard.

Have a good night everyone.  I'm going to snuggle with my kitty.