I know, I know.
I'm a loser.
I have a failed cycle and I disappear.
I have been lurking and reading everyone's blogs but I haven't had anything to say so I don't.
Frankly, I'm in a weird place.
Many people are starting to talk about the upcoming holidays and how much they are dreading the utter disregard for our situation.
Trust me, I know.
I am anticipating at least 4 holiday cards with babies on them.
Will I keep them?
Absolutely!
For about 30 seconds... and then they are going right in the trash.
No disrespect to the senders. I'm sure they think most people will appreciate the sentiment.
I just don't have any place for them.
So, instead, I am focusing on Thanksgiving dinner!
Yes, that's right! I can't have a baby but I sure as hell can look like I'm about to!
Seriously, Thanksgiving is my favorite! I love to cook so it's like the SuperBowl of Food for me.
I sit for hours looking through cookbooks and searching on-line for any new recipe to try.
Call me weird but a new recipe is like good sex to me.
Uh huh. That's right. I said it.
So, you're probably thinking right about now, "What's the point, weird girl"?
I guess my point is this. Focus on the good things about the holidays: family, catching up with old friends, taking time for yourself, finishing that project you started (making a baby is excluded, by the way!), doing the things that you enjoy.
Or, did enjoy before your life was turned upside down by infertility.
We were people before all of this started. Fun people.
Having a baby is only part of my life. I don't want to lose the other parts of me.
So, eat an extra slice of pumpkin pie, have a second glass of wine and enjoy yourself.
You have my permission.
8 comments:
lol, I agree, let's eat until we look like we have babies in there:) I am almost there!
I am always on the hunt for good vegetarian recipes for thanksgiving...I think we are going to try an apple tart this year:) I love cooking!
i just came across your blog and what a great post to read first. i find it so difficult to be the person i was before IF; it is my greatest challenge. some days i am successful, others i crash and burn.
way to keep such a positive attitude. :)
I hear you - I am trying so hard to regain my life, my personality, any happiness, hobbies, etc. I really feel like my life has been on hold for so long. I am starting IVF#3 on Tuesday - I am also taking my hubby, stepson and one of his buddies to a hockey game - and you know what - screw it, I am tired of hiding in my house - I am going to shoot my lupron up on the bathroom of the hockey arena - I made my DH laugh out loud talking about getting busted shooting up menopur - I would be like "it is the urine of post menopausal women - this is some good sh**, the street market is incredible". By this comment you will be able to tell that nothing you put in your post is weird to me!!!
First off, can I come visit for Thanksgiving? I love people who love to cook. (:
It's okay to be in a weird place with this stuff. Disappear as you need to, but know we are here anytime you need us.
Great attitude, BTW. Some days are so much harder, but keeping the mind busy and moving forward is definitely a step in the right direction. (:
Suzanne,
If there wasn't so much pain within your post it would be downright hilarious!
I'm happy you're taking time to enjoy the holidays, your family, friends, etc.
I've mentioned this before, you're very gutsy for trying new recipes when having guests over :o).
Wishing you all the best,
and it's always okay to take it easy. I wouldn't want you to lose the other parts of you either--you've got a killer sense of humor!
Happy holidays,
Anna
Love it. Absolutely love it! You are SOOOOOOOOO right. Just last night I realized how much I have changed and how much I don't want to be this bitter person I have become. You are so right, I too will be trying to regain my life. There IS more to life than having a baby.
I think you should do whatever makes you happiest! FWIW, I'm already dreading all of the Christmas cards with babies/families. I will get no less than 20 of them. Blah.
Happy cooking and keep hanging in there.
Here, here!!
It's hard, but there are many good things to the holiday. I too wish I could join you for Thanksgiving ... I'll pull a chair next to Brenda!
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