Kendall had her central IV line inserted today and it required sedation. She did fine during the procedure and recovered well. I left the hospital around 12:30 so I could get Christopher to his doctor's appointment and just as I was pulling in front of my house, the hospital called.
Kendall had another "breathing episode" right after I left. Her heart rate, blood pressure and respirations dropped suddenly. The doctor said they were still investigating and trying to figure out what was going on but warned me that she might be moved back to the ICU. Her body temperature also dropped all the way down to 92. That's lower than what it was when she got first got admitted.
I immediately burst into tears. I don't know how much more of this I can take. She is so little and has already endured so much. I just want my baby to come home.
I called the doctor back about 30 minutes later and they placed her in a warming bed and got her body temperature back up. He also suspected that she had a reaction to the medicine used to sedate her and he administered some meds to reverse the effects. He said once he did that, she pinked up, perked up and started crying.
As of 5pm EST, she was still stable and was able to take 1 oz of formula so hopefully this was a temporary setback and she'll be back to recovering.
We did get some good news on Christopher. His labwork came back normal so as of today, he does not appear to be infected. He also made some significant progress with his weight gain and weighed exactly 6 lbs today. Such a big boy!
I'm feeling so torn. I feel like I need to stay with her at the hospital but I also feel guilty for leaving Christopher. I feel guilty for being able to hold, hug and kiss Christopher while she's still so sick. If there were a way to clone myself, I'd be first in line. I'm operating on fumes at this point. I'm fortunate to get 3 hours of sleep a day and my life is based in 3-4 hour increments. I'm living for the next task - pumping, feeding, driving to the hospital. I didn't eat anything today until 4:00. I'm so tired but I can't spare the time to sleep. I have to keep going for my babies.
9 comments:
Hang in there! Praying for you and your family. And please, find time to eat! You can't afford to get sick too!
I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers and hoping that little Kendall heals up soon and comes home.
My MIL and FIL had triplets (31+ years ago) at 27 weeks gestation. The boys spent between 2-3 months in the NICU (they came home at different times) and they still are affected by how traumatic those days were, living from one crisis to the next and living in the hospital, so I can only begin to imagine how hard this is for you. I know this is easier said than done, but I really hope you get some sleep and nourishment. I would hate for anything to happen to you.
Hoping that it was just the sedation medication! You take care of yourself. Your babies need a healthy mommy who can give them all the nurture and care... including ample supply of food (bm)!
Sending prayers!!! Please try to take care of yourself!!!
I think of you often and are praying for your precious little pair. Please please take care of yourself. You need to eat to be strong for them and for your milk, but I know the feeling. I too can sometimes hardly find time to eat, so I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. Big big hugs to the three of you.
You all are in my thoughts. Please try to take care of yourself.
Yes, you have to eat, or your milk supply will diminish! I am so sorry about Kendall. Praying for you girl!! :)
Sending prayers your way, it must be so hard for you. Do you have any family close by who could help?
You def. need to eat and take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of anyone else. Stay strong.
Still praying for your girl. Also keeping tired mommy in my prayers too!
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