It all started with a little hope and a lot of shots. It looks so simple when it's all wrapped up in a small sentence. Unbelieveable.
After 14 weeks, you'd think I would have plenty of confidence in myself and my abilities as a mother. Do I feel more confident than when they were 2 weeks old? Absolutely.
It's been the twins and I, alone, for the last 7 work days and with each day, I am growing more confident. But, I still have lots of doubts. I don't necessarily doubt my ability to be a mother, it's more my ability to understand how to help my babies. To figure out what they need.
Would I feel differently if I had one baby? Probably. I'm not going to lie - the thought of them outnumbering me scared the hell out of me. What if they gang up on me and take over the house?!
Each day has brought a new milestone. Figuring out how to feed them at the same time no longer gives me a knot in my stomach. Listening to one cry while I console the other no longer panics me.
Today, we had our first outing. I know, you're probably thinking, "Big deal" but to me, it was a huge accomplishment for several reasons. Since they were born, I've been very protective of them. They were so small and born so early. And then, Kendall got sick. And then she got sick again. Over the last 3 months, they have only been out of the house for doctor's appointments and New Years Eve. I read the blogs of women who had their babies within a few weeks of mine and they are taking their kids all sorts of places.
In pub-lic! I have turned into one of those mothers, "Oooooh, the germs"! I completely realize that my babies can't live in a bubble all of their lives so I have started to let go a little.
So, last week was our first venture into pub-lic. We went to the mall for an hour (I had my "Back Off" face on the whole time).
Today, I took them to my office to see all of my co-workers. I packed all of their gear plus anti-bacterial lotion, Lysol and hospital masks. OK, I'm joking about the Lysol.
Confidence builder #1 - we have broken out of the bubble.
Confidence builder #2 - I took them out by myself.
I'm pretty proud of myself today.
And, since it's been awhile, here's a few photos:
6 comments:
I can't believe how big they're getting already - so adorable!
And DO NOT minimize how big of a deal it is/was to take them out both by yourself - that's huge! I don't have twins but I do have 5 children between 6 months and 10 years and I do whatever I can (within my power) to not take them all out when I am by myself - too darn stressful on all of us! The germ issue scared me too but I guess I figured that they can't live in a bubble forever. That being said, I should probably have bought stock in Purell!
Keep up the good work momma - you're doing great!
Jen
YEAH FOR YOU! I have only taken the boys out of the house once by myself, so you are ahead of me! Way to go; this is a huge accomplishment, and you shouldbe proud of yourself!
Absolutely adorable. They look happy and healthy and loved. Congrats!
Yay for taking them out for a visit! I give you lots of credit -- that had to be hard with two plus stressful for the first time!
They are so cute -- I love how smiley they are!
Hi! I just found your blog by coincidence. I just wanted to congratulate you, your twins are so cute and is a big deal that you take them out, believe I know, I'm twin of a boy and going out when we were little was a big deal and my mom had the same feelings that you, when we were new borns we only go out of the house for doctors appoinments.
So Good luck! they are so cute! and I'm sure you are a fantastic mom:)
XOXO
Totally Pinkaholic
What adorable little ones!!! Praying always!
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