Today is CD2 which means I'll start the bcp tomorrow. I've been waiting for this day for 6 months and not feeling anything like I thought I would. I woke up this morning - it wasn't one of those lazy, stretch it out, it's a Sunday morning wake-ups but, one of those sit straight up in bed "how in the hell did I get to be 38?" wake ups. What if this cycle doesn't work? What if they tell me I'll have to use donor eggs if I don't get pregnant this year? Part of me knows that I'm being a little bit ridiculous and for the love of god, we haven't started anything yet! But, what if the ectopic was the closest to pregnancy I'm going to get?
I went off birth control pills when I turned 30 and we've had unprotected sex for 7 years. 2 years ago, an HSG showed that both of my tubes were partially blocked. So, no use for Clomid and surgery wasn't a possibility. At the time, I wasn't sure if in vitro was for us. It's so damn expensive and my insurance didn't cover it and quite frankly, I didn't know if I wanted to go through it. Now, at (just barely) 38 years of age, it's the only thing I can think about. My time is limited and all I can hear is "tick....tick....tick".
3 comments:
Hi Suzanne,
How is it going with taking the pill? I completely understand waking up and worrying about all of the what-ifs. I don't know if there's anything I can say to help...just know that you're not alone.
Hi Wendy!
The pill is going fine so far. No side effects or issues. I just scheduled my mock embryo transfer and injection class today. It's exciting to FINALLY have something on the calendar - makes me feel like we're making progress.
Suzanne - I thought the mock transfer was pretty easy - the hardest part was having the full bladder! Our injection class was pretty quick and easy, too, so I'm sure yours will go just as well. Good luck with everything!
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