Today is my 39th birthday.
Did I ever think I'd be pregnant with twins today? Never in my wildest dreams.
You know, it's funny. The ectopic pregnancy happened October, 2007 and I vowed that I would be pregnant again by my birthday (April, 2008). I'm a pretty scheduled person and I like to have timelines. When it didn't happen, I had to learn to be flexible (which we all know is key when dealing with IF and especially with IVF).
As the months went by, I forgot about my birthday timeline and began to wonder if time had passed me by. If we just waited too long.
Now, I'm 39. And pregnant with twins. Part of me wonders, "What am I doing here"? I'm almost 40 and I'm getting ready to have my first child/children? Are we crazy?
I don't feel my age and Lord knows, my DH doesn't act his (he turned 40 in February). The thought of our ages when our kids graduate from high school scares the crap out of me. Were we selfish to wait so long? Are we placing a burden on our children when we can't function in 30 years?
I pray every day for God to give us the strength and courage to pull this off. He blessed us with 2 so he must believe in us, right?
If it were possible, would I turn back the clock and start this entire process 10 years earlier? Absolutely! But, we just weren't ready for kids yet. Hell, we weren't even married yet. We're different people now and we're as financially and emotionally ready as we're ever gonna be.
I just hope our bodies cooperate.
6 comments:
Happy Birthday! I had my first daughter at 38, then I have B-G twins at 42. I routinely contend that I can not possibly be old because I have children that are (insert current age of twins, right now 5) years old. I have IF problems, many of which I'm sure were caused by waiting to have kids. I don't regret that, though, because my husband and I started trying when we were ready.
Happy Birthday :-) Sounds to me like you didn't "wait" to have kids - you worked really hard to have kids and now you are nurturing your well deserved little ones.
EB
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY:) Hope that you have a great day!!!!
my good-ness
You tried for 8 years, that wasn't really waiting!
39/40 is still very young.
In 20 years, yes you may be older than some.
But will your beautiful twins ever care at all?
Nope.. I dont think so..
Happy Birthday.
Enjoy your day
x
happy birthday! i havent had a chance to say congrats on two babies. im so excited for you!
also, you are going to be fine! you did things the "right" way, in my opinion.
just think, your 40th birthday will be one huge celebration with 2 little ones!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for all you have written, it gives someone like me and my husband hope. We are just getting ready to start our first IVF cycle, and it has so far been a tough road. I have been keeping a journal and am now in the process of transferring it to a blog. Would love for you to check it out sometime and offer any words of wisdom you have. I'll be adding you to my blogroll.
Kindest regards,
Kate
http://onegoodswimmer.wordpress.com/
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