Top Ten

Top Ten Things I'm Thankful For:

10. 3 hours of sleep a night
9.  My pets
8.  Being a stronger person despite IF
7.  The ability to earn a living
6.  Having a roof over my head and food on my table
5.  My blog friends and followers
4.  My family
3.  My husband
2.  My health
1.  My babies

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

6 Weeks

The twins are 6 weeks old.  Already!

They are both doing awesome and I can't even begin to explain how wonderful it is to have my little Kendall home.

They had their 6-week check up yesterday and they are a growin'.  Christopher weighed exactly 7 lbs and was 19 1/2 inches long.  Kendall weighed 6.6 lbs and was 19 inches long.  I'm so glad Kendall continued to make strides while she was hospitalized.

She had another ultrasound done yesterday morning to check the blood clot in her leg.  The u/s tech couldn't find it so that was a good sign.  Her leg is looking much better and 99% of the swelling is gone. 

I decided to make an appointment to have some professional photographs taken.  It's a private photographer who has done some work for a friend of mine who also has boy/girl twins.  We'll do some family photos and some individual photos with some holiday themes thrown in.   I'm so excited!

In the meantime, here's a few more photos:

Together Again

Kendall was discharged from the hospital yesterday afternoon.

Life is good.  My babies are home and we're all together again.

I See The Light!

Kendall is close to coming home.  Her last day of antibiotics is Friday so, unless she experiences another complication, she'll be discharged on Saturday.

She is looking better with each day, eating and gaining weight.  She was 5.7 lbs yesterday morning. They did another ultrasound of her leg and the blood clot is still there but it showed there is more blood flow getting through the vein so it's getting better.  She has been holding her temperature consistently over the last 2 days.

After all of the fuss in my last post, I haven't received any additional information on her "swallow study" or any results from the "blood doctor".  Were they just looking to cash in with my insurance company?  I'll have to remember to ask her attending doctor this afternoon.

Here's a few pictures that we took of Kendall the other night.  Sorry for the quality, they were taken with a cell phone.

And, I would be a bad mommy if I didn't include a few pictures of Christopher.  He's doing great and weighed exactly 6 pounds at the pediatrician's last week.

I Cry "Uncle"

I'm tired of going to the hospital.  I just want my baby girl to come home. Every time we go, another potential problem is explained to us. 

They removed the central IV line the other night and we're hoping the smaller peripheral IV will continue to work for the next 7 days so we can continue her antibiotics and fluids.  Her leg looked a little better to me but it's still pretty swollen. 

They also decided to do an ultrasound of her head and found a small, Grade 1 brain bleed.  I know it is common in preemies but for the love of God, can we get a freakin' break?  The doctors don't seem overly concerned about it and said they don't expect any long-term effects.  There's no treatment so I guess it just stops bleeding on its own?

While I was visiting her last night, someone from speech therapy came in to evaluate her feeding.  They are concerned she might be aspirating (food going into her lungs) while she eats.  Personally, I think they are starting to overevaluate things at this point.  They called in the consult a few days ago because she wasn't eating that great.

Uh, duh?  She's been sick?  Who the hell eats when they are sick?

Since then, she has picked it up and has been taking about 2 oz at every feeding.  So now, they are recommending a swallow study for Monday.  They'll put barium in her milk and track where the fluid goes when she eats.

And then last night while she was being evaluated for that, another doctor comes in and introduces himself as the "blood doctor".  They are also concerned she might have a clotting disorder called Thombophilia because the clot in her leg developed so quickly.

When I asked the doctor if clotting after that procedure was extremely uncommon, he said "no".   I'm thinking, "Then why are you here"?  We have no family history of blood disorders and according to the March of Dimes website, that condition only occurs in about 2% of the population.

I guess I'm starting to get a little aggrevated.  I know they are only looking out for Kendall's health and best interests but it would be nice to go for a visit and not have another doctor telling me that something else could be wrong with her.

On the brightside, she is now in an open-air crib again and got moved back down to the regular pediatric unit.  She looked good last night and was the most active and alert that I've seen her since this started.  I even got a few smiles.

God, I love those smiles.

New Update on Kendall

I decided to change the look of my blog.  Ever since I changed it last time, it seems like I've had nothing but bad luck.  Maybe this will help change my luck?

Kendall is still stable.  She was still having a hard time regulating her body temperature so they moved her to the Intermediate Care Unit and placed her in an isolette (incubator).  As of 8 am this morning, she was doing better with her temperature.

The spinal fluid that was taken the other night did not grow any bacteria so it appears that we now have the meningitis in check.  Her antibiotic may be decreased to just penicillin today.  She is eating again and took 2 oz of formula at 2 am, another 20 mL at 3 am and then another 2 oz at 5 am.  Wonderful news that she's eating!

There were some new developments over night though.  A small blood clot has developed at the end of the IV and they are monitoring it closely.  Her leg is really swollen but the IV line is still open and her circulation to the leg and foot is still good.  If things worsen, they will pull the IV line.  If that happens, she'll have to have another line surgically inserted and that's not what we want to have happen (especially if yesterday's episode was related to sedation).

She also received a blood transfusion last night.  The doctor explained that preemies aren't that great at making blood and when they are sick, it's even harder.  Her red blood cell count has been in the low-normal range since she was admitted so, they gave her 40 cc of blood to re-oxygenate her. 

I did manage to get some sleep last night, or at least the most that I could.  I slept from 11:30 pm - 1:00 am, 2:30 am - 5:00 am and 6:00 am - 8:00 am.  It's not consecutive hours but it's still sleep.

DH & I will head up to the hospital this afternoon.  My sister has offered to watch Christopher so we can both visit her together.  Please continue to pray for my little angel.

One Step Forward and One Step Back

Kendall had her central IV line inserted today and it required sedation.  She did fine during the procedure and recovered well.  I left the hospital around 12:30 so I could get Christopher to his doctor's appointment and just as I was pulling in front of my house, the hospital called.

Kendall had another "breathing episode" right after I left.  Her heart rate, blood pressure and respirations dropped suddenly.  The doctor said they were still investigating and trying to figure out what was going on but warned me that she might be moved back to the ICU.  Her body temperature also dropped all the way down to 92.  That's lower than what it was when she got first got admitted.

I immediately burst into tears.  I don't know how much more of this I can take.  She is so little and has already endured so much.  I just want my baby to come home.

I called the doctor back about 30 minutes later and they placed her in a warming bed and got her body temperature back up.  He also suspected that she had a reaction to the medicine used to sedate her and he administered some meds to reverse the effects.  He said once he did that, she pinked up, perked up and started crying.

As of 5pm EST, she was still stable and was able to take 1 oz of formula so hopefully this was a temporary setback and she'll be back to recovering.

We did get some good news on Christopher.  His labwork came back normal so as of today, he does not appear to be infected.  He also made some significant progress with his weight gain and weighed exactly 6 lbs today.  Such a big boy!

I'm feeling so torn.  I feel like I need to stay with her at the hospital but I also feel guilty for leaving Christopher.  I feel guilty for being able to hold, hug and kiss Christopher while she's still so sick.  If there were a way to clone myself, I'd be first in line.  I'm operating on fumes at this point.  I'm fortunate to get 3 hours of sleep a day and my life is based in 3-4 hour increments.  I'm living for the next task - pumping, feeding, driving to the hospital.  I didn't eat anything today until 4:00. I'm so tired but I can't spare the time to sleep.  I have to keep going for my babies.