Next Verse Same As The First

Well, my husband is now officially unemployed.  Again.

His contract ended yesterday.  We knew the end was near but frankly, I was expecting more than 48 hours notice. 

Apparently, all's fair in the world of love and contract work.

He has some interviews set up next week with some recruiters but as of right now, we have no job prospects on the horizon.

I'm scared.  We have absolutely nothing in savings right now.  Over the last 4 months, we've spent almost $6,000 on both of our cars just to keep them running.  We're depleted.

I make a decent salary but not enough to sustain the household.  I'm a BIG TIME planner and not knowing when he'll find a job is absolutely stressing me out.   I have a spreadsheet where I track our bills and I've created a tab called "Worst Case".

It's not pretty.

I do have a solution though.  I'm just going to stay drunk this weekend and then I'll remain oblivious to everything.

Not a solid plan, huh?

I am trying to keep my faith and believe that everything will work out.  It always does, one way or another. 

In the meantime, could you say a few prayers for us?  Or, just pass along any really good drink recipes that you might have.

Mother's Day

Mother’s Day. A day I have both loathed and loved. First, I wanted to give a shout out to all of the “mom’s in waiting” that are still out there. Your time will come. I know it’s hard and it seems like it will never happen for you. Just have faith and believe.


I tried to think of a post this year that would encompass everything that I feel about Mother’s Day now. I don’t know if I’ll come up with the right words so instead, I’ll just give examples of the things I love:

I love when my son puts his arms around my neck and wants me to lay my head on his chest when I’m tucking him in at night.

I love when my daughter’s eyes get big with excitement when she asks me to tickle her

I love that my son is athletic like his Daddy

I love that my daughter has an artistic side like me

I love to hear my kids laugh and play with each other

I love when my son tells me he is going to dream about me when he goes to sleep

I love when my son tells me he missed me when I pick them up after work

I love when my daughter makes a joke and giggles endlessly

I love that my kids are happy and healthy

I love that my kids like to help me in the kitchen

I love that my kids still like to crawl in my lap for a snuggle

I love that my son is an active, thoughtful and outgoing little boy. I love that my daughter is a smart, sensitive and sometimes shy little girl.


What do I want for Mother’s Day? Not a thing – I already have it.

Nashville Bound

I'm going to see my sister at the end of the month!  They moved in January and I haven't seen her in 3 months!  It will be a short trip (May 31 - June 4) but I'm going solo so I can't complain!  While I would love to have the whole family go, it's just too expensive right now.  And, a 10-hour car ride just isn't appealing for a short trip. 

That will be the longest that I've ever been away from the kids.  EVER.  I hope I handle it OK.  Eeeeek!

Not much else has been going on.  The weather is finally starting to break so we've been trying to get outside as much as possible.  Christopher has taken a new fascination with baseball.  Luckily my husband still had an old batting tee from his softball days so they've been doing batting practice after work and on the weekends.

Between football and baseball, my kid is gonna score a scholarship!  I seriously think he's going to be one of those kids that is just good at sports.  He is connecting with the ball and it goes pretty far!

A few weeks ago, I had one of those "Holy Crap my kids are getting older" moments.  Kendall can spell her name!
She can't quite write it yet but if I ask her to spell it, she'll recite the letters.  In order!

I was completely floored!  I'm no child development guru but that's good, right?!

So, I do have a personal question for you guys.  I suspect that I'm probably older than many of you (turned 43 in April) so I don't know if this is relevant but I'll ask anyway.  Over the last 6 months or so, my skin has been acting like I'm back in my teens.  Oily skin, break outs and just plain gross.  It's not bad enough for prescription medication at this point.  More annoying and a bit embarrassing right now. I'm chalking it up to hormonal changes but since I had the hysterectomy during the twins' birth, I don't have periods any more.  So, I never know where I am in my monthly cycle nor do I know if I'm close to menopause.  

Anyway.  If you have oily skin or if you are also experiencing this, what products and/or regime is working for you?  I just spent $80 at Target purchasing new cleanser, lotion and foundation.  I found a dermatologist website that suggested some good drugstore products so I thought it wouldn't hurt to give them a try.  I was using Oil of Olay (that I've used forever) and a cheap foundation.  I've changed cleansers I don't know how many times - from salicylic acid to exfoliating.  I use acne medications and then it dries out my skin and the cycle begins.  Plus, I have to come to grips with the fact that I also have "aging skin" with wrinkles. 

Today, I purchased Neutrogena Healthy Skin, Anti-Wrinkle Anti-Blemish Clear Skin Cream (for pm),  CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser (for am),  Neutrogena Skin Smoothing Serum, Neutrogena Oil-Free Moisturizer, a Primer for under foundation and Revlon Color Stay Foundation for Combination/Oily Skin.

I should look like Cindy Crawford by next week. 

Peek-A-Boo!

I see you!

Gosh, I've been gone awhile.  I think I owe you some updates?

My friend Tammi just had her 2nd chemo treatment on Friday.  I got to meet up with her last week to go wig shopping.  It was so good to see her in person.  I hugged her for so long that it got awkward.  LOL!

She only had a few wisps of hair left so she opted to have it shaved.  She is extremely confident in herself and her appearance so she's not opposed to sporting her new bald head.  I think she actually prefers it.  But, her girls wanted her to have a wig.  They are 12 and 8 and I think the site of a bald head might be too much of a reality check for them. 

I've been spending a lot of time on my Scentsy business.  I had a rockin' launch party and was able to become certified in my first month.  Super exciting news because now I max out my commission percentage. 

I was so stoked after that party that I decided to enroll in Grace Adele, a Scentsy sister company.  Grace Adele was just launched by the company last summer and it is awesome.  What girl doesn't like handbags, accessories and jewelry?!
It's a very unique 5-step system where you choose your color, your bag and then you can add in matching clutches, wallets and jewelry.  With just one bag, you can have 7 different looks just by changing out the clutch.  This is my website if you'd like to check it out:  https://suzannebanks.graceadele.us.  There's a Build Your Look tool that is really fun to play with!  We ship anywhere so you can still place an order if you live outside of the area. 

(totally don't intend to sell my wares on this blog - I just get excited).  :)

The twins are doing great.  Christopher has been a pain in the ass the last few days.  Love him to death but he's been a jerk the last 3 days - not listening, outright saying "no" when I ask him to do something, getting up from Time Out, picking on his sister.  The weather has finally turned and we've been getting outside a lot but it just doesn't seem to be helping his mood.   I'm assuming it's just a phase and he'll be back to his sweet, cuddly self soon enough.

I think my husband's travelling is finally done.  He was gone for another week, left on Easter Sunday and came back that Friday night.  It appears likely this contract will end mid-May so fingers crossed, something else will turn up and he'll be able to keep working without any lapses.  We need that income. 

That's about it for me!

Ready for Change

Do you ever feel like you're in a rut?

You too, huh?

I'm getting the itch to make some changes and that only means one thing...

Spending money.

Since we aren't prepared to move, I'll have to be happy with re-decorating and re-purposing our existing house. 

I'm blaming Spring.  I think I have spring fever but without warmer temperatures, I feel like I need to make my house feel "springy".   Or something like that.

I re-decorated our mantel a few weekends ago.  It was way overdue.  I bought these Pottery Barn stars about 7 years ago and they've been above the fireplace ever since.  (This is my "fall" mantel).

And, here's my new spring mantel:

The mirror was actually attached to my dresser in our Master bedroom.  I found the flowers, bird house and ceramic bird at Michael's for less than $35. 

Next up on my list is the downstairs powder room and upstairs bathroom.   Thank God for Pinterest!

In other news, my "cancer"  friend ended up being admitted to the hospital after feeling pretty crappy for several days.  She developed neutropenic fever from the chemo treatment and her immune system essentially shut down.  Her white blood cell count bottomed out and she was not in good shape. 

She was put on high dose antibiotics, received IV fluids and I'm happy to report she was released on Easter Sunday.  She's back home now and slowly getting back to some normalcy.  Except now she's dealing with nose bleeds.  Ugh!

Please continue to keep her in your thoughts and prayers. 

Success and Heart Break

Good news first!

I had my Scentsy Launch Party over the weekend and had SO much fun!  I really think I am going to enjoy doing this. 

I had 13 people confirm they were coming and the day of the event, I kept checking my Facebook and email to make sure no one was cancelling.  So far, so good.

And, then at 5:30 pm, I had my first person cancel.   OK.  That's OK.  I expected at least one.

The party started at 7:00 pm and my first guest arrived at 6:50 pm.  I welcomed her in and she said, "I have good news and bad news".

Oh no.

She had unexpected company and couldn't re-arrange their dinner plans for that evening.  She was supposed to bring her mom to the party and now neither of them could come. 

:(

She took 2 catalogs and I gave her my 2-minute mini-presentation and off she went.

I started getting worried.  This was NOT looking good. 

All in all, I had 7 people come so that's still a good turn out in my book.  Everyone was very receptive to the products and I had a great night with sales.

So good in fact that I was promoted to the next level and I'm now getting the maximum commission that I can get! 

Can I get a WHOO to the HOO?

I already have a party lined up with my sister-in-law and a co-worker of my mom's is interested in hosting a party was well.   My goal is to have 1 party per month so it's looking good so far!

Now for the bad news.

My friend Tammi (see previous 2 posts) is really struggling through this first chemo treatment.  The nurse told her it would get worse before it gets better but I don't think Tammi was prepared.  She had the meds administered last Friday and each day, she seems to be in more pain and feeling worse.  The nurse told her it's her immune system shutting down because it's been in this virtual battle all week.

Tammi said she feels like she has the most horrible case of the flu, without the fever. 

It is breaking my heart.  I hate this.  I hate knowing she is in pain.  I hate knowing that this was only the first round and she's going to have to do this every 3 weeks for the next 6 months.  Cancer is such an unforgiving bastard.

The Grass Isn't Always Greener

I finally caught up with Tammi (see last post).  She was in great spirits, which didn't surprise me.  That's just her.

We chatted for over an hour.  A long overdue chat.  We send quick notes and emails to each other but we haven't really talked in almost 2 years.  Not like that.

She confided in me that she was going through a divorce.  A messy divorce. 

She told me her husband was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and his destructive behavior had finally taken its toll.   I understand it.  35 years later and we have that in common too.  While I'm nowhere near a divorce, I understand the damage that can be done when living with someone that has the disease.  

So, my good friend is a single mother to 12 & 8 year old girls, her mother passed away in 2011 and she just divorced.  Holy shit.

That's alot for anyone.  And now?  Cancer.  

During our short emails and conversations on Facebook, she never even hinted at any of this.   Her life seemed, well?   Perfect.

She seems to be in a good place with the dreaded word:  cancer.   I can't say that she has completely accepted it but she is slowly wrapping her head around it.   Years ago, she adopted a "clean eating" philosophy.  She exercises.  She doesn't use any products that contain toxins.  That's all good for someone battling cancer and starting chemo.

She is having a lot of inner turmoil with the chemo.  She is viewing it as putting something "bad" in her body.  I respect her values but damn it!  Just do what you need to do to get that crap out of your  body!  Last night,  she actually posted in her journal that she almost postponed treatment.  WHAT?!   

I know it's scary.  Really scary.  She is supposed to have her first treatment this morning.  I am praying and praying that she goes.  I know everyone has their own beliefs but I honestly don't believe a holistic approach is the sole treatment option here.

I looped back with my friend Sandra (the OB/GYN) and she's still very cautious.  Tammi has the most common form of cancer - Invasive Ductal.   She found a small, hard lump during a self-exam but it wasn't tender and she has a history of cysts.  A few weeks later, she found it again and this time it was sore.  2 days later, she had a mammogram. 

Tammi told me it's a small tumor (5mm) and it is NOT in her lymph nodes.  I hung up feeling relieved and optimistic.  And then Sandra said some things aren't adding up and she's wondering if Tammi is telling the truth.  Let me preface that by saying I completely understand that it is extremely difficult to take in all of the details when speaking with doctor after doctor.  I'm not in any way trying to imply that Tammi is "lying".   But, it is entirely feasable that she may be forgetting some stuff.

Sandra still thinks the course of treatment is extremely aggressive for such a small tumor.  She thinks Tammi also has metastatic disease.  That means the cancer is a traveller and jumping to chemo makes sense for that.

I'm so torn with what to believe.  I want to believe Tammi and that everything will be OK and it's not a big deal.  But, I can't ignore a doctor who understands what is going on. 

I guess that's neither here nor there.  It won't change how I support her.   I will not allow her to go through this alone. 

I know you don't know my friend but please say a prayer for her.