What Type of Mother Are You?

I'm one of three children in my family.  Yes, I'm the dreaded middle child.

Out of the three, I still think I was the one that caused the least amount of grief for my parents.

I never skipped school.  I never did drugs.  I had respectable friends from respectable families.  I got decent grades.

And, then I hit my teen years.  And I rebeled against my mother with every ounce of energy that I had in me.  There was no specific reason now that I look back.   At the time, she just annoyed me because I knew everything.

Maybe we were too similar?  Maybe I was struggling to find my own independence?  Maybe I was just a pain in the ass.

Now that I have children of my own, I find myself imitating the very things that annoyed me about my own mother.

And, I'm saying the same things.

"Eat your dinner.  There are starving kids that would give anything to have a good meal".
"Because I'm your mother and I said so".

Growing up and thinking about becoming a mother (before I even knew what infertility was or how precious motherhood is), I vowed I would always:

• Tell my kids I love them.  Every day.  Sometimes 5 times a day.
• Understand their feelings and nurture them to be strong and independent
• Try to be their friend but be their parent first
• Let them make their own choices (as long as their safety isn't in jeopardy)
• Encourage them to be creative
• Show them what a loving relationship is through my own relationship with their father

Are there days when I want to lock myself in a closet and cry?  Are there days when I feel like I'm failing my kids and myself?  Absolutely.

Being a mother is hard.  We have to push our own needs aside to take care of our family.  I'm always the first one up in the morning and the last one to bed.  I'm always the last one to eat.  I don't get to sleep in or take a day off.

I am a mother.

Wanting some reassurance, I recently took one of those on-line quizzes that asked the very title of this post. 

Yes, I know.  It's an on-line quiz that typically has no merit.

I answered the 10 questions truthfully and it returned the following analysis:

You're an Encouraging Mom!

You've got motherhood down to a science. You seem to have mastered the balance of listening to your children and making sure that they listen to you too. You clearly value your kids' thoughts and feelings -- which has taught them that their opinions are valid. It's this kind of mutual respect between parents and children that leads to independent, responsible, and creative adults who can think outside the box. With all this encouragement, your child is on a pace to be running for president in 2040!

Wow. 

Through all of the exhaustion, lack of patience and frustration, I AM being the mother I want to be.

Thank you Mom for making me the woman I am today.  For encouraging me to have opinions, to think for myself, to be independent. 

For making me the mom that I am.

If you're interested in taking the quiz, here's the link:
http://www.bhg.com/bhg/quiz.jsp?catref=cat730022&quizId=/templatedata/bhg/quiz/data/whattypeofmotherareyou_02292004.xml