I still receive newsletters from our fertility clinic. Sometimes I think to myself that I should just unsubscribe. Having more children is not in our plans. Other times, a voice inside my head tells me I can't. I'm not ready to say goodbye.
Infertility is (in a way) a distant memory. Over the last 3 years, my life has moved from being consumed about getting pregnant to being consumed with taking care of my twins and my family.
As any mother will tell you, there are good days and bad days with your kids. The good days are so totally awesome that you want to shout to everyone about how awesome your totally awesome kids are.
And, on the bad days? Ugh.
On those bad days, I yell. I threaten to take their TV time away. The words "timeout" are mentioned more times than I like to admit.
I will admit this. On the REALLY bad days, I try to remember what it was like to be on my own schedule. To lay on the couch and have a lazy day without interruption. To have a clean house. To go out to dinner with my husband and have a conversation about something other than kids.
And then I give myself a kick in the ass.
And I make myself go back and read my blog when I was so desperate to get pregnant.
When the fertility clinic was my only hope. When those newsletters offered support and ideas and encouragement.
It's so easy to take things for granted when you have them. I'm glad those newsletters remind me of that.
2 comments:
I've guiltily thought to myself "and I paid for this?" at times when Emma is especially trying! But thankfully we things like our blogs to remind us of how far we've come!
I'm in the same boat with not being ready to let go of our fertility clinic just yet. In a strange way, the reminder of just how terrible it felt before babies makes me feel better when the chaos of twins feels overwhelming.
I'm doing my best to turn the chaos into a good story over at www.twointhemud.wordpress.com and am looking forward to following your blog to see what I can expect in the next few years.
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