My "post cycle" follow up appointment with Dr. B is November 18th.
I have to say that at this moment, I'm fairly complacent about the whole thing.
An "Eh" (shrug shoulders) attitude, if you will.
I don't think she'll provide any earth-shattering revelations and I'm fully expecting the same response that I got last time.
"Sometimes it takes a few tries".
Well, that would be great if my father was Donald Trump.
So, I'm at a cross roads.
I don't feel like I'm ready to quit yet. That's a good sign.
What I'm having a hard time dealing with is the very real possibility of failing again.
I have 2 major obstacles...
1) My clinic has a Shared Risk program. Qualified patients pay one flat rate and receive up to 6 cycles. Unfortunately, I no longer qualify because the patient has to be able to complete all 6 cycles before her 39th birthday.
Guess who turns 39 in April?
2) I mentioned before that my insurance is tapped out which means we'd have to take out a loan. If we took out $25,000, that would give us one more fresh cycle and god willing, another frozen. Sounds promising?
What if those 2 cycles don't work?
We're stuck paying the loan back with nothing to show for it.
That's a bitter pill to swallow. The sting and anger after writing that check each month would be unbearable.
So, that leaves me in quite a pickle.
Do I gamble?
Do we take our chances that it will work on what we know would be our last one, possibly 2, chances?
I need some advice. What would you do?
7 comments:
Hi! I found your blog on Wendy's. Hope you don't mind a stranger chiming in.
My husband and I tried for 6 years for pursuing adoption. Our RE could find nothing wrong with either of us and wanted us to try IVF. We started with a less drastic approach, an IUI. One try and we said, "See ya!" The gamble wasn't worth it to us. We felt like if we were going to spend thousands and thousands of dollars to become parents, we wanted something to show for it at the end. So, we started the process and in 2005, our daughter was born. We were there when she was born and brought her home 4 days later. I have such a hard time remembering that we adopted her. To us, she is ours! We have an open adoption with her birth family, so there is that reminder. But she acts so much like us, and even looks like us, I forget. Last year, we were surprised to find out that I was pregnant. I now have two, beautiful daughters. Looking back, I can see God's hand in all of it and I am so grateful we took the route we did.
Hope this helps!
Jessica
ooops, we tried for 6 years BEFORE pursuing adoption. Guess I should have proofread!
Suzanne,
From reading the summary of your ttc history, I noticed you haven't done any IUI. Perhaps there was/is a reason for this.
If however IUI is a viable option, perhaps you could pursue that route based on the difference in cost.
In reality, I don't know how much it would cost you for IUI or if you have at least the same or greater chance of success as with IVF.
Perhaps if you do a small feasibility plan, you might be able to determine if IUI is a good and cheaper substitute to gamble on.
Good luck with your plans.
I'd take the gamble--but try to mitigate the costs by choosing a cheaper alternative(IUI)--if said alternative is a viable option.
Best wishes,
Anna
I wish I had some magical answer, however all I can do is give insight into what we went through. We tried for several years to get pregnant (due to my health we were limited to clomid and that was about it), and pursued adoption. Once starting the process we found out we were pregnant, stopped the adoption process and ended up losing our son in the second trimester. It was a horrible experience that I have never quite gotten over but have moved on. The following year our daughter was born (through adoption), it was the best experience and I think it was all in God's plan. Our daughter was ment to be ours. We now have a son through adoption as well, and I believe he was ment to be ours as well. I became pregnant this past fall (out of the clear blue wasn't expecting that one!) however miscarried just recently. My husband and I had discussed adoption before we were even married because of my health, so we always had that in the back of our mind. Our children's adoption stories are quite different, bother were domestic, and from our state (actually they were born in the same city we live)- with are son I was in the delivery room. Our son's bm we have limited contact through texting; our daughter's birth family has choosen not to stay in contact. I could go on and on about adoption. Bottom line is, you have to do what is right for you and your husband and what is in your heart. You have to think what do you ultimately want. If you decide on adoption I would be glad to answer any questions that you may have (as best as I can). God bless and best wishes.
(hope you don't mind a stranger commenting)
Suzanne, these decisions are so personal. I think even though so many of us walk a similar path, our journeys are so different and only we really know what is right for us.
For me it boils down to not having any regrets 10 years from now with the decisions we make today. The "what if" needs to be quenched fully for me before we can move on. Everyone has a different "what if" to answer.
I wish I had better advice to give. I find though that when I often read others advice to me, I find myself already knowing deep down the answer to my own question.
Many hugs and all my best for your appointment and decision on next steps.
Hi Suzanne,
I'm with Brenda: it's all about not having regrets.
I am lucky enough to have insurance coverage for infertility, although I am pretty much maxed out in that department. However, it SICKENS me that women around here in the wealthiest country in the world are forced to go into debt because of greedy pharmaceutical and medical companies. I plan to make this issue the fight of my life, writing letters to senators, congress, presidents, etc.
I agree that sigining the check each month to pay off that loan would be devastating. I guess the question is... which is more painful: buying treatments that might fail or buying the ability to say "we did all we could"?
It's so, so personal. Only you and DH know what you can live with.
Sending so many hugs as you maneuver through this decision.
What about a 2nd opinion?
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