I wish I had better news to share. Of the 10, only 4 fertilized.
From the start, my hopes were different with this cycle. I'm more disinterested, for lack of a better word.
At first, I thought it was because I was distracted and mourning Kaly. As the days pass, I still find myself going through the motions and not really thinking of the outcome.
So, while this news is disappointing, it isn't surprising. It is what it is.
It pisses me off more that I had to go through all of this crap for what could be nothing.
I know, I know. It only takes one. Whatever.
I'm more concerned about what changed since the last cycle. We clearly had fewer eggs retrieved this time. But, still within the average range.
Did the semen collection at home make a difference?
Did something change with me? Am I getting too old?
DH and I haven't discussed what our next options are. Today, I can't say one way or another if this will be our last cycle.
Maybe all 4 will grow nice and strong and we'll end up with 4 blasts. Who knows?
My gut is telling me our prognosis won't be quite so bright.
5 comments:
I'm sorry. I know it's not what you want to hear, but my first IVF we retrieved 9 and only 4 fertilized - transferred 2 3 day embryos and both stuck (one even split). Yes, we lost them, but not till 23 weeks (in other words, not related to the efficacy of the IVF or embryo quality).
Good luck.
I'm sorry, I wish all 10 would have fertilized.
And I totally get your disassociation with the cycle - we need to preserve ourselves somehow.
I hope we hear great news in the coming days.
Ugh. I'm sorry, Suzanne. I know it's not what you were hoping for. I do hope that those four (The Fabulous Four...that's what I'm calling them!)continue to grow and do well. I understand how you're feeling, too. You've been through a lot up to this point.
Thinking of you. Lots of hugs.
Wishing you snd the Fab Four (it does sound nice)the best.
I completly understand what you are saying about being disinterested. This whole process is such an emotional sucker that disconnecting is an essential safety net to keep your sanity.
I am really sorry about Kaly!
Suzanne,
You didn't mention how many were mature. Not that it makes a difference at this point, but it might also shed some light on what's happening.
I think we all go through the motions because in reality when one take into account the number of months they keeping seeing bfns, reading of fellow blog-buddies cycles not working--sometimes it's just really hard to invest too much emotionally.
Many of us are just jaded by the whole process. We just do what we must and pray it works out.
Sorry for the crappy post.
Sincerely wishing, hoping and praying this works.
Anna
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