Tuesday, March 24, 2009

They Call Me Chesty. Chesty McMuffin.

Before going to bed last night, I signed a waiver for elective breast augmentation surgery.

I woke up from surgery around 3:00 this morning and rolled on to my stomach.

Yooooow!

I now have Boobs of Steel! Not only are they ginormous but they hurt like hell.

I've always been "well-endowed", I guess. I'm 5'8 and a 36C. Some people think that's a nice size - I guess it depends on which side of the dressing room you're standing.

I'm trying to remain positive and I think I might be able to market these bad boys.

They are harder than any teflon-coated pan you own!
They can save lives more efficiently than a bullet-proof vest!
The tin man will never run out of a hat!

All this for just $19.95!

But, wait! Act now and we'll throw in an instruction booklet on how to turn them into a floatation device!

MasterCard, Visa, American Express Accepted.

1 comment:

Eb said...

Funny!! I heard that a little chocolate cake help the boob situation. Or was that all situations. EB