Missing Kaly

I’ve been thinking about Kaly a lot today. She’s been gone 6 weeks. Our house has returned to a sense of routine but definitely not normalcy. I know not to expect her when I come home after work but it’s still hard to accept she’s gone. I have her picture saved on my desktop and there’s still times when it catches me off-guard and I get that lump in my throat.

When we moved into our house, I knew this would be the house we’d be a family in. We’d have kids (it was easy in my dreams) and we’d have our dogs and cat and we’d be happy. I always pictured Kaly would be the one that would lay her head in my lap when I was pregnant and she’d be the one that would protect the kids. Now, that will never happen.

I casually read my weekly horoscope and I remember one in particular when Kaly got sick again at the beginning of January. It said:

“One road must end in order for another to begin”.

It made me cry then and it still makes me cry. Now, I know what it meant.

I got a gift from Kaly today.

It's light but it's there.